10 Tips to Fight Depression

By Abdul Malik Mujahid

Feeling down in the dumps, depressed, having the blues: these are just some of the terms used to describe a feeling of hopelessness and despair that can hit even the most optimistic of us at some point in our lives. While clinical depression requires proper professional treatment, the occasional feeling of sadness due to factors ranging from economic difficulty to harassment and discrimination can be helped through some simple spiritual practices. Here are a couple that can help:

1. Look at those below you

The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Whenever you see someone better than you in wealth, face or figure, you should look at someone who is inferior to you in these respects” (Bukhari, Muslim).If you are reading this article online, consider this: you are one of the lucky set of human beings on the planet who can afford a computer and internet connection or at least have access to one.
The United Nations Development Program's 2007 Human Development Report notes that there are still around 1 billion people living worldwide at the margins of survival on less than $1 a day, with 2.6 billion living on less than $2 a day.
Also consider that in the Quran (14:7), God says that if you are thankful to Him for what you have, He blesses you with more.

2. Serve your fellow human beings

The best way to thank God is to serve humanity, especially those who have less than you. Serving others is uplifting and rewarding. It helps us gain a better perspective on life's challenges, making us realize how very often, are problems seem so small compared to the awesome difficulties others face.
That's why when the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, and the Muslims were a small, poor and persecuted community, they used to give to the poor even more. They understood that when you are generous when you have less, you achieve the perspective of a winner. You are focused on the bigger picture.

3. Read Surah Ad Duha

According to one report, after the Prophet had begun receiving revelation from God, at one point a long period of time passed with no such communication from Allah. As a result, the Makkans ridiculed the Prophet and he became severely depressed. That's when this chapter was revealed (Quran 93: 1-11). The chapter is a beautiful reminder to us to see life in the greater scheme of things, to be grateful for what we have and to never give up striving for what is right. This chapter of the Quran can be considered a direct recipe from God for depression.4. Turn to God in all situationsRemember that nothing can harm you without the consent of God. While you must take care of yourself, rely on God and know that He is always with you and only He can give you strength in difficult times. Also remember that He will help you can come out of a trying situation as a better person if you deal with it positively.

5. Remember God's Names

God has many beautiful Names which describe His attributes and powers. These are reminders of His Love, Mercy, Forgiveness, Justice, Strength and much, more. Supplicating to God using these Names reminds us that God has these attributes more than any other being and that we can and must rely on Him during good and bad times.

6. Say Hasbun Allahu wa Ni' mal Wakeel

This has been translated as "God suffices me and He is the best guardian." It is an excellent way of reminding us that whatever worries we have or problems we face, God has the answer and cure to all of them and is the only One who can really do what is best for us.

7. Make sure when you leave home, you read this Dua, ‘In the name of Allah, I place my trust in Allah, and there is no might nor power except with Allah.’ Bismillahe tawakkaltu alAllahe la haula wa la quwwata illa biAllah.

8. Take your spiritual break from the world, five times a day

Taking a break away from school, work or other life activities to spend a few minutes to remember God helps you reconnect with the Creator of the Universe, fortify your soul and strengthen your resolve to live a better life that is in tune with your faith and principles.

9. End your day on a good note

Shakespeare once wrote a play entitled “All's well that ends well.” That's good advice for dealing with depression too. End a day that may have been riddled with challenges and frustrations by making Wudu before going to bed, thinking of God and the Prophet and counting every blessing you have.

10. Stop Shaytan in his tracks

Shaytan is the source of many of our negative emotions. It's his job to make us feel pessimistic and to despair of any good in life. When you feel these feelings coming on, stop him dead in his tracks: say Aoutho billahi minash Shaytan ir Rajeem (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed satan).

Persevere...

Persevere, have faith in His benevolence.
Through afflictions God only tests your faith;
He is completely aware of your condition.
Have patience and wait for the divine decree.
Do not become like the foolish laborer who is removed from the king's palace for demanding his wages ahead of time.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"

Remembrance or Forgetfulness?

I had a discussion with a student yesterday. He asked me about a conversation he had with a co-worker, who, upon learning that my student liked to do zikr on his motorbike on his way to work, asked my student why he needed to say that particular surah so many times when, according to the Prophet (SAW), saying la ilaha illallah once with sincerity is sufficient. My student did not know how to answer his co-worker at the time. The incident reminded me of something my teacher taught me, so I relayed it to him. Based on what I was taught, the answer is, actually, quite simple and it lies in the Hadith Qudsi which states very clearly, "I am with My slave when he remembers me." Every moment in this life is an opportunity to be in one of two states -- that of remembrance or that of forgetfulness. To be in remembrance is when Allah returns the favor and remembers us, resulting in infinite goodness. To be otherwise is, well, otherwise. As such, after your one sincere moment of remembrance, what then? What do you do with the remaining moments? The Great Jihad is fought at this level -- in the heart and the mind. To live in remembrance as often as possible, or in forgetfulness. This is the choice we have as we go through this life and its string of moments.

Allah and His Creation...

God created suffering and heartache, so that joy might be known as their opposite.
Hidden things become manifest through their opposites.
But God has no opposite; so he remains hidden.
Light is known as the opposite of darkness.
But God's light has no opposite.
Thus we cannot know him through our eyes.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

Learning About Ourselves...

People differ greatly in the amount of anxiety and worry they can stand: some can endure a great deal without being adversely affected, while others soon show signs of strain.
You should observe yourself closely, so that you understand your own powers of endurance.
By this means you will learn to divest yourself before any harm is done.

-Razi: Kitab al-Muluki

The Miracle of Spiritual Healing....

Here's what Real Healing is all about.

With Forgiveness and Justice, we investigate your life and the validity of your limiting beliefs. Seen in the right light, all problems are understandable. Once they are understood properly (brought into consciousness), the lessons they are there are to teach us are learned and there is no further need for the problem. That's why we all need a healer: someone who can help us make sense of our lives. When your past is completely clear to you, your future becomes equally clear. The only reason we do not see clearly into the future is that we are attempting to view it through the unclear lense of the past. Spiritual Realization is the very foundation of our well-being, our health, happiness and prosperity. Bringing body and soul into alignment relieves the mind of its preoccupations and heart of its burdens. This allows our natural healing energies to operate freely and unencumbered within the body.

- Ali Ansari

Refraining from Wrongdoing

I once saw a Christian monk gaunt through self-sacrifice and doubled over by the fear of God.
I asked him to show me the path of God.
He replied, "If you knew God you would know the way to Him.
I worship Him although I do not know Him; you disobey Him though you know Him.
With knowledge comes fear, yet you are self-assured; with heresy ignorance, yet I feel fear within me."
His words moved me so deeply that since then I have refrained from wrongdoing.

-Abd'Allah bin Mubarak al-Marwazi, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

If You Wish to Shine Like the Daylight....

If you wish to shine like the daylight, burn up the night of self-importance.
Dissolve the self like copper in the elixir; dissolve in Him who fosters all existence.
But you are bound by the discord of "I" and "We."
The cause of your ruin is this sad dualism.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

Trust Your Heart!

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said: "…Righteousness is that about which the soul feels tranquil, and wrongdoing is that which wavers in the soul, and moves to and fro in the breast even though people again and again have given you their legal opnion [in its favor]."

(An Nawawi #27)

Come Against Your Will

Come against your will is the toggle of the intelligent;
Come willingly is the spring-time of those who have lost their hearts.

-Mathnawi [III, 4472]

Against your will is to go against your nafs; giving in to every desire by following your own whims is the path to self-destruction.

Allow God's Power to Pervade our Actions....

When we allow God’s power to pervade all our actions, and submit to his decrees, we shed all anxiety about the effects of our actions on others;
we cease even to consider the effects of our actions.
When we cease to consider the effects of our actions, we are adopting the attributes of God himself.

- Qushayri, "Risalah"

Ask Allah for the Remedy and Be Patient....

This world is full of remedies.
But you have no remedy until God opens a window for you.
You may not be aware of that remedy just now.
In the hour of need it will be made clear to you.
The Prophet said God made a remedy for every pain.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

What is Soul?

What is soul?
Soul is conscious of good and evil,
rejoicing over kindness, weeping over injury.
Since consciousness is the inmost nature and essence of the soul,
the more aware you are the more spiritual you are.
Awareness is the effect of the spirit:
anyone who has this in abundance is a man or woman of God.

- Rumi, Mathnawi [VI, 148-150]

The How is Chosen by Allah...

"Rabi'a," Hasan asked, "how have you attained such a degree of holiness?"
Rabi'a replied: "By losing in him all that I have attained."
Hasan asked, "How do you know God?"
Rabi'a replied: "You want to know how to know God. I know God, without knowing how to know him."

-Attar: Rabi'a

Knowledge Saves the Heart from Ignorance

Knowledge is the spirit that saves the heart from the death of ignorance;
it is the light that saves it from the darkness of iniquity.
The hearts of the iniquitous are dead because they are oblivious to God, and the hearts of the heedless are sick because they ignore His commandments.

-Abu Ali Thaqafi, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

A Leader Says So Much

If in the darkness of ignorance,
you don’t recognize a person’s true nature,
look to see whom he has chosen for his leader.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi" [IV, 1640]

This stanza speaks volumes....

Way to go Guys!

Terrific idea and effort by our youth....

Muslim Free Blood for Non-Muslims
By Ahmed Soliman, IOL Correspondent

The website has built up a worldwide database of more than 15,000 donors.

RIYADH — A brainchild of four technology-savvy young Saudis following the teachings of their faith, an online blood bank is assisting thousands of people, Muslims and non-Muslims in desperate need of blood donations.

"The website is serving Muslims and non-Muslims alike," Khalaf Al-Goudi, one of the founders of the http://www.freeblood.com/, told IslamOnline.net.

"It is quite often that a Muslim donates to a non-Muslim through our site," he added.

The website was established four years ago by Goudi, his cousin and two friends as a unique electronic blood bank that offers services to patients who need blood donations from around the world.

It has built up a worldwide database of more than 15,000 donors.

A person can visit the website and register as a blood donor or a patient who needs blood donations, providing information about city and country of residence, exact address, phone numbers and blood type.

The data are made available to those who badly need blood, hospitals as well as local and international blood banks.

The website clearly states that donors should not expect to be financially compensated for their donations.

"It is totally non-profit," says Goudi.

"The goal is to follow Islam's teachings of solidarity and helping others in need."

Efficient

The founders say their project offers an easy, accessible venue for donors and patients.
"It is more of a fast donor-patient link," says Goudi.

The four young Saudis were inspired by a situation they had experienced four years ago.
"There was this patient me and my cousin knew who needed a donation from a very rare blood type," Goudi recalls.

"When we went to the hospital's blood bank to ask for donors who can help him, they handed us this huge, tattered donors' record book.

"We were supposed to search it for donors who can help the patient."

The idea for the online blood bank was born only days after this experience.

"Six months later, the website was launched."

Goudi says he and the other founders were convinced that record books and paper archives can not be efficient in the age of computers and internet.

"A website would be much easier to access for both donors and patients, especially those who desperately need a life-saving blood donation," he maintains.

"All what it takes is one click and you have a list of donors who can help you out."

Pretension is a Veil

No denser veil than pretension exists between God and the devotee.
There is no closer way to God than spiritual impoverishment before Him.

-Tustari in ‘Attar: “Tadhkirat”

Enjoy Your Coffee!

A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, got together for a visit with their old university professor. The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general... Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal - some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite. Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee.

When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering...''You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is actually the source of much of your stress-related problems! ' He continued...''Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups... Then you began eyeing each other's cups....''

''Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Enjoy your coffee!''

The happiest people don't have the best of everything - they just make the best of everything they have... So please remember: Live simply. Love generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly. And remember - the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

See God in Everything...

Those who believe everything to be created by God see Him in everything.
They find comfort in regarding the Creator and not His creation.
All problems stem from the illusion that created things hold the ultimate power.
Turn to Him, therefore, if you seek deliverance.

-Al-Nuri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

Wahhabi Destruction of Madina...

Excerpts from

Nasiha li Ikhwanina ‘Ulama’ Najd

by

Shaykh as-Sayyid Yusuf al-Rifa‘i

translation by Dr. G.F. Haddad

On the ongoing Wahhabi destruction of Madina by the Saudis....

http://www.sunnah.org/arabic/mawldhouse/Wahabi_desecration_Sh_Rifai.htm

Do I Understand the World?

Assalamu alaykum Dear counselors..... I have a problem .... my son came 2 weeks ago to me and cried and said mum i don´t understand the world - how should I handle with the world? I looked at him and then thought he is only 20 years, have money, a car, studies medicine in one of the best universities, have a beautiful and religious wife, have kind parents, is good looking, have many friends, have a good health, so what is his problem??? So I asked him which problems do you have, why can´t you understand the world. He answeres with tears in his eyes: it is all very complicated I don´t understand the world - evil wins, people who hate me congratulate me to my birthday, which I don´t expect, and beloved ones didn´t congratulate me, all is running different: the good lose, the evil win, etc So how can I help him? Thank you


In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. May He bestow His peace and blessings on His messenger, Muhammad, his family, companions, and all of those who follow them sincerely.

Assalamualaikum,

Dear sister, yes, we do live in a world that often seems upside down. Your son is very perceptive in fact. Given that Allah has blessed him with so much, it is a refreshing sign to see someone who has so much be so concerned with the state of the world. What your son is echoing, in my opinion, is what many people, particularly young people, are feeling today. In many ways it is a very dark time we are living in with so much ignorance, hatred, inequality, oppression, violence and others occurring in the world. This is what your son is picking up on and it is indeed very difficult to understand. Nevertheless, as Muslims we must always seek understanding in our lives, for that is how we learn about Allah and his way of operating in the world.

First off, your son must understand that good never loses and evil never wins. Of course in this temporary world that may appear to be the case, but in Reality, in the world of Truth, only Allah exists and Allah is good. Evil, according to many erudite scholars and saints of Islam, only exists – is created by Allah – for the purpose of pointing mankind to good, to the all-pervading Mercy of Allah. Remember the Hadith Qudsi, “My mercy overcomes my wrath.” According to saints such as Jalaludin Rumi himself, evil only exists to point us human beings back to, and be grateful for the all-pervading Mercy of Allah. The following is from my last article on this website. It might help to put this in perspective:

“Everything is from Him. This was one of the first lessons I learned in Islam prior to my conversion six years ago. It is the peak of tawhid; simple, yet so important and powerful. EVERYTHING is from Allah. When we attempt to understand our lives in this way, through the eyes of tawhid, with Allah as the ultimate cause of everything (“Such is Allah, your Lord, the Creator of all things…” [40:62]), quite naturally we will seek understanding in our lives. We know Allah creates everything, we know Allah is the primary cause behind everything and we know that Allah is the Most Merciful and ultimate good. Thus, with everything that occurs in our lives, might we ask, “what are we to learn, oh Lord, and how should we respond to that which you have willed?” From this vantage point, we will naturally yearn to know what Allah wants us to do, which, in fact, we already have the answer – to know Him, as according to the Hadith Qudsi, “I was a hidden treasure that loved to be known, so I created creation so that I could be known.” Thus, Allah creates and manifests so that he can be known.

If it is the knowing of Him that Allah wants from us, does it not make sense that the manifestation of severity and rigor is Allah’s way of calling us back to Him and His all-pervading mercy and goodness? Could it be that the ‘whip’ of severity is the Creator’s way of reminding us of our ultimate purpose here? The Qur’an teaches us that there are three ways to know Allah: through revelation (i.e. the Qur’an), through creation, and through the Self.

One of the important roles that hardship plays in life is to facilitate introspection, to look toward the inside and better understanding of our innermost selves and heart. When we experience tragedy or calamity, often the first thing we do is go inside ourselves, seeking understanding and solace. It is an important soulful activity that must be done in order to fully realize our humanness. Part of the true self-surrendering to Allah (Al-Islam) must be to accept all of the Names of Allah, and to embrace all of the ways that He chooses to manifest Himself in our lives, including those perceived as severe or harsh. Not being appreciative of the mercy of Allah in our lives and merciful in our interactions with others will inevitably result in the experience of Allah’s wrath. For, to be neglectful in our role as the community of the ‘mercy to all the worlds’ (i.e. Prophet Muhammad (SAW)), is deserving of a Divine wake-up call.”

The craziness in the world that your son has picked up on is the result of all these human decisions to live lives in opposition to the Divine Reality and Allah’s guidance for mankind. Islam means ‘peace’ in that it is the way of life of unity – as a manifestation of tawhid, or the oneness of Allah. That is why the people of tawhid (i.e. the Muslims) should be the people showing the world how to live in unity and peace. Nevertheless, in too many cases, we are not. We are not exemplifying our way of life to bring peace. Allah says very simply in the Qur’an that he created us different for one reason – so that we can know one another.

“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)” (Al Hujraat:13).

Yet, we are not. Humanity as a whole is not. Therefore, we are shunning Allah’s mercy by turning away from His guidance and we are essentially getting what we have asked for, which is Allah’s wrath. What we can do from what we see happening around us is to get involved – even if it’s in a simple way like helping a loved or a neighbor. Allah records all of our good deeds, no matter how seemingly mundane they are.

“And the Book (of Deeds) will be placed (before you); and thou wilt see the sinful in great terror because of what is (recorded) therein; they will say, "Ah! woe to us! what a Book is this! It leaves out nothing small or great, but takes account thereof!" They will find all that they did, placed before them: And not one will thy Lord treat with injustice” (Al Kahf, 49).

The best way to respond to the craziness and negativity that we see around us is to transform it – by doing something good! Bring mercy, peace, love and understanding to someone – anyone for that matter.

“The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and thee there was enmity (will become) as though he was a bosom friend” (41:34).

If we all were to focus on these small things, in time, insha-Allah we would see things begin to transform for the better. We are all capable of doing good and bringing goodness into the world, we just have to do it. It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering change either. Remember what Rasulullah (SAW) told us about the importance of small deeds:

'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) did not observe fast in any month of the year more than in the month of Sha'ban, and used to say: “Do as many deeds as you are capable of doing, for Allah will not become weary (of giving you reward), but you would be tired (of doing good deeds); and he also said: The deed liked most by Allah is one to which the doer adheres constantly even if it is small.” (Muslim, Book 006, Number 2582)

Narrated Abu Hurayrah: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “A man never did a good deed but removed a thorny branch from the road; it was either in the tree and someone cut it and threw it on the road, or it was lying in it, he removed it. Allah accepted this good deed of his and brought him into Paradise.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 41, Number 5225)

There are many great scholars who have written on this subject. Here are a few good sources for more knowledge and information:

http://www.surrenderworks.com/library/approach/index.html

http://www.crescentlife.com/spirituality/rumi


I hope this helps your son in some small way.

Nothingness and the Void

Love is the flame which, when it blazes,
consumes everything other than the Beloved.
The lover wields the sword of Nothingness
in order to dispatch all but God:
consider what remains after Nothing.
There remains but God: all the rest is gone.
Praise to you, O mighty Love, destroyer of all other "gods."

-Rumi, Mathnawi [V, 588-590]

I love this piece by Rumi, for it speaks so much to the contemporary world where so many of us spend our days and nights trying to fill ourselves with 'stuff'. We use music, entertainment, work, family, and endless mental chatter to fill that spiritual void we feel inside. What we fail to realize is that the more we try to fill that void with worldliness, the deeper the void grows. Its a temporary salve that fails to reach the goal, and in fact, only increases our attachment to the temporal. What Rumi is saying (at least to me) is that 'la ilaha illallah' becomes truly actualized only when we arrive at a state of total peace with nothingness, for it is in nothingness that everything -- every possible distraction, including even our own thoughts - is stripped away. Only presence remains and only then does God reign supreme in our hearts. Rather than trying to fill the inner void with more 'stuff', we should seek surrender and peace with it -- sit with it, if you will, and learn to just be.

Islam - Religion of Peace

Renewing peace between two aggrieved parties surpasses ritual praying, fasting, and almsgiving.

-Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Darda'a

Be Ready to Receive Light...

If you wish for light, be ready to receive light.
Nourish your ego and be deprived of light.
If you wish to find a way out of this prison,
do not turn away;
bow down in worship and draw near.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

Allah Enjoins...

Allah enjoins justice and kindness, and in giving alms to kinsfolk,
He forbids indecency and abomination and oppression.
He exhorts you that you may take heed.

-Qur'an, An-Nahl, Surah 16:90

On Materialism.... Our Number One Ailment Today?

We are always asked and instructed to choose eternity over temporal matter, the short-term and the earthly engagements that we cling to so heavily. Yet, because of our doubt, suspicion, fear, and willful ego attachments, we get stuck and lose our perspective. We cling heavily to the earth. Over and over again, we slam head-first, like a head-on collision, into the earth (materialism). We mistakenly thought that the earthly things that we cling to would give us comfort. Indeed they don't! There is never enough money for us here. There is never enough beauty for us here. There's never enough food, pleasure, partners, power or years to be alive.

In spite of feeling grateful, truly thankful, for life, family, beauty and for our time on earth, our limitless longing is never completely satisfied by things. Our limitless longing, infinite desire, always has us wanting more. As Baba Anandamurti has perfectly stated, "There exists in the living being a thirst for limitlessness." That thirst is unlimited; therefore, limited things cannot quench it. So why do we cling so heavily to the earth? What is wrong with us? If we truly believe ... then what is wrong with us? Do we still prefer the life of this world to the hereafter, even after it has been proven within the scope of our own lives that the attachments that we have formed, and our willful nature, do not provide us comfort? Our willful nature does not satisfy human longing, but our willing nature will, both for ourselves as well as for those to whom we willingly give.

"How can you reject the faith in Allah? Seeing that you were without life and Allah gave you life, then will Allah cause you to die and will again bring you to life. And again to Allah will you return. It is Allah who has created for you all things that are on the earth. Moreover Allah's design comprehended the heavens for Allah gave the order and perfection to the seven firmaments. And of all things Allah has perfect knowledge." SURAH AL-BAQARA, 2:28-29

-Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi

Seek the Essence, Not the Structure

Little by little God takes beauty away.
Little by little life's luster decays.
Listen to the passage, "To whom We grant a long life, those We cause to decline."
Seek the essence and not the structure.
The beauty of heart shall forever abide, for it is enriched with the water of life.

- Rumi, "Mathnawi"


In my view, what ails us today is this inability or lack of desire to discriminate between essence and form. We strive and strive and strive for those things that are real only to our senses and thus only real to this world, yet have no care to know what those objects represent. We are cutoff from Reality because we cannot see beyond the surface of things. We spend our days and nights killing ourselves for titles, fortune and status and have the nerve to claim that we are doing so 'for the glory of the Ummah.' What rubbish! We are blind to the Real because we do not seek the essence, the truth, the real meaning behind the appearances. We hide behind appearances of piety while our hearts are empty of true love. The things of this world are mere representations, yet we remain fixated on their physical value and worth. How can we ever claim to know God who is Himself unseen if we lack the desire and ability to see beyond the outer appearances of things? How can we truly be worshipping God if we do not know Him out of our lack of desire to go beyond the surface and find the deeper meaning of what He Creates? Seeking the world is seeking the world. There is no way to gift wrap it and make it something it is not, which is a heart that is filled with other than God.

Do Not Burden Others, Be Burdened By Them

"Do not burden people according to your own pleasure, but burden yourselves according to their pleasures so long as they do not violate the Shari'a."

- Imam Al-Ghazali, Ayyuha l-Walad, 131

Trying to be Godly or Like God?

Sometimes servants of God try to behave like the Lord, without a doubt.
Sometimes servants of God behave like servants.
When they behave like servants, they are truly like the Lord.
When they behave like the Lord, they are in a sorry condition.

- Ibn Arabi, "Fusus al-hikam"

The Creatures as Veils

God made the creatures as veils.
He who knows them as such is led back to Him,
but he who takes them as real is barred from His presence.

~ Ibn al-Arabi

Poverty

Poverty is not complete until one likes giving more than receiving.

-Abu Hafs Haddad in "'Attar: Tadhkirat"

Submit Before the Will of God

If you are destined for good fortune you will be blessed;
if afflictions have been ordained, no matter where you hide they will seek you out.
Submit therefore before the will of God;
be grateful in well-being and endure adversity with fortitude that His light may radiate within your being.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, Futhul Ghaib

Practice Patience

Practice patience; it is the essence of praise.
Have patience, for that is true worship.
No other worship is worth as much.
Have patience; patience is the key to all relief.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

How Allah Keeps us Attracted to Him....

Since Allah (God) wants us to know him in all his Majesty and Glory, He continues to create interesting puzzles to attract us to Him. For the architect, architecture, for the psychologist psychology, and for the healer, the Oneness of ALL with God...

- Ali Ansari

What We Do With Every Moment Determines Our Identity

It’s not about who you are, i.e. your identity, but rather whether you are truly conscious every moment. For the one who is preoccupied with trying to be someone or something cannot be truly conscious, for his or her mind is being used for the remembrance of self rather than God.

The Path to God through Prayer

Prayer is an instrument through which novices find their path to God.
Thus ablution symbolizes repentance;
the Qibla, a spiritual guide;
standing in prayer becomes self-mortification;
the recitation of the Qur’an, inner meditation;
bowing the head, humility;
prostration, self-knowledge;
profession of faith, intimacy;
and salutation becomes detachment from the world and bondage of stations.

-Al-Hujwiri, “The Kashf al-Mahjub”

Adversity is the Threshold to Freedom

Do not be ruled by lust; seek freedom by following the righteous.
Mere claims of piety will not earn you inner freedom.
Remain patient in adversity to attain peace, for adversity is the threshold to freedom.
Those who cannot persevere are held back from the doors of Mercy.

- Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani

God is the Real Provider

Do not seek sustenance from people.
God is the real Provider.
If He wills a certain person to be the means of your livelihood, do not consider that person to be in control of your destiny.
Have faith and be certain in the knowledge that your daily bread does not depend upon any mortal, but upon God who created all.

- Al-Hajwiri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

Healing Children....

Forcing the issue! (As children) we won't manifest (our best) as long as there is something else on our minds. And what's always on our minds? At the root of it is the dilemma of the need for self-justification, arising from an unwanted and unconscious compulsion to please our parents or to try to escape from pleasing our parents. So to that I say this. This attempt to please our parents is the root of all neuroses. It is our search for unconditional love. But even after we've found unconditional love it's hard for us to release our neurosis, our neurotic searching. Putting our neuroses back where they came from is integral to self healing. Children can never please their parents, it's impossible and they shouldn't have to. Parents must be pleased with their children, which means they must first be pleased with themselves. If they are not (and how many do you know that are?), they look to be pleased and project their need to be pleased onto their children. In effect, they put their children in the position of needing to please them - which can never be done because they cannot be pleased if they are not already. But if children can negotitate the shift from pleasing their parents to healing them, they can set themselves free and gain the approval they're looking for.

- Ali Ansari

Perfection on the Inside

When you purify your hearts just as you purify your raiment, union with God will follow.
You cannot become a Sufi by merely wearing coarse woolen shirts and following strict ritual, pretending to be pious while inside your hearts you bear malice and avarice.
A real Sufi has attained a state of perfection on the inside.
If you sincerely seek union with God, then seek Him inside your hearts and leave the world alone.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, “Fayuz E Yazdani”

Two Instruments

If you devote yourself to God in this world,
He will admit you among His chosen servants in the hereafter.
Such devotion, however, demands sacrifice and self-denial, the two instruments that make union with God possible.

-Al-Hujwiri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

The Night is Gone....

Lord, the night is gone.
The dawn has lighted the sky.
How I long to know if You accepted or rejected my prayers.
Comfort me, Lord, for only you can comfort this state of mine.
You gave me life and nurtured me; Yours is all the praise.
If You would ever drive me away from Your door, I would never abandon it for the sake of Your love, which I carry in my heart.

-Rabi'a, "Rabi'a the Mystic"

How Transcendent and Immaculate is Allah

How transcendent and immaculate is God!
He has neither place, nor time, nor beginning, nor temporal continuity, nor posterior eternity, nor temporal priority, nor terminal end, and yet all the while, He is neither occupied with, nor seeks succor from, that which He has brought into being.
Nonetheless, He is just in all affairs wherein His commandments are issued to people.

- Shibli in Sarraj Tusi: "Kitab al-luma"

The Good Muslim Syndrome

Being a cyber counselor for the Muslim community, I feel it is time to say something about what I like to call the Good Muslim Syndrome.

My latest question has to do with a brother married to a Christian woman, who is starting to feel that he needs to divorce his wife because of the fear that when he takes her back to his home (Muslim) country, he fears that 'his people' will not accept her (and him, ostensibly) and scold him for not being 'a good Muslim.' Mind you there is nothing wrong with this wife and even he admits that though Christian, she is in many ways a "better Muslim" than him. She is even gaining an increasing interest in Islam and is more than willing to raise their children as Muslims.

The point of the story is that this young man is ready to divorce a very kind and pious woman, without due cause, out of his fear of not being seen by others as a "good Muslim."

The problem with this whole 'good Muslim' thing is that - as in the example above - it usually refers to how we want others to perceive us, rather than who we really are. It actually has little to do with how Allah sees us, or how we wish to be in His eyes, or how much we yearn to know our Lord. In essence, the good Muslim is the one that - similar to a five year old boy - is trying to make himself out to be good - to be seen - to win his father's love and adoration. However, Allah is not a human father. He is the Creator. He created all of us and everything else and continues to do so unceasingly every moment of every day of existence. He created us on something called fitra and it is only because of our ignorance, heedlessness and forgetfulness of Him that we live not in accordance with that fitra, i.e. outside the state of pure surrender to Him. The "good Muslim," in fact, is the essence of every single one of us, it is our pure and original state. That, and only that, is the good Muslim. Therefore, the only thing we need to try to do is to live in remembrance of that pure state and to STAY THERE. This means living for Allah, acting for Allah, and doing for Allah, not for others and for how others might label us.

The "Good Muslim" is a farce. The Good Muslim is actually Catholic by implying that we are born in sin and only by 'being good' can we be saved. Nay! We are Muslims, not Christians! There is no work to do other than the work that allows us to be our true selves, to live according to that pure self, that original state of fitra. However, by trying to be 'good Muslims' we end up wearing masks which are by nature, false. Rather than purifying the self and returning to our true selves, we end up piling more falsehood on our hearts and actually end up further away from truth than closer to it. These masks that we wear are nothing more than persona, an act, a pretending to be something for others which is not actually who we really are. But Allah knows our hidden truth. He knows who, in fact, we are trying to please through our behaviors and our "personality."

There is no such thing, in fact, as a Good Muslim. We are either in a state of Islam or we are not. As such, we are either Muslims or we are something else. The work is to learn and live to serve and please Allah, and by doing so, by discovering who we truly are and what greatness lies within. And most importantly, to do this not for anyone else's sake but His.

Ramadan in Kuwait

Ramadan in Kuwait

by Sami Alrabaa

Muslims and Christians have something in common. Amazed? Carry on reading. Both are secularizing their religious festivities. The Christians are secularizing Christmas and Muslims are secularizing their Ramadan. How?

Three months before Christmas, the German markets, for example, are loaded Christmas confections. Stollen and ginger biscuits are for sale everywhere. Many people are already in search of Christmas presents for their loved ones. The closer Christmas is, the more hectic people get. Marlies says, “I really don’t know what to give my son and husband for Christmas. It is so difficult to find the right present. They have got everything.” She is now shopping for ideas. Her son and husband are doing the same.

Christmas, which marks the birth of a Prophet, Jesus Christ, who was sent by God to spread peace, mercy, and justice, is reduced to commerce, to tediously looking for suitable gifts for loved ones. The majority of Christians have forgotten the original meaning of Christmas and simply changed it into a mundane commercial practice. Many of those Christians who go to the church pray like parrots. They recite the message of Christ without pondering on its deep meaning. Maybe only the poor among Christians pray genuinely and find in Christ’s message a consolation in their miserable situation. They hope that on the Day of Judgment they would be rewarded for their endurance of hardship and deprivation. The well-off Christians have completely forgotten about Christ’s message. They are busy trying to live paradise on earth.

How about Muslims? They are not better off. The simple message of the fasting month is also ignored. In fact, fasting is a commandment that reminds us of how it feels to starve, how the poor live. At least once a year, Muslims are called upon to live like the poor, at least in terms of food. The majority of us Muslims act completely against the message of Ramadan. We have reduced Ramadan to a food festival, to a food fair. The amount of food consumed during Ramadan in most Muslim countries is doubled. We focus on food. We prepare and eat the most delicious, the richest and most conspicuous dishes. On top of that we work less and sleep most of the time. Especially in the affluent Arab Gulf countries, government employees in particular, go to work around 9 in the morning. Around noon they leave under the pretext, they would pray. They go home and sleep until fasting-break time. Someone who stuffs his stomach with all kinds of rich food, cannot feel hungry from Fajer (dawn) to noon. In other words, the majority fast for 4-5 hours. Hence no opportunity is left to feel how the poor feel around the year.

By the way, and because of overeating and lack of exercise, the number of stomach diseases and other diseases, especially diabetes, sky-rocket. Dr. Salem at Al Sabah Hospital says, “In Ramadan, people dump in their stomachs all kinds of food in tremendous quantities."
In addition, how many Muslims ponder over the rest of Ramadan message like have mercy on the poor, love your fellow humans, do not be selfish, act justly, etc.? It is in reality very small. Other than over-eating, very few principles of the message of Ramadan are observed despite warnings by preachers and physicians not to spend the holy month only overeating and sleeping. But who listens?

But of course, everybody is happy, it is Ramadan, certainly, very often, not for religious reasons. Students get shorter class schedules and government employees (90% of the Kuwaiti labour force) work fewer hours. Shortcomings and laziness are blamed on “fasting”.

The poor in Kuwait, largely expatriates, whether Muslims or otherwise, welcome Ramadan most. It is their sole opportunity to eat a decent meal over a whole month once a year. These meals are offered for free by charity organizations.

At the end of the day, who is the winner before Christmas and during Ramadan? Certainly manufacturers, producers, and traders. They enjoy huge amounts of profit over these “religious” festivities.

Losers are both Muslims and Christians. Christians reach Christmas stressed out and exhausted by their search for gifts and Muslims get sick and produce less. The spiritual aspects of their festivities are simply undermined. It is a pity!

Simple Deeds Worthy of Paradise

I saw a man in Paradise for a deed as simple as cutting down a tree that stood in the middle of a road, causing wayfarers much distress.

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Ibn Umar

Patience in Adversity....

Do not lose hope in Allah, for He is the Creator.
He will create another way for you.
Do not flee from your trials; patience in adversity is the foundation of all virtue, of compassion and sainthood.
Patience is the foundation, and without a sound foundation you cannot build a monument.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"

Discernment

The outward form of things passes away, but the essence remains forever.
How long will you be besotted with the shape of the jug?
Cast aside the jug, and seek the water.
If you look too closely at the form, you miss the essence.
If you are wise, you will always pick out the pearl from the shell.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

The Religion is Easy....

This religion is easy. Do not make it a rigor, or you shall be overcome. Be steadfast, seek the closeness of Allah, grow in virtue, and implore His appeasement day and night.

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Hurairah

Silence is Golden

The rank of a man of silence is better than divine service for sixty years.

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by 'Imran bin Hussain

7 Common Mistakes Made in Prayer

7 Common Mistakes We Make in our Prayers

Listed below are the 7 Common mistakes we often make in prayer:

Mistake 1: Reciting Surat al-Fatiha fast without pausing after each verse.
The Prophet (SAW) used to pause after each verse of this surah. (Abu Dawood)

Mistake 2: Sticking the arms to the sides of the body, in rukoo' or sujood, and sticking the belly to the thighs in sujood.
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: "Let not one of you support himself on his forearms (in sujood) like the dog. Let him rest on his palms and keep his elbows away from his body." (Sahih Muslim) . The Messenger of Allah (SAW) used to keep his arms away from his body during rukoo' and sujood that the whiteness of his armpits could be seen (Sahih Muslim).

Mistake 3: Gazing upward during prayer.
This may cause loss of concentration. We are commanded to lower our gaze, and look at the point at which the head rests during sujood. The Prophet (SAW) warned: "Let those who raise their gaze up during prayer stop doing so, or else their sights would not return to them. i.e. lose their eyesight]." (Muslim)

Mistake 4 : Resting only the tip of the head on the floor during sujood.
The Prophet (SAW) said: "I am commanded to prostrate on seven bones the forehead and the nose, the two hands [palms], the two knees, and the two feet." (Sahih Muslim) Applying the above command necessitates resting the forehead and the nose on the ground during sujood.

Mistake 5 : Hasty performance of prayer which does not allow repose and calmness in rukoo' or sujood.
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) saw a man who did not complete his rukoo' [bowing], and made a very short sujood [prostration] ; he (SAW) said: "If this man dies while praying in this manner, he would die upholding a religion other than the religion of Muhammad." Abu Hurairah (RA) said: "My beloved friend, Muhammad (SAW) forbade me to perform postures of prayer copying the picking of a rooster; (signifying fast performance of prayer), moving eyes around like a fox and the sitting like monkeys ( i.e. to sit on thighs)." (Imam Ahmad & at-Tayalisi) The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: " The worst thief is the one who steals from his own prayer." People asked, 'Messenger of Allah! How could one steal from his own prayer?' He (SAW) said: "By not completing its rukoo' and sujood." (At Tabarani & al-Hakim).To complete rukoo' is to stay in that posture long enough to recite 'Subhana rabbiyal Adtheem' three times, SLOWLY, and 'Subhana rabbiyal-a'ala' three times, SLOWLY, in sujood. He (SAW) also announced: "He who does not complete his rukoo' and sujood, his prayer is void." (Abu Dawood & others)

Mistake 6 : Counting tasbeeh with the left hand.
The Prophet (SAW) used to count tasbeeh on the fingers of his right hand after salah. Ibn Qudamah (RA) said: " The Messenger of Allah (SAW) used his right hand for tasbeeh." (Abu Dawood). The above hadeeth indicates clearly that the Prophet (SAW) used only one hand for counting tasbeeh. No Muslim with sound mind would imagine that the Prophet (SAW) used his left hand for counting tasbeeh. Aa'ishah (RA) said that the Prophet (SAW) used his left hand only for Istinjaa', or cleaning himself after responding to the call of nature. He never used it for tasbeeh. Yasirah (RA) reported: The Prophet (SAW) commanded women to count tasbeeh on their fingers. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: "They (the fingers) will be made to speak, and will be questioned (on the Day of Resurrection. )" (At-Tirmidhi) .. The above Hadeeth indicates that it is preferable to count tasbeeh on the fingers of the right hand than to do so on masbahah (rosary).

Mistake 7 : Crossing in front of a praying person.
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) warned: "Were the one who crosses in front of a praying person to know the consequences of doing so, he would have waited for *forty better than to cross in front of him." (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim). *The forty in the tradition may be days months or even years. Allah knows best. Common Errors in Prayer That MUST Be Avoided - Please inform your near and dear ones to take care of the above.

Declining a Visit: Islamic Adab

Declining a Visit

If one visits a friend, with or without an appointment and they apologise for not being able to receive you accept their apology without any ill feelings. You should understand that something may have come up for them to decline your visit. Their previous plans, or state of their house, may have made your visit inconvenient. Similarly one should cancel an appointment (in whatever capacity this may be) if one is aware of not being able to attend. This adab is important as it removes any ill feelings that may otherwise linger due to declination. Those that do not decline, or cancel a visit may in turn end up disgracing themselves. It is hence important to fulfil promises and keep appointments and if we are declined, not to hold a grudge.

Allah says:
فَإِن لَّمْ تَجِدُوا فِيهَا أَحَدًا فَلَا تَدْخُلُوهَا حَتَّى يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ وَإِن قِيلَ لَكُمُ ارْجِعُوا فَارْجِعُوا هُوَ أَزْكَى لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ عَلِيمٌ

"If ye find no one in the house, enter not until permission is given to you: if ye are asked to go back, go back: that makes for greater purity for yourselves: and Allah knows well all that ye do."
(Quran 24:28)

Many don’t know how to act in such circumstances where a guest arrives and it is not convenient for them to be received. Often people resort to lying, but not only do children learn from this behaviour, but it may lead to further problems. Lying promotes enmity and hatred and displays the signs of the munafiq. Don’t clearly and blatently lie about your presence. Declination of a visit does not require explanation, as not everybody is able to express such reasons. There is hence great importance on not holding a grudge but reflecting on the abover ayah from the Quran. Too much time is spent and wasted today in persuit of minor issues and disputes.

The Tabi’i Qatada ibn Di’ama al-Sudusi said, “Do not hang around the door of those who decline to recieve your visit. Accept their reason, move on to attend to your business, and let them attend to theirs”.

One should not ask for a reason or an explanation as Imam Malik (رحمة الله عليه) used to say;
“Not all people can disclose their excuses”

The one visiting should seek permission by saying; “You’re not busy are you” or “Perhaps you’re busy and can’t receive us” to make the hosts feel at ease. One should always remember even in telephone calls to seek permission to take that persons time, removing any ill feelings if declined. It is important adab not to make it difficult for someone to decline, as that in turn may cause some harm to them or their situation.

Imam al-Tabari in his Tafsir reported that a man of the Muhajirin said, “All my life, I wanted to practice this verse :If ye find no one in the house, enter not until permission is given to you: if ye are asked to go back, go back: that makes for greater purity for yourselves: and Allah knows well all that ye do.” (Quran 24:28), but I could not. I was hoping I would seek permission to visit a brother and he would tell me to ‘Go back!’ I would gladly have left, thus fulfilling the commandment of Allah”

SUMMARY:1. If you can’t make an appointment, cancel it.2. If something comes up, decline your visitor, and tell him to return; but don’t lie!3. If you are declined, don’t hold a grudge.4. Strive to be frank, true, brave, generous by following the example of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and His companions, wherever possible.

Worship is like a work of art...

Worship is like a work of art mastered only by the sincere, the learned scholars who practice what they know, who live and walk among people like everyone else, but in their hearts they seek freedom in the serenity of the wilderness.
Because of this yearning they continue to grow until their spirits soar and become united with the numinous.
About such God says, "Indeed they are the finest of human beings, cherished by us."

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"

The Highest Stage of Worship

The truest and highest stage of worship is to see God face to face, and to receive his guidance from his own mouth.
Those who attain this highest stage, choose for themselves whatever God chooses for them. Their entire characters are transformed by God.
They are God's friends; so they no longer discriminate between people, but regard all people as friends.
Wherever they go, they go from God; wherever they arrive, they arrive at God.
Whatever they do, they do for God; whatever service they perform, they perform it in God.
The self has been truly annihilated.

- Junayd, "Tawhid"

Islam is an Easy Religion

I am often troubled by the Muslim that believes, and even pushes, other Muslims into thinking that to be a 'good' Muslim, one must participate in any (or all) or the X number of "Islamic" organizations out there, and if one chooses not to, then somehow we are not being supportive of Islam or are even letting down our ummah by not doing so.

To these people I say beware. I say beware because in truth Islam is a simple religion. It is not a religion of grandiose political movements. It is a religion of faith and doing simple good deeds, first and foremost with and for those who are closest to you and then others if you have the ability to do so. It is not about making your brothers and sisters feel guilty for not being as "Islamic" as you.

From Sahih Muslim: Abu Huraira narrates that the Prophet (sas) said: "Who began this day fasting?" Abu Bakr said: "I did." The Prophet (sas) said: "Who participated in a funeral procession today?" Abu Bakr said: "I did." The Prophet (sas) said: "Who fed a needy person today?" Abu Bakr said: "I did." The Prophet (sas) said: "Who visited a sick person today?" Abu Bakr said: "I did." Then, the Prophet (sas) said: "These things cannot all meed in a single person but that they will enter Paradise."

This is just one example among hundreds of how Islam is a deen of substance and essence and not superficiality and grandeur. Seemingly simple deeds such as feeding someone, attending a funeral, attending a wedding, helping someone in some small way, when done with a sincere heart are certainly Islamic and naturally loved by Allah.

Ramadan should be a time of refocusing our energies and spirit on the essence of what matters most, which is striving for, to and in Allah, through sincere worship and good deeds. Let us all (and I remind myself of this first!) remember that the seemingly most simple or basic of deeds can be among the most highly beloved to Allah. We are not here to play God by judging others for what we see on the outside, but to focus our time and energy on our Selves -- their purification, improvement and enlightenment.

For how can unity be achieved accept through the acceptance of each other's sincere efforts, even if they be of a different nature than our own?

May this very special month fill our hearts with love, mercy and gratitude.

To be honored with membership in the community of Allah's Beloved,
To be honored with witnessing this month of mercy and forgiveness,
To be honored with invitation into the Presence of the One five times per day,
To be honored with the desire to do good unto others,
To be honored with a religion called 'peaceful surrender',
To be honored with friends and companions who share this special bond...

Thank you Allah, thank you Allah, thank you Allah....

Prayer

Prayer is that which enables the soul to realize its divinity.
Through prayer human beings worship absolute truth, and seek an eternal reward.
Prayer is the foundation-stone of religion; and religion is the means by which the soul is purified of all that pollutes it.
Prayer is the worship of the first cause of all things, the supreme ruler of all the world, the source of all strength.
Prayer is the adoration of the one whose being is necessary.

-Ibn Sina, “Kitab al-Najat”

Nothing Resembles its Consequences

Human beings are created from the dust of the earth; but do they resemble dust?
Grapes come from vines; but do grapes look like vines?
Does theft have the same shape as gallows?
Does piety resemble eternal life?
Nothing resembles its consequences. So the root of pain and torment is not evil.

- Rumi, "Mathnawi"

Welcome Back to Islam...

An amazing story for all of us to learn from....

http://www.welcome-back.org/profile/aminah1.shtml

Once the ego is overcome peace follows...

Once the ego is overcome peace follows.
"Only God and no living creature has the power to control destinies."
With that conviction entrust all your cares to the Lord and follow the path of the Truth, conforming to the divine edicts, until you attain union with Him and become as pure as Adam before whom all creatures prostrated.

- Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"

Ultimate Bliss

Once a person said to a dervish, "All I ask for is a small dwelling in Paradise."

The dervish replied, "If you displayed the same contentment with what you already have in this world, you would have found ultimate bliss."

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"

The Divine Wisdom in Melancholy

Melancholy may enter your soul, and ambush your happiness; but it will prepare you for true joy.
Melancholy drives out all other emotions and feelings, so the source of all goodness may occupy the whole house.
It shakes the yellow leaves from the tree, allowing fresh leaves to grow.
It pulls up old bodily pleasures by the roots, allowing divine spiritual pleasures to be planted. Melancholy takes many things from the soul, in order to bring better things in return.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

Using Your Gift

You are given your Divine Name, which God has always known. It is always a manifestation of a Divine Quality in you. You are encouraged to use it, thereby inviting others use it and feel its quality, which surrounds you (and them) with the light of its reality, and dispels illusion (at least for a moment).

- Ali Ansari

Gluttony

Gluttony feeds on itself. The more that the appetite is indulged, the stronger it becomes - and the harder it is to control. But if the appetite is restrained, then it soon grows weak and feeble, and finally disappears altogether.

-Razi, "Kitab al-Muluki"

Al-Ghazali on the Knowledge of Allah

Not only are man's attributes a reflection of Allah's attributes, but the mode of existence of man's soul affords some insight into Allah's mode of existence. That is to say, both Allah and the soul are invisible, indivisible, unconfined by space and time, and outside the categories of quantity and quality; nor can the ideas of shape, colour, or size attach to them. People find it hard to form a conception of such realities as are devoid of quality and quantity, etc., but a similar difficulty attaches to the conception of our everyday feelings, such as anger, pain, pleasure, or love. They are thought-concepts, and cannot be cognised by the senses; whereas quality, quantity, etc., are sense-concepts. Just as the ear cannot take cognisance of colour, nor the eye of sound, so, in conceiving of the ultimate realities, Allah and the soul, we find ourselves in a region in which sense-concepts can bear no part. So much, however, we can see, that, as Allah is Ruler of the universe, and, being Himself beyond space and time, quantity and quality, governs things that are so conditioned, so that soul rules the body and its members, being itself invisible, indivisible, and unlocated in any special part. For how can the indivisible be located in that which is divisible? From all this we see how true is the saying of the Prophet, "Allah created man in His own likeness."

- Al-Ghazali, "The Alchemy of Happiness"

Gentleness

He who is deprived of gentleness is deprived of good.

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

Parents: How Aware Are We?

PARENTING IN THE 21ST CENTURY
How Aware Are We?
by Greg Wendt

Sometimes I wonder how I knew anything about life before I had children. They teach me everything that is important. Buckminster Fuller was right when he said we underestimate children. Perhaps hundreds of years from now, in some future society, adults will look to the innocence and truthfulness of children as a model to live by.

Young children do a number of things very well, and far better than do adults. For instance, children make friends very easily. They approach life with openness and trust; that is, until the harsh realities of the world adults created shatter their feeling of safety. Their hearts are open to new experiences and people. Seeing someone their own age fills them with excitement and anticipation. An unlimited potential for joy and fun awaits them through every new encounter. Sure, there can be shyness, reservation and fear, but these barriers usually fall away quickly and children find a way to bond almost instantly.

For adults, this is not so easy. We have been taught to mistrust, to be guarded, to be afraid of strangers, to be wary of people we don't know-especially if they are different. Children do not perceive these barriers. They crave relationship, just as we do. But they don't hide this desire with layers of impenetrable psychological armor. At least not until they are taught to do so. Sadly, not-so-young children are learning to hide behind internet connections, seeking so-called friends on MySpace and the like. Innocence doesn't need MySpace. Innocence is a magnet for true relationship.

Another thing children do far better than adults is generate their own fun and entertainment. With their vivid imaginations and an inner drive to explore, experience and create, children turn virtually any environment into their unique play-world.

Sand is transformed into castles, puddles become oceans, blank sheets of paper are filled with color. They don't need much, because they have a rich fountain of creativity at their disposal. That is, unless we adults expose them to that which clogs up the fountain.

As 21st century parents, we grew up experiencing the beginnings of the modern, ultra-commercial-ized society in which advertising began to explode, including commercials aimed directly at children. If we watched much television, and most of us did, we were taught early on that happiness comes from acquiring lots of cool things and going to lots of fun places. In other words, we were pulled out of our limitless imagination and placed in a box where only the right toy, candy, movie, or theme park could make us happy. We became shackled by these illusions and unhappy when we couldn't fulfill them; and we were too young to understand what was happening to us.

Now, in the blink of an eye, we are adults with children of our own. Consciously and unconsciously we are passing our beliefs, ideologies and habits onto them. Have we examined the forces that shaped our outlook on life? Do our decisions reflect what is healthy for our children, or have we unconsciously bought into the status quo of mass entertainment, sugar-laced foods, and over-stimulation of the senses?

These questions are worth examining. Children have one short opportunity to be children. Every day is precious and important to their healthy development. We must be conscious and vigilant about what and how we expose the world to them. There are many seemingly benign forces in the every-day world that are not at all friendly to children. Likewise there are hidden opportunities for positive growth that we may not be aware of. It is up to us to be awake and to know the difference.

Those Who Fear Allah Flee to Him

Fear is like a candle whose flame helps a person distinguish goodness from evil;
and fear of God allows a person to turn away from evil.
Those who fear mere creatures flee from them;
but those who fear God flee to Him.

-Rabi'a, in "Rabi'a the Mystic"

Peace or Freedom: Must we Choose Between Them?

Abdul-Lateef Abdullah

"Peace alone is not enough. Peace can even mean slavery sometimes. Peace and freedom is what we have to have."
- Casper Weinberger, former U.S. Secretary of Defense

The above quote by the late Casper Weinberger says a lot about what many people believe peace to mean, which is nothing more than external order or simply the absence of physical hostility and war. There is a growing perception that Muslims are monolithically in favor of such a dictatorial notion of peace, where people have very little freedom. Media coverage of masked Middle East protestors carrying placards reading “Freedom Go To Hell” and similar images paint a picture of a people and religion that is hostile to the notion of human freedom. But is this really the case about Islam? How does the Islamic worldview make sense of these seemingly opposing concepts?

What is the Meaning of Peace in Islam?
Have you ever seen the lightness of heart of the innocent child at play? How about that famous scene from the Oscar-nominated film ‘A Beautiful Life’, where after being imprisoned in a Nazi work camp, the father tries to hide the horrible truth from his son by pretending that their captivity is a big life-size game where the other prisoners and guards are all actors. The boy is led to believe that the winner of the game is the one who plays along for the longest period of time. The child’s innocence allows him to believe that it is in fact merely a game and so he willfully plays along, not realizing the truthful horror of the situation. The innocent child is a perfect example of the type of freedom that results from a heart at peace. From a heart at peace, freedom is the child’s only reality.

“…Every time you are able to clear your mind of preoccupations you return to being a child. This is why Jesus said, ‘You will not enter The Dominion until you return and become like children,' that is until you have no preoccupations except with God. This is the idea of continuous childhood, this is the idea of the returning to purity…” - Dr. Asad Ali

Peace in Islam is arrived at in the same manner, i.e. through a peaceful heart. The entire life of Islam – both the outward and inward – is geared towards this one goal – a heart at peace with the Ultimate Reality; with its Lord and His will. The heart at peace is by definition, free, and knows a freedom beyond words. It is a freedom that is not limited by physical space, poverty, or destitution, for it is a state of inner being that is not predicated on its outer, temporary predicament.

Through the lens of the heart many people in the world are not free -- even those in ‘free’ countries – for such people are often imprisoned not by political or legal restrictions, but by attachments and what lies in the dark recesses of the heart. Most of us are not truly free because our hearts are chained to worldliness; thus, we are at the mercy of our appetites and surroundings even if those surroundings include democracy, free markets and material prosperity.

Peace in Islam is inseparable from freedom, for true freedom is a product of real peace. While not everyone who is free is at peace, anyone who has tasted true peace is, while in that state, free. For true peace is liberation from the terror and hostility that first exists in our minds and hearts. Peace means the end of struggle and begins within rather than without. The greater ‘jihad’ in Islam is understood as the struggle to end struggle. It is the greater struggle to free ourselves from that which prevents us from truly being ourselves, namely, our ego/nafs and its worldly desires and fears. Can anyone honestly claim that anyone who lives their lives in utter enslavement to the need to look a certain way, maintain a certain image, achieve a certain social or economic status, have certain things, think a certain way, drive a certain kind of car, watch certain TV shows, or buy certain things is really free? This is not freedom; rather, it is naught but slavery to the lower self -- that part of us that wants and wants and wants endlessly; that tricks us into thinking that when we finally get X, Y and Z, then we’ll have peace. It’s the great illusion that has existed since the beginning of time; nevertheless, much of humanity continues to remain perfectly (dis)content living this illusion of ‘peace’ resulting from ‘freedom’.

We all Seek the Same Thing
In truth, everyone is ultimately seeking peace and happiness – perfect contentment; heaven, nirvana, whatever you want to call it. The miser, the criminal, the saint, the rebel -- everyone is in essence after the same thing. We are all trying to reach a state that will allow us to simply be ‘at peace’. But what does this really mean? It means none other than the complete elimination of desires. What else would you be if you had absolutely no desires other than perfectly content, i.e. in perfect peace? A place where there is no room for desire, for the beast within has been tamed.

When we seek to fulfill the desires of the lower selves we give in to the illusion that the ego has created for us, but actually it is only the animal aspect of ourselves that has been temporarily subdued. But that aspect of ourselves is a trickster; however, not a malicious one, for if not for the ego and its attachments we would never seek the Divine and yearn for that perfect state of peace – true peace resulting from contentment in God. Thus there would be no reason or need for worship, for yearning, for shedding tears out of the need for intimacy with the Divine. In fact, there would be nothing but peace; no desires, no fears, no doubts, no reasons to be unjust or selfish – just perfect tranquility. Sounds like heaven.

Understanding the Self
The ego gets us thinking that having more of something will make the desire for it go away. For example, when we are hungry, we eat so that our hunger will go away. But what happens after that? In a little while, we are hungry again, and often we desire more than we wanted the first time. Only through the knowledge that eating more will not be good for us, or will make us fat, or because we cannot afford to do we discipline ourselves to maintain moderation in eating. This is the science of addiction. We indulge in something because we have a desire for it and we want to fulfill that desire, i.e. make the desire go away. Once the desire is gone, we are content, until the desire comes back stronger than before, causing us to increase our intake of what made the desire go away in the first place. This vicious circle turns into a downward spiral and ultimately has a tragic ending unless an ‘intervention’ occurs. That is why things like drugs are so addictive. They create a state that is so ‘peaceful’ that when we are taken out of that state, the desire to return to it becomes animalistic in its intensity. This is the way of the nafs, the Lower Self that is animalistic in nature.

However, there is a higher part of us that can never go away and is always dwelling in permanent peace, and that part of us is often not realized unless we are taught how to be conscious of it and live a way of life that honors it. That is the spirit/soul, the part that is but the breath of the Divine, and is the Higher Self. When we live according to what is best for this Self, then we escape the prison of endless appetite. The cycle of hunger and satiation is ended, or at least greatly reduced, controlled and understood.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed." – Author Unknown

Permanent vs. Illusory Peace
Permanent peace is that permanent state of the Higher Self, and ultimately, the true potential of all of us. The prophets and saints dwell permanently in this state and thus experience a freedom beyond words, for their hearts are free of the world and the need to have any part of it. Though they are completely human and feel pain, suffering and the like, they are content with having nothing of the world for they live in total realization of the Higher Self which is forever dwelling in the Divine Presence. Dirt and gold are the same to them. Every moment of life is a gift. They exist only to serve and to give of themselves. Their law is love of God. They ask nothing of any mortal being for their sustenance is provided directly from Allah. This is the pure human being, the potential Self realized.

The difference between these two human states is total enslavement to total freedom. The one that lives according to his base appetites will forever be imprisoned by his seeking of peace via the world (of which he will never arrive at), while the one that lives in honor of the True Self will be a slave only to the Divine, resulting in total liberation of the self from worldly attachments. The former may know peace temporarily at certain times, but that peace can never be real or lasting, for the desires of the ego will continuously ‘up the ante’ in order to be satiated. The former path is one that can only lead downward while the latter can only lead to greater heights. The ego can only be purified, dissolved, annihilated; its thirst cannot be quenched. It must be respected and forgiven, but it cannot be given the reins to rule (Ansari, 2001).

True peace and freedom begin when we fulfill our primary obligation as human beings, which is to know God as He wishes us to know Him. The beauty of this is that in knowing God and because of the nature of the way He has created us, we get to know ourselves also, and thereby obtain the keys to a deep knowing of humanity and thereby to all knowledge. It is obviously not to say that one human brain could contain all the knowledge available to humanity. But there is a key to understanding all that we need to understand in any given moment. And the cost of that key is the sacrifice of our presumptions (Ansari, 2001).


References:
Ali, A. (2005). A Visit With Dr. Asad Ali. http://www.sufism.org/society/articles/Damascus.html.

Ansari, A. (2001). On individual realization. http://surrenderworks.com/library/self/another.html.

Ecstasy

True ecstasy is passive: it overwhelms the heart without any intention or deliberate effort.
It is the fruit of spiritual devotion and worship.
The deeper is your devotion to God, and the more intense is your worship, the more likely you are to receive ecstasy from God.
In a state of ecstasy the heart is lost to God.

-Qushayri, "Risalah"

True Love

O Beloved of hearts, I beseech only You.
Have pity this day on those who turn to You.
My Hope, my Rest, my Delight,
this heart can love none other but You.

-Rabi'a, "Rabi'a the Mystic"

Addressing God

When people address God in words – in the form of intimate conversation, petition and pleading, gratitude, remorse and repentance, and so on – they are in a position of separateness from God.

When they address God directly through the heart, and when they listen to him in the heart, they are in a position of union with God.

-Qushayri, "Risalah"

Martial Arts - Self-Defense or Self-Realization?

Martial Arts for Self-Defense or Self-Realization?

Toward Resolving the Dilemma of Identity among
Contemporary Muslims:
Modeling the Way and Life of the Pendekar


By
Abdul-Lateef Abdullah


Traditional Arts of War – the Original Path and Purpose

Within the original understanding of many of the world’s traditional warrior arts, also known today as ‘martial arts’, the concept of “self-defense” is non-existent. In modern times, martial arts are taught and learned under the guise of ‘self-defense’, which connotes a purely physical exercise aimed at acquiring skills to preserve the physical body or property from external attack or threat. It is an activity taught and practiced almost entirely on the physical level. The traditional approach to warrior arts, however, regardless of their place or people of origin, is not as the defense of self but toward the actualization of Self to its true and authentic state. This path contains many stages that a student must progress through in order to achieve Self-realization. The great masters of the traditional warrior arts knew – as some still do today - that the origins and source of all war lies within the weaknesses of the human Self, and it was only by ‘becoming war’ through a life of self-purification, training and exertion, and the acquisition of authentic spiritual knowledge that the human Self could be purified and transformed into a tool for achieving and establishing real peace.

This tradition can be found in the Malay warrior arts such as Gayong, for example, an art whose philosophical and spiritual foundation is rooted in Islam and the science of tasawwuf. In this tradition, as the student increases his or her knowledge and perfection of Gayong on a physical plane, he moves simultaneously – through knowledge acquisition and spiritual striving -- toward perfecting himself on a spiritual one. As a result, as the Gayong practitioner becomes more physically capable in the martial aspects of his art, in contrast, his demeanor increases in humility, selflessness, politeness and an overall peacefulness that others notice and want for themselves. His ferocity is limited to the training sphere (gelanggang), unless in the rare case that his skills and abilities are called upon as a result of external aggression. For as the murid (disciple) increases in outward ability, inwardly, his heart moves closer to intimacy with his Lord, for he knows that all of his skills, abilities, knowledge, trials, tests and fortunes are from Him. In the process, the student gains further insight along the way as to his own true nature; its strengths, weaknesses and utter dependence on God (faqr).

The Way of the Pendekar

In time, from the deep peacefulness and God-realization emerges the authentic Self of the pendekar (traditional Malay warrior). When the authentic Self is liberated from the bonds of the lower self and its worldly attachments, the pendekar’s purpose and mission becomes manifest. The soul is then liberated and free to do the work for which it was created. Self-realization turns into complete God-dependence and intimacy, resulting in a pure and total devotion toward servanthood. The warrior, in turn, becomes a healer whose lifelong efforts turn toward healing the hearts of his fellowmen men through knowledge of God and the path of surrender to Him. The war, therefore, whose main sphere was the Self, shifts to the outward realm, where the authentic Self goes about its work of service to its Lord.

The work of achieving and abiding in the authentic Self is the way of life of the pendekar. It is not merely analogy and historical account, moreover, for such masters still exist today, though they may be difficult to come by. Those who know such people, however, know that as walis or ‘friends of God’, they bear the mark of humility. Without pretense, they go about their work without regard for titles, attention, or public regard of any kind. They eat humbly, speak humbly, act humbly and live among the people, yet at the same time remain a degree removed from them. They make no outward displays of religiosity and often times, only those who have benefited from their services or assistance even know of their spiritual gifts and stations. Quite simply, they are known only through their simple and humble behavior and service to their neighbors and fellow man. Their “identity” as masters is known only to Allah, and perhaps their families, students, fellow teachers and few others.

The pendekar, in his simple way, is essentially identity-less. He is not preoccupied with forging an identity, or of creating an image for himself, for he knows that what people think of him is Allah’s will and not his to worry about. As a true servant, he has little need for portraying himself as something. His striving is with his heart and his deeds, for his only object of desire is his Lord. He is not preoccupied with making himself known; rather, he only desires to be known by those who need his help. He would rather stay anonymous, do the work he is asked to do, and return to remembrance and worship of his Creator, his source of true joy and contentment. Though he is often called on to help others, he is never ungrateful for the inconveniences he might be forced to suffer, or the lack of compensation that his work might entail. In a word, he is grateful for whatever his Lord sends him, and whatever he receives from Him is sufficient.

The pendekar’s years of physical and spiritual striving, Self-discovery, and acquisition and application of knowledge from his masters wipe away any trace of preoccupation with status and prestige. Through his struggles he has found his true Self and knows with total conviction and clarity who and what he is. His heart is filled and fixated only on Allah, the source of everything. His identity is not formed from an ego-driven need to be known. His identity, rather, is that which he is known by, which is his usefulness to creation, purity of heart and unflinching willingness to help others without prejudice.

From the humble life of the pendekar, legends are born. Many a tradition in the Malay Archipelago exists of the walis of Allah who have lived their lives in this simple yet noble manner. Though the most humble of men, their life stories are preserved and passed down through the generations. Masters become masters because they do not seek elevation in the eyes of men. They seek Allah and because they seek Allah, He raises their rank in the eyes of men, for He has power over ALL things and takes care of His friends. The pendekar is thus loved, feared, hoped for and admired by men precisely because he makes no effort toward obtaining the admiration of human beings.

Toward an Authentic Muslim Identity: Integrating the Lessons of the Pendekar

The lessons of the pendekar and the traditional warrior arts are integral toward understanding what we truly seek in our quest for Muslim identity. In this day and age, many Muslims, particularly those living in the West, are deeply concerned with the issue of obtaining and preserving a ‘Muslim identity’. We are very concerned, it seems, with others knowing who we are, and even more importantly, our youth knowing what it means to identify as Muslims. Unlike the example of the pendekar, however, the modern-day need for an identity often equates to portraying a certain Islamic image, rather than what it means – in practice - to be human beings living in a state of surrender to the Divine. Muslim identity in the former vein focuses on form and image rather than the quality of character and actions.

Muslim identity among the spiritual elect is about behavior that is a product of God-consciousness (taqwa), rather than appearance or mimicry. Identity is not about trying to appear as anything, but about realizing what and who we truly are and being conscious of it at all times. Too often, we try to build an identity by mimicking actions based on what we have been told is ‘Muslim behavior’. This usually takes the form of our dress, our speech, and our ‘persona’. Outward displays of religiosity, however, without the inner intention and sincerity of purifying the heart are harmful rather than helpful. They build up the false Self, (i.e. the ego-personality, the nafs), which lies to us by telling us that by appearing a certain way, we will be, in fact, Muslims. In actuality, we will be doing nothing more than acting like Muslims, playing the part if you will, rather than living in a state of heart and mind-full surrender to Allah. For the latter requires humility and the lack of desire to be seen by others as pious or religious.

When the heart is fixated on Allah, what results is the natural inclination toward servanthood. Servanthood’s mark is - obviously - service, which is manifested in behavior that aims at forging unity, for Allah is the One who loves unity. Servanthood contains no pretense and thus no image. An individual can serve in any number of ways. The Prophet (SAW) himself said the best among you are those that give the most benefit to others. Beginning with our obligatory worship to Allah (of which all forms are sadaqah) and then to our communal responsibilities, the list of service is virtually limitless – plant a tree, feed a child (even your own!), help an older person, pick up trash, sweep the floor, etc, etc.

Muslim identity is thus not forged by a desire to be seen by men. This is image-building which is from the false Self and arguably a form of shirk – ‘playing God’ if you will. Living in a community as Muslims, i.e. in a state of Islam (surrender), that is not out to impress others but whose focus is on Allah, self-discipline and hard work, humility, compassion, selfless service and working toward creating peace and unity – is a community worthy of being known. Work and surrender in these difficult times are virtues that should be the mark of Muslims and will set us apart if we are sincere. They will not set us apart in a way that forges division, however, but in such a way that draws others to us and in so doing, elevates everyone to greater heights of human understanding, conduct and character.

If, on the other hand, we are preoccupied with portraying an outward image of religiosity that exudes exclusivity and pretense and is coupled with a personality to boot, this can only result in more division rather than unity. And we all know that ‘divide and conquer’ is the great weapon of Iblis. Why might Iblis, the great enemy of God and man, use division to destroy us? Perhaps because it is the opposite of what Allah wants, which is unity? Is not Allah the Divine Unity and does not ultimate success lie with and in Him? Superficial notions of identity can bring no benefit to us or anyone, no matter how ‘Islamic’ our egos might tell us they are.

Substance over Form

The examples of the pendekar are thus lessons in substance over form, and practice over pretense. The only identity that matters to such a one is that which stems from sincerity and action -- a reward for what exists in our hearts. Allah will always show us a mirror image of ourselves through others’ perceptions of us and how we carry ourselves. Our concern, therefore, should not be on how to forge an identity for the purpose of winning others over but rather on being and behaving in a manner that is worthy of Allah’s grace and support. This can only come about when we begin to see ourselves as servants above all else and the world as a place in need of unity and peace rather than division and tribal competitiveness.

Lest we forget...

If you adhere to the things that I am leaving behind, you shall never be misguided.

- Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Ja'bir bin Abd'Allah

Awe and Intimacy

The effect of awe is the disappearance of self;
the self which is in a state of awe, disappears.

Levels of awe may be measured by the degree to which the self has disappeared;
some people are at a higer level of awe than others.

The effect of intimacy, by contrast, is alertness;
those who are intimate, are alert.

A person who is fully intimate, could be thrown into a fire, and the intimacy would not be disturbed.

-Qushayri, "Risalah"

Oh Lord, Where Shall I Seek You?

When Moses conversed with God, he asked, "Lord, where shall I seek You?"
God answered, "Among the brokenhearted."
Moses continued, "But, Lord, no heart could be more despairing than mine."
And God replied, "Then I am where you are."

-Abu’l-Fayd al-Misri, “The Kashf al-Mahjub”

Belief is Not Inherited

...It is not correct to say that Muslims are Muslims simply because they were born into their religion. This is, in fact, not a position that is religiously acceptable according to the teachings of Islam. Every single Muslim is religiously required to acquire personal conviction of their religion. This personal conviction is reached by contemplating the many signs that God has placed for us to prevent us from being confused regarding what He wants of us.

- Sheikh Hamza Karamali

What Money Can't Buy

You will not be able to give anyone happiness by means of your wealth, so do it by means of a cheerful countenance and good humor.

-The Prophet Muhammad in Qushayri: al-Risalat al-Qushayriyya

Life is about Allah, Not me

One thing it might help to remember is that this life is not really all about you and you personal happiness, and when you make it such, that's when you make yourself unhappy.
This life is about Me, and knowing Me and loving Me in every moment, in every pleasure and in every pain.
In fact, pleasures and pains are quite alike in that they are both simply tests of your love for Me. They are able to distract you or able to strengthen you in your love and devotion to Me.
If you turn away from pleasure and you turn away from pain, then you will truly be My slave and know My Love and Appreciation.
It is through the self that you know Me, but not for the sake of the self but for My sake.
It is through the self that you see the Land, and through the Land that you see the self.
But focus on the Land, not the self.

Sitting with your Dissatisfaction...

Sitting with your dissatisfaction seems to mean being at peace with your conflict.
If you're involved in your conflict, then you have vested interest, you have conflicting interests, a conflict of interests; you are on one side in favor of that and against another, if you are involved with your conflict.
If you are at peace with your conflict, then you are not involved with it and you can resolve it. Basically what that means is to find peace first and then resolve your conflict.
The process of healing is the process of finding your peace.
From there you can resolve what we call residuals.
That's why we surrender first, then we can learn our faith (Iman) from experience.

- Ali Ansari

Punishing Kids...

As long as families have to exist in a permissive culture, psychologically healthy families need more than healthy communication. Children also need to be punished when they have done something wrong. After all, punishment is a part of the reconciliation process, and unpunished guilt can cause psychological problems of its own.

As I said in the previous section, punishment is just a simple psychological technique to decrease specific behavior. But to be effective, it must be used properly. The punishment, then, must be just: it must be consistent, fair, and adequate to the transgression. And it must be tempered with mercy.

In its psychological sense, mercy means to withhold some—or all—of the punishment demanded by justice if the guilty person shows deep sorrow for his or her behavior. But this is just the easy part. A parent can’t expect to administer punishment by remaining uninvolved. In fact, to administer punishment is to get involved.

Don’t expect to take away a child’s driving privileges and then say, “Well, you need to drive to school, so you can use the car for that. Just come home right after school.” What child couldn’t see through that nonsense—and learn to abuse it immediately? So wake up. You will have to drive your child to and from school, no matter what the inconvenience to you. Don’t expect to confine a child to the house and then expect that you can come and go, leaving the child alone in the house, while saying “Don’t go anywhere.” Wake up again. You will have to stay home and monitor your child, never letting him or her leave your sight. Homework must be done under your supervision, not alone in a bedroom. Meals must be eaten together. Entertainment must be in your presence. Everything must be done in your presence, and, as a result—like it or not—you will be drawn closer to your child. Sound hard? Well, that’s why there are so many family problems: the parents are always too busy to really get involved in the punishment. In the end, you have to accept the fact that the punishment will hurt the parent as much as the child. If it doesn’t, it will never be effective.

- Raymond Lloyd Richmond, PhD

Speaking to Children...How to Say 'No'

I’m always deeply saddened when someone attempts to discourage a child’s behavior by saying, “You don’t want to do that.” But of course the child wants to do that! It’s perfectly obvious he wants to do it, or he wouldn’t be trying. So why confuse the child by denying what you both know is perfectly true?

Here, then, is a special hint on how to say “No” to a child without causing psychological hurt. You do this by acknowledging what the child wants and then, without making the child feel guilty or bad simply for having childish desires, explain why the child cannot have what he or she wants.

To a young child say the following:
I know you want to [have some candy, play in the water, chase the birds, whatever . . .] and there are times when you can’t always have what you want.

To an older child (or another adult, for that matter) try saying something like this:
I know that you really would like to [stay out past dark, bungee jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, or whatever . . .] and [the danger of getting mugged, the law, insurance regulations, etc.] just won’t allow it.

The point of such statements is to show the child (a) that you recognize and respect the child’s desire and (b) that since the world is filled with conflicting desires, one’s own desires can’t always be fulfilled. This is an important lesson for children to learn. (Too bad most adults haven’t learned it.)

Said in another way, it’s not that the child’s desire is wrong, it’s simply that, because the world is unfair, all desires cannot always be fulfilled. It’s important to learn that apparent “evil” is, in many cases, simply the conflict between two “goods.” This is why you use the word and, rather than but, between the two parts of your statement.

- Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D.

Beware the Black Stain of the Heart

When a believer gives in to temptation, a black stain appears on his heart.
If he repents and asks for forgiveness, that stain disappears.
But if he continues to transgress, the stain continues to grow until it blackens the entire heart. That stain is the rust the Lord Almighty refers to: "Nay, rust has fallen upon their hearts for what they have earned."

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Hurairah

Subdue the Lower Soul

The lower soul dissuades from conforming to faith.
The more the self is subdued, the easier it becomes to glorify God.
When the ego is annihilated, worship becomes sustenance, just as it sustains the angels.

-Al-Hujwiri, “The Kashf al-Mahjub”

Looking for God...

God is in the water of the lake;
He is also in the cracked bed of the lake, when the lake has dried up.
God is in the abundant harvest;
He is also in the famine that occurs when the harvest fails.
God is in the lightning; He is also in the darkness, when the lightning has faded....

Brothers and sisters, you pile up stones to make shrines, imagining that God will make Himself present there.
Then you are surprised when these shrines do not ease your cares and worries.

-Hallaj, "Tawasin"

Beautiful Du'a

My Lord, how great my desire to meet You, how earnest my hope of Your reward. O Most Gracious, Hope of all hope, O Adored by all, if I be unworthy of You, and my endeavors not deserving of devotion, then gladly shall I confess to my infirmities, my sins. For who could be more forgiving than Yourself? But should You choose to chastise me, I will satisfy myself in the knowledge that no one could be more just than You.

-Sha'wanna, "Rabi'a the Mystic"

I Am With My Slave When He Remembers Me...

Remembrance is not remembered.
I do not remember whether or not God remembered me in the past; He remembers me now. God does not remember whether I remembered Him in the past; I remember Him now.
His remembrance is my remembrance, and mine is His.
Can two beings who remember one another not be in union?

-Hallaj: Tawasin