Love is Selfless Not Selfish

Title Love is Selfless Not Selfish Question Two married felt true love for each other. Over the years their love flourished as pure as it can be -- without any physical or sexual desires - a real soulmate love. Although you can come with all different opinions about how bad this is, the two are so much in love that they believed in the Akhirah (the Hereafter) so strongly that they can envision being there together. Both of them pray to Allah to make them be together in the Hereafter. However during one meeting they somehow did commit zina (fornication) and now they are in repentance. Now they don't have sexual desires, but then no one would believe this kind of love existed. Anyway, they think the only way out (which they tried to avoid in the first place in order not to destroy the two homes etc..) is to get divorced and then marry each other, because they just can not stop talking to or seeing each other, but they do not want to continue this life. Can each get divorce or khula` (wife's request for divorce) from their spouses and get married? They did not inform their spouses about the bad part, which happened all of sudden but the spouses from both parties know they these two love each other. The option of not talking is not there as most likely it will cause them to die for sure or be like the living dead. Question -, is the path explained valid, and how can one repent with what happened? Please do not reply with a typical judgment as the matter is very, very complicated, we need your guidance not a fatwa please.. Date 08/Oct/2008 Name of Counsellor

Answer

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful.

May He bestow His peace and blessings on His messenger, Muhammad, his family, Companions, and all of those who follow them sincerely.

As salamu `alaykum,
Dear brother, thank you for writing to us with your question. It is a bit difficult to make out the situation as you explain it, but I will try my best to answer the question as best I can given my level of understanding as to what you are asking.

It is always important, in this type of forum, that we ask questions with sincerity and openness, and not try to qualify our questions with, “well, I’m interested in what you have to say as long as long as it’s not A,B or C.” You mentioned in your question that you do not want us to answer you in a judgmental way, that you want us to provide you with ‘guidance.’ The way you pose your question indicates that you are looking for a particular response, or, more bluntly, that you would like us to ‘endorse’ your actions due to their ‘complexity’ and because of the intensity of emotions experienced between the two parties involved. Well, unfortunately, we cannot provide ‘guidance’ in such a manner. We must be honest and tell you what we think based on our knowledge and experience, as well as our understanding of the situation as you have explained it.

That’s all we have to go on.
Quite frankly, some of the things you say in your question make little sense. For example, you say that the two parties have no sexual desires for one another, but did commit adultery, and then after they committed adultery, they again had no sexual feelings for one another. This makes no sense. The whole point of the Islamic teaching of people of opposite sexes keeping safe distance from one another, both physically and socially, is to avoid this very thing – temptation. This is not a mere cultural practice, but rather a practical method for keeping our human temptations and desires in check.

It’s called preventive medicine. Many so-called intelligent people like to say that this is ridiculous, that grown men and women are mature enough to have social relations with one another without it necessarily turning into sexual relations. If so, why are there so many extra-marital affairs going on in the world, leading to divorces, domestic violence, broken homes and the like? How many such affairs start at places like the office, where so-called ‘harmless’ social contact can so easily blossom into a full-blown extra-marital love affair? Does Allah not know us better than we know ourselves? We think we are so smart, yet the facts and numbers are proof that we are not.

The situation you are in now is a difficult one. As you have requested, I will not give you a fatwa because I am not qualified to do so, however, your question – can these two people now both request divorce due to their love affair with one another – requires a fatwa of some sort. You are asking a question that is related to legal matters, i.e. can they legitimately ask for divorce given the circumstances. That particular question I cannot answer. As such, it is difficult for me to answer your question, other than to say that regardless of how much these two people love each other, the bottom line is that their love for one another appears greater than their love for Allah, as they have already committed adultery yet insist on moving forward with the illicit relationship. That’s not being judgmental, that’s the simple fact of the situation.

Reality is reality. You say that the two are afraid to destroy their respective homes, but based on what they have done already it seems as though that’s going to happen regardless. Especially since the two insist that their desperate love for one another must continue. Their homes are already in trouble, brother, first by being involved in this kind of relationship and secondly by committing adultery. Unless something dramatic is done quickly, I fear that further damage to the homes will ensue.

True love is not destructive, brother. True love is selfless, it’s sacrifice for the other - it’s wanting the best for another. It’s a state where individual desires disappear and one’s life becomes a vehicle for service of the other. There is no more wanting for ourselves, only for others for the sake of God. Thus the adage, “If you love somebody, set them free….” That is true love and it is only love of God that can bring us that love. Love is not “I gotta have this person at all costs and no matter who and what I destroy in the process…” Love is, “I want whatever is best for this person, regardless of what I GET out of it!” And whatever is best for another includes their life in this world and the life to come. There is no true love, however, that destroys homes and souls by committing capital crimes in God’s eyes. That is not true love.

The first thing I think that needs to be done before any action should be taken is sincere tawbah/repentance for what has taken place between these two people. Only with sincere repentance and then asking Allah for guidance can there be any honest attempt to resolve the situation in a way that is healthy. Otherwise, these two people will be merely following their nafs/desires’ wishes, causing more destruction in their wake. Right now, I sense that these two people are blinded by their love/lust for one another and are not capable of making clear judgments as to what is best. They need to, though, before they do any more harm to their families and themselves.

If they are sincere, as you say, in their desire to be together in the Akhirah, then they have to come to their senses now in this life and realize that the path they are on is certainly not going to bring them together in the Akhirah in any desirable state. They need to realize this and put their lives and their actions in perspective. Their prayers to be together in the life to come will be answered, in sha-Allah, if they are able to control themselves and act within the bounds of God’s laws and guidance. Only by doing so will they realize their dreams of being together in the life to come.

How Hard it is to be Human!

Angels were created without lust and evil, the worst obstacles of humankind.
Those who, despite their evil nature, remain pious excel angels in rank.

Enthused by their purity angels denounced the human race, so God chose three angels to go to the earth and reform its inhabitants.
One angel, espying the corruption, begged God to let him return.
The other two, in their earthly form, gave in to lust and fell from grace.
Thus God revealed to the other angels the superiority of the devout.

-Al-Hujwiri, “The Kashf al-Mahjub”

Real Faith

Real faith is having complete trust in God.
It is the belief in the wisdom which comes from the Unseen.
Such certainty can only be attained through the knowledge that emerges with divine help.

-Al-Hujwiri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

The Formula for Paradise...

Worship the Merciful, feed the hungry, and spread peace.
You shall then enter Paradise in peace.

-Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abd’Allah bin Amr

Fear and Hope: Two Pillars of Faith

Fear and hope are two pillars of faith.
By practicing either one of them a person will not fall into error,
because both fear and hope lead to union.
Those who fear devote themselves to God through fear of separation from Him,
and those who hope worship in hope of realizing the ultimate union.

-Al-Razi, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

Best Time to Make Du’a

Life is all about belief in the unseen, the unseen that is more powerful than all the riches of this world. “Oh Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful, grant me a peaceful life in this world and the other.” A du'a - the only means of pleading with our Lord. Du’a or supplication brings us closer to Allah, helps us remember Him and proves our faith in Him. It is important to ask through Du’a at all times of need in our life. There are certain times when du'a is more likely to be accepted by Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) as mentioned by the Prophet (PBUH). These times are as follows:

1. The Last Third Of The Night

Abu Hurairah (Rali Allahu Anhu) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SalAllahu alayhi wasalam) said: ‘In the last third of every night our Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) (Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala)) descends to the lowermost heaven and says; “Who is calling Me, so that I may answer him? Who is asking Me so that may I grant him? Who is seeking forgiveness from Me so that I may forgive him?” [Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith Qudsi]

Amr ibn Absah narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said: ‘The closest any worshipper can be to His Lord is during the last part of the night, so if you can be amongst those who remember Allah at that time, then do so.’ [At-Tirmidhi, an-Nasa’i, al-Hakim - Sahih]

2. Late at night

When people are sleeping and busy with worldly pleasures Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) gives the believers an opportunity, or an answer hour if they can fight sleep and invoke Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) for whatever they need.

The Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: ‘There is at night an hour, no Muslim happens to be asking Allah any matter of this world or the Hereafter, except that he will be given it, and this (occurs) every night.’ [Muslim #757]

3. Between Adhan and Iqamah

Anas (Rali Allahu Anhu) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: ‘A supplication made between the Adhan and Iqama is not rejected.’ [Ahmad, abu Dawud #521, at-Tirmidhi #212, Sahih al-Jami #3408, an-Nasai and Ibn Hibban graded it sahih (sound)]

4. An Hour on Friday

Narrated Abu Hurairah (Rali Allahu Anhu ): Allah’s Messenger (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) talked about Friday and said:
‘There is an hour on Friday and if a Muslim gets it while offering Salat (prayer) and asks something from Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala), then Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) will definitely meet his demand.’ And he the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) pointed out shortness of that particular time with his hands. [Sahih al-Bukhari]

Some have said that this hour is from the time the Imam (prayer’s leader) enters the mosque on Friday’s prayer until the prayer is over (ie between the two khutbahs), whereas others have said that it is the last hour of the day (ie after the Asr prayer until the Maghrib prayer).

(Note: when we say an hour here we do not mean the hour everyone knows (60 minutes) but an unspecified period of time because the time counters which we use today came after the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) had died.

5. While Drinking Zamzam Water

Jaber (Rali Allahu Anhu ) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: ‘Zamzam water is for what it is drunk for.’ [Ahmad 3: 357 and Ibn Majah #3062]

This means that when you drink Zamzam water you may ask Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) for anything you like to gain or benefit from this water such as healing from illness.... etc.

6. While Prostrating

Abu Hurairah (Rali Allahu Anhu ) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (Salallahu alayhi wasalam), said:
‘The nearest a slave can be to his Lord is when he is prostrating, so invoke (supplicate) Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) much in it. [Muslim, abu Dawud, an-Nasa’i and others, Sahih al-Jami #1175]

When a Muslim is in his Salat (prayer) he is facing Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) and when he prostrates he is the nearest he can be to Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) so it is best to invoke Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) at this time. It is said that while in prostration, one should not ask for worldly needs (ie a nice car, a new job, etc), but for the Hereafter.

7. When Waking Up at Night

Narrated Ubada Bin As-Samit that Allah’s Messenger (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: ‘Whoever wakes up at night and says La ilaha illallahu wahdahu la shrika lahu lahulmulku, wa lahul hamdu, wa huwa ala kulli shai’in qadir. Alhamdu lillahi, wa subhanallahi wa la ilaha illallahu, wallah akbir, wa la hawla wala quwata illa billah (none has the right to be worshipped but Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) He is the only one who has no partners. His is the kingdom and all the praises are for Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) All the glories are for Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) And none has the right to be worshipped but Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) and Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) is the most Great and there is neither might nor power except with Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) and then says, Allahumma ighfir li (O Allah! Forgive me) or invokes Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala), he will be responded to and if he makes ablution and performs Salat (prayer), his Salat (prayer) will be accepted. [Sahih al-Bukhari]

8. At The End Of The Obligatory Salat

Narrated Abu Omamah (Rali Allahu Anhu ): that Allah’s Messenger (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) was asked, O Messenger of Allah, which supplication is heard (by Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala), he said the end of the night and at the end of the obligatory Salat (prayer) [at-Tirmidhi] This time is after saying ‘At-tahyat’ , and before making Tasleem (finishing prayer)

9. The Night Of ‘Qadr’ (Decree)

This night is the greatest night of the year. This is the night which the almighty Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) said about it, “The night of Al-Qadar (Decree) is better than a thousand months.” [Surah al-Qadr, 97: 3]

The Night of Decree is one of the odd nights of the last ten nights of the blessed month of Ramadan. The angels descend down to the earth, and the earth is overwhelmed with peace and serenity until the break of dawn and when the doors of Paradise are opened, the worshipper is encouraged to turn to Allah to ask for his needs for this world and the Hereafter.

10. During The Rain

Narrated Sahel Ibn Sa’ad (Rali Allahu Anhu ): that the Messenger of Allah (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: ‘Two will not be rejected, Supplication when the Adhan (call of prayer) is being called, and at the time of the rain’. [Al-Hakim 2: 114, and Abu Dawud #2540, ibn Majah]

‘Seek the response to your du’as when the armies meet, and the prayer is called, and when rain falls’ [Reported by Imam al-Shafi’ in al-Umm, al-Sahihah #1469]

The time of the rain is a time of mercy from Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) so, one should take advantage of this time when Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) is having mercy on His slaves.

11. At the Adhan

‘Seek the response to your du’as when the armies meet, and the prayer is called, and when rain falls’ [Reported by Imam al-Shafi’ in al-Umm, al-Sahihah #1469]

In another hadith; ‘When the prayer is called, the doors of the skies are opened, and the du’a is answered’ [al-Tayalisi in his Musnad #2106, al-Sahihah #1413]

12. The One Who Is Suffering Injustice and Oppression

The Messenger of Allah (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said to Mua'ad Ibn Jabal (Rali Allahu Anhu ), 'Beware of the supplication of the unjustly treated, because there is no shelter or veil between it (the supplication of the one who is suffering injustice) and Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala)'
(Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) declared,
'Three men whose du'a is never rejected (by Allah) are: the fasting person until he breaks his fast (in another narration, when he breaks fast), the just ruler and the one who is oppressed" (Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi - Hasan)

In another hadith; The Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) declared: 'Three du'as are surely answered: The du'a of the oppressed, the du'a of the traveller, and the du'a of the father/mother (upon their child)'

The One who is suffering injustice is heard by Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) when he invokes Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) to retain his rights from the unjust one or oppressor. Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) has sworn to help the one who is suffering from injustice sooner or later as the Messenger of Allah (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said.

13. The Traveller

The Messenger of Allah (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said; Three supplications will not be rejected by Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala)), the supplication of the parent for his child, the supplication of the one who is fasting, and the supplication of the traveller. (al-Bayhaqi, at-Tirmidhi - Sahih)

During travel supplication is heard by Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) if the trip is for a good reason, but if the trip is for a bad intention or to perform illegal things (making sins) this will not apply to it.

14. The Parent's Supplication for their Child

The Messenger of Allah (SalAllahu alayhi wasalam) said; Three supplications will not be rejected (by Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala)), the supplication of the parent for his child, the supplication of the one who is fasting, and the supplication of the traveller. [al-Bayhaqi, at-Tirmidhi - Sahih]

15. Dua after praising Allah and giving salat on the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wasalam) in the tashahhud at the end of salat.

Narrated Faddalah ibn Ubayd (Rali Allahu Anhu ): that the Messenger of Allah (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said:
'When anyone of you makes du'a, let him start by glorifying his Lord and praising Him, then let him send blessings upon the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam), then let him pray for whatever he wants' [abu Dawud #1481, at-Tirmidhi #3477]

In another hadith; Baqiy ibn Mukhallid (Rali Allahu Anhu) narrated that that the Messenger of Allah (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: 'Every du'a is not responded to until one sends blessings upon the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam)' [al-Bayhaqi]

In another hadith; Umar (Rali Allahu Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said:
'Du'a is detained between the heavens and the earth and no part of it is taken up until you send blessings upon your Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam)' [at-Tirmidhi #486]
After a person has finished his tashahhud and before saying the 'salam', supplication at this time is one likely to be responded to. Ibn Mas'ud narrates: I was once praying, and the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam), Abu Bakr and Umar (were all present). When I sat down (in the final tashahhud), I praised Allah, then sent salams on the Prophet, then started praying for myself. At this, the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said:
'Ask, and you shall be given it! Ask, and you shall be given it!' (at-Tirmidhi #593 - hasan, Mishkat al-Misbah #931)

16. The dua of a Muslim for his absent brother or sister Muslim stemming from the heart.

The prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: 'There is no believing servant who supplicates for his brother in his absence where the angels do not say, 'the same be for you'' [Muslim]

17. Dua on the Day of Arafat

The Messenger of Allah (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: 'The best supplication is the supplication on the day of Arafat'. [at-Tirmidhi and Malik]

The day of Arafat is the essence and pinnacle of Hajj. On this great and momentous day, millions of worshippers gather together on one plain, from every corner of the world, with only one purpose in mind - to response to the call of their Creator. During this auspicious day, Allah does not refuse the requests of His worshippers.

18. Dua during the month of Ramadan

Ramadan is month full of many blessings, thus the du'a of Ramadan is a blessed one. This can be inferred from the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) saying: 'When Ramadan comes, the Doors of Mercy (another narration says Paradise ) are opened, and the doors of Hell are closed, and the Sahitans are locked up'

Thus, it is clear that du'a during Ramadan has a greater chance of being accepted, as the Gates of Paradise and Mercy is opened. [Sahih al-Bukhari #1899, Muslim #1079 and others]

19. Dua when the Armies meet

When the Muslim is facing the enemy in battle, at this critical period, the du'a of a worshipper is accepted.
Sahl bn Sa'd(Rali Allahu Anhu) narrated the the Prophet Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said:
'Two dua's are never rejected, or rarely rejected: the du'a during the call for prayer, and the du'a during the calamity when the two armies attack each other' [abu Dawud #2540, ibn Majah, al-Hakim]

In another narration: 'Seek the response to your du'as when the armies meet, and the prayer is called, and when rain falls' [Reported by Imam al-Shafi' in al-Umm, al-Sahihah #1469]

20. When Muslims gather for the purpose of invoking and remembering Allah (Dhikrullah)

The Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: If a group of people sit together remembering Allah, the angels will circle them, mercy will shroud them, peace will descend onto them and Allah will remember them among those with Him. [Muslim]

21. First Ten days of Dhul-Hijjah

The Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said:
'There are no days during which good deeds are more beloved to Allah than during these ten days' [Sahih al-Bukhai #969 and others]

22. At Midnight

Abu Umamah (Rali Allahu Anhu) said, the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) was questioned; 'Which du'a is heard (by Allah)?' He answered, 'At midnight and at the end of every obligatory prayer.' [At-Tirmidhi - Hasan]

23. Dua of people after the death of a person

In a long hadith, Umm Salamah (Rali Allahu Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said, when Abu Salamah had just passed away, and had closed his eyes,
'Do not ask for yourselves anything but good, for the angels will say 'Ameen' to all that you ask for. O Allah, forgive Abu Salamah, and raise his ranks among those who are guided.' [Muslim, abu Dawud, Ahmad]

24. Dua of the one fasting until he breaks his fast

The Messenger of Allah (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said; Three supplications will not be rejected (by Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala)), the supplication of the parent for his child, the supplication of the one who is fasting, and the supplication of the traveller. [al-Bayhaqi, at-Tirmidhi - Sahih]

25. Dua of the one fasting at the time of breaking fast

The prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) declared, 'Three men whose du'a is never rejected by Allah are: when a fasting person breaks fast (in another narration, the fasting person until he breaks his fast), the just ruler and the one who is oppressed.' [Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi - Hasan]

26. Dua of a just Ruler

The prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) declared, 'Three men whose du'a is never rejected by Allah are: the fasting person until he breaks his fast (in another narration, when he breaks fast), the just ruler and the one who is oppressed.' [Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi - Hasan]

27. Du'a of a son or daughter obedient to his or her parents

It is well known in the story narrated in hadith of three men who were trapped by a huge stone in a cave. One of them who was kind to kids and parents asked Allah to remove the stone, and his du'a was answered. [Sahih al-Bukhari 3:36 #472]

28. Dua immediately after wudu

Umar ibn Al-Khattab (Rali Allahu Anhu) reported that the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said: 'There is not one of you that makes wudu, and does it perfectly, then says: I testify that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah. He is Alone, having no partners. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and messenger', except that the eight gates of Paradise are opened for him, and he can enter into it through whichever one He pleases'
[Muslim #234, abu Dawud #162, Ahmad, an-Nasa'i]
Saying what has been mentioned in the hadith that is directly related to it (ablution)

29. Dua after stoning the Jamarat at Hajj

The stoning of the small Shaitan (jamrat sugra), or the middle Shaitan (jamrat wusta) pillars during Hajj. It is narrated that the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) would stone the small Jamarah (one of the three pillars that is stoned in the last days of Hajj), then face the qiblah, raise his hands, and make du'a for a long time. He would then stone the middle Jamarah and do the same. When he stoned the large Jamarah, he would depart without making any du'a.
[Sahih al-Bukhari #1753 and others]

30. At the Crowing of a Rooster

Abu Hurairah (Rali Allahu Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: 'When you hear a rooster crowing, then ask Allah for His bounties, for it has seen an angel, and when you hear a donkey braying, then seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan, for it has seen a Shaitan' [Sahih al-Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, Sahih al-Jami #611]

31. Du'a made inside the Ka'bah

The Ka'bah is a sanctuary that has no comparison in the entire world. The du'a of one who prays inside the hijr is considered as being made inside the ka'bah, as it is part of the house (Baitullah). [This is the semicircle to the right of the Ka'bah if you face the door, opposite to the Yemeni corner and the Black stone wall.]

Usamah ibn Zayd narrated, 'When the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) entered the House (Ka'bah), and he made du'a in all of its corners [Muslim 2: 968 and others]

32. Du'a on the mount of Safa or Marwah during Umrah or Hajj
It is narrated that the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) would make long du'as at Safa and Marwah. [Muslim #1218 and others]

33. While reciting Surah al-Fatihah

The Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said that Allah the Exalted had said: ' I have divided the prayer into two halves between me and my servant, and my servant will receive what he asks for. When the servant says: Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the universe, Allah the Most High says: My servant has praised Me. And when he (the servant) says: The Most Compassionate, the Merciful, and Allah the Most High says: My servant has lauded Me. When he (the servant) says: Master of the Day of Judgment, He remarks: My servant has glorified me, and sometimes He will say: My servant entrusted (his affairs) to Me. When he (the worshipper) says: Thee do we worship and of Thee do we ask help, He (Allah) says: This is between me and my servant, and my servant will receive what he asks for. Then, when he (the worshipper) says: Guide us to the straight path, the path of those to whom Thou hast been Gracious - not of those who have incurred Thy displeasure, nor of those who have gone astray, He (Allah) says: This is for My servant, and My servant will receive what he asks for. [Muslim 4: 395]

34. Saying 'Ameen' during prayer

After finishing the recitation of Al-Fatihah, the saying of 'Ameen' in congregation.
The Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said: 'When the Imam says 'Ameen', then recite it behind him (as well), because whoever's Ameen coincides with the Ameen of the angels will have all of his sins forgiven.' [Sahih al-Bukhari #780, Muslim #410 and others]

35. While visiting the sick, and dua made by the sick

Umm Salamah narrated that the Prophet (Salallahu alayhi wasalam) said:
'When you visit the sick, or the dead then say good, because the angels say 'Ameen' to whatever you say. [Muslim #2126]

Ali (Radhi Allahu Anhu ) reported that the Prophet (SalAllahu alayhi wasalam) said:
'When a Muslim visits his sick Muslim brother in the morning, seventy thousand angels make dua for his forgiveness till the evening. And when he visits him in the evening, seventy thousand angels make dua for his forgiveness till the morning, and he will be granted a garden for it in Jannah.' [At-Tirmidhi, abu Dawud]

- Author unknown

Inspirational Story

Inspirational story

A young man had been to Wednesday Night Class of Quranic Studies. The Mualim had shared about listening to Allah and obeying Allah through intuition. The young man couldn't help but wonder, 'Does Allah still speak to people through intuition?' After Lessons, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message. Several different ones talked about how Allah had led them in different ways and that at the end you'll know it was Allah(SWT) Who has directed you.

It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, 'Allah...If you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey.' As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk. He shook his head and said out loud, 'Allah is that you?' He didn't get a reply and started on toward home. But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk came into his head. 'Okay, Allah, in case that is you, I will buy the milk.' It didn't seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward home. As he passed Seventh Street , he again felt the urge, 'Turn Down that street.' This is crazy he thought, and drove on past the intersection. Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street .. At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down Seventh. Half jokingly, he said out loud, 'Okay, Allah, I will.'

He drove several blocks, when suddenly, he felt like he should stop. He pulled over to the curb and looked around. He was in a semi-commercial area of town. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst of neighborhoods either. The businesses were closed and most of the houses looked dark like the people were already in bed. Again, he sensed something, 'Go and give the milk to the people in the house across the street.' The young man looked at the house. It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep. He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat. 'Allah, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going to be mad and I will look stupid.' Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk.

Finally, he opened the door, 'Okay Allah (SWT), if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will count for something, but if they don't answer right away, I am out of here.' He walked across the street and rang the bell. He could hear some noise inside. A man's voice yelled out, 'Who is it? What do you want?' Then the door opened before the young man could get away. The man was standing there in his jeans and T-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn't seem too happy to have some stranger standing on his doorstep. 'What is it?' The young man thrust out the gallon of milk, 'Here, I brought this to you.'

The man took the milk and rushed down a hallway. Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen. The man was following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The man had tears streaming down his face. The man began speaking and half crying, 'We were just praying. We had some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn't have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking Allah (SWT) to show me how to get some milk.' His wife in the kitchen yelled out, 'I ask him to send an Angel with some. Are you an Angel?'

The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put in the man's hand. He turned and walked back toward his car and the tears were streaming down his face. He knew that Allah (SWT) still answers prayers."

If you put your whole trust in Allah, as you ought, He most certainly will satisfy your needs, as He satisfies those of the birds. They come out hungry in the morning, but return full to their nests." (Tirmidhi)"

What actions are most excellent? To gladden the heart of human beings, to feed the hungry, to help the afflicted, to lighten the sorrow of the sorrowful, and to remove the sufferings of the injured." (Bukhari)

Moral: Allah swt always waits for us. He is ready to forgive us and answer our prayers. However it is us who need to get closer to Him. He is always there for us and waiting for us to ask for anything, yet we choose to do things on our own. Remember that He is the Creator and the Rabb of the universe and is willing to help you in your time of need. I believe it is time that we finally open our hearts and mind and submit ourselves to His will. This is a reminder to myself and to everyone else.

"O Rubb, grant me Your love, grant me that I love those who love You; grant me, that I might do the deeds that win Your love. Make Your love dearer to me than the love of myself, my family and wealth." (Tirmidhi)

Ameen.

Purity Does Not Lie in Rituals....

Since man is made of clay, he can never be completely pure.
Since clay is basically foul, how can humans escape their basic nature?
Purity does not lie in rituals, nor can human nature be changed by effort.
Those who love God and remain conscious only of their Beloved attain purity.

-Al-Hujwiri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

Your Lord Will be Unjust to No One...

The record of your deeds will be given to each of you.
And those of you who are sinners, will be horrified at what you read.
You will scream, and say: ‘I can hardly believe it! This book leaves out nothing; every action, both great and small, has been noted down.’
Yes, you will find an account of all that you have done.
Your Lord will be unjust to no one.

- Qur'an, Al-Kahf, Surah 18:49

How Forgiving is Allah....

A man went back to transgressing after he had sincerely asked forgiveness of God and swore never to sin again.

"How will God forgive me this time?" he asked in despair.

A heavenly voice responded, "You obeyed Me and I made amends for you, then you abandoned Me and I indulged you, and now that you returned to Me I shall receive you."

-Al-Hujwiri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

Many of the questions we get on Islamic cyber counseling have to do with this issue -- can Allah really be THAT forgiving? From what I have learned and experienced the key to fogiveness of course is sincere repentance. If we are truly sincere in our tawbah, then yes, Allah is that forgiving and more so, regardless of how many times we slip....

The Secrets of Prayer....

Prayer is that which enables the soul to realize its divinity.
Through prayer human beings worship absolute truth, and seek an eternal reward.
Prayer is the foundation-stone of religion; and religion is the means by which the soul is purified of all that pollutes it.
Prayer is the worship of the first cause of all things, the supreme ruler of all the world, the source of all strength.
Prayer is the adoration of the one whose being is necessary.

-Ibn Sina, “Kitab al-Najat”

A Checklist for Ramadhan

1. Ask Allah to enable you to reach Ramadan and to get the most out of it as the Salaf (early generation of pious people) used to do.

2. Intend to fast every day with Iman and pure intention seeking the reward from Allah alone. The Prophet peace be upon him said, "Whoever fasts in Ramadan with Iman and seeking reward (from Allah) his past sins will be forgiven". (Bukhari)

3. Read the whole Qur'an at least once as the Prophet peace be upon him did.

4. Have Suhoor as the Prophet peace be upon him said, "Have Suhoor because it is blessed".

5. Make Du'a during the fast because the Prophet peace be upon him said that three people's supplication is not rejected one of them is the fasting person. Ask for the good of this life and the next for yourself, your family and Muslims in general.

6. Make Dua before opening the fast. The Prophet peace be upon him said, "The fasting person has a supplication that is answered when he opens his fast".

7. Give Sadaqah and be good to people. The Prophet peace be upon him was the most generous of people and he was most generous in Ramadan.

8. Avoid anything that diminishes the fast such as, lying, backbiting, cheating, getting angry. The Prophet peace be upon him said "Whoever does not give up false statements (i.e. telling lies), and evil deeds, and speaking bad words to others, Allah is not in need of his (fasting) leaving his food and drink." [Bukhari]

9. Do not eat too much after Iftar.

10. Ask for forgiveness since this is the month Allah frees people from the fire.

11. Pray At-Tarawih. If you pray in the Masjid complete the Salah with the Imam. If you pray at home prolong the Salah as long as you can. The Prophet peace be upon him said, "Whoever prays during Ramadan with Iman and seeking reward (from Allah) his past sins will be forgiven".

12. Feed the poor and invite others for Iftar. The Prophet peace be upon him said, "Whoever gives Iftar to someone fasting he will have the same reward without decreasing the reward of the person fasting".

13. Try harder the last ten nights especially the odd nights. The prophet would strive in Ramadan more than he would in any other month and more so in the last ten days.

14. Say this Dua in the nights that Laitul-Qadr is likely to fall on: Allhumma innaka afuwun tuhibbul-afwa fa'fu anni (O Allah you are Forgiving and love forgiveness so forgive me).

15. Ask Allah to accept all your good actions during this month."Oh you who believe, what is the matter with you that when you are asked to march forward in the cause of Allah you cling heavily to the earth. Are you pleased with the life of this world rather than the Hereafter but little is the enjoyment of the life of this world as compared with the Hereafter." -Al Quran 9.3

Stand Up in Prayer at Night...

Listen, stand up in prayer during the night*,
for you are a candle,
and at night a candle stands and burns.

*Qur'an: Surah Al-Muzzamil (The Enwrapped One), 73:20

-Rumi, Mathnawi [IV, 1456]

The Month of Mercy has Arrived...

Ramadan is the (month) in which was sent down the Qur'an, as a guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (Between right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting, but if any one is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed period (Should be made up) by days later. Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful.

-Qur'an, Al-Baqara, 2:185

How Just is the World...

I never saw anyone as just as the world.
As long as you pursue the world it will pursue you,
but when you turn away from it and seek God,
it will leave you alone and its glamour shall no longer fascinate you.

-Al-Hujwiri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

God is Incomparable....

In order to think about God, you may compare him with other beings;
but remember that he is incomparable.
In this way you will live in the house of truth.

-Ibn Arabi, “Fusus al-hikam”

Your Enemy...

Your worst enemy lies between your two ribs.

- Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

The Supreme Being...

God, the supreme being, is neither circumscribed by space, nor touched by time;
he cannot be found in a particular direction, and his essence cannot change.
The secret conversation is thus entirely spiritual;
it is a direct encounter between God and the soul, abstracted from all material constraints.

-Ibn Sina, "Kitab al-Najat"

He is Boundless....

Do not think of God as isolated from his creation.
Do not think of God as bound by rules.
Do not compare God with any other entity.
Beware of thinking of God as remote.
You are not God; and you are God.
You see him in the essences of all things; yet he is boundless.

-Ibn Arabi, "Fusus al-hikam"

Seek from God...

Seek what you wish from God, not from men.
Be satisfied in joy; there is honor therein.
On friends and relatives be not a burden.
Rich is he who hopes from God, not from men.

-Al-Ghazzali, "Ihya Ulum Id-Din"

Advice for Muslim Parents

KEEPING MUSLIM TEENS MUSLIM

22 Tips for Parents

What does it take for parents to get a teen to become a practicing Muslim? Sound Vision has talked to parents, Imams, activists and Muslims who have grown up in the West to ask what are some practical things parents can do to help Muslim teens maintain their Deen. These are some of their suggestions:

Tip #1: Take parenting more seriously than you would a full-time job
This means both parents must understand their children are a trust from Allah, and He will ask how they were raised. If the children do not grow up practicing Islam because of their parents' negligence, it is not going to be pretty in this life or the next.

Tip #2:Reduce or change work hours and exchange them for time with the family
It is better to have one full-time job, fewer luxuries in the house (i.e. more cars, expensive clothes, a bigger, fancier home) and more time with the family, than many material things and absent parents. This goes for mothers AND fathers. Parents can't instill values in their children if they just aren't there, period. Quit that extra job on the weekends or in the evenings and instead drive the kids to the mosque for Halaqas and activities instead. Or consider switching shifts at work so that you're home when the kids are.

Tip #3: Read the Quran, understanding its meaning, for five minutes every day
Just five minutes. Whether it's in the car during a traffic jam, early morning after Fajr, or right before you go to bed, read the Quran with a translation and/or Tafseer. Then watch the snowball effect. You will, Insha Allah, reconnect with Allah, and in the long run, develop into a role model helping your whole family, not just your teen, reconnect with Him too.

Tip #4: Attend a weekly Halaqa
Trade playing cards or watching television on Sunday afternoons for a Halaqa. If you don't have something already in place during that time slot, help the Imam to set one up. Attend it vigilantly. The added bonus of this is that when children see their parents striving to learn about Islam, they will in many cases be encouraged to do the same.

Tip #5: Respect your teen
Respecting your teen means not treating them like inept babies, but like maturing adults, not talking down to them or humiliating and insulting them. It means involving them in useful activities around the home and seeking their opinions on matters of importance.

Tip #6: Take an interest in what they do
Does Noor play hockey in an all-girls' sports league? Attend Noor's games as regularly as possible. Does Ihsan collect stamps? See if you can find old letters from your parents in Malaysia or Lebanon and pass the stamps on them to her. Does Muhsin love building websites? Visit his site, post a congratulatory e-mail on the message board and offer some suggestions for the site. Give him a book on advanced web design as Eid gift.

Tip #7: Be aware of problems and address them straightforwardly
As you spend more time with your teen, you will be more able to sense if there is something bothering them. Don't brush this feeling under the carpet. Address it straight on. But don't do this in the family meeting or n in front of others. Do it during the next tip.

Tip #8: "Date" your teenager
While dating is commonly associated with boy-girl social meetings, the concept can be extended to any meeting between two people wanting to get to know each other better. It's especially important to "date" your children on an individual level once they hit their teens because they are no longer just "one of the kids". They are young adults who need attention and guidance on an individual level. You can go out on a "date" when Sumayya graduates from high school (instead of going to the prom), when Ahmed gets his driver's license or if you feel there is something bothering them and you want to address them alone.

Tip #9: Don't just be your teen's parent, be his or her partner
Making them a partner means giving them responsibilities within the family. Get 16 year old Amir, who just got his driver's license, to help his mom with grocery shopping on Saturday's; get 15 year old Jasmine, who loves flowers, to be responsible for the garden and mowing the lawn. This way, teens will feel a part of the family, included and needed.

Tip #10: Build a Masjid in your home
Delegate a room, part of the basement or the living room as the home Masjid. You can do this for less than $25. Make this Masjid entirely the responsibility of the kids. Get the eldest to be in charge and to delegate responsibilities for younger siblings. Responsibilities include keeping the Masjid clean, waking people up for Fajr, calling the Adhan, etc.

Tip #11: Don't practice "men's Islam"
That means don't exclude wives or daughters from prayers. When the men are praying in Jamaah, make sure the women are either behind them or also praying in congregation. Make sure the Imam recites the prayer loud enough for the women to hear if they are in another part of the house. Also, encourage women to pray in Jamaah if there are no men present.

Tip #12: Establish an Islamic library and choose a librarian
Equip your home with an Islamic library with books, video and audio cassettes about various aspects of Islam, catering to everyone's age and interests. If 13-year-old Bilal likes adventure novels, for example, make sure you have a couple of Islamic adventure books Get one of your teens to be the librarian. S/he keeps materials organized and in good condition. Any requests for materials to be added to the collection have to go through him or her. Give this librarian a monthly budget for ordering new books, cassettes, etc.

Tip#13: Take them out.....to Islamic activities
Instead of a fancy dinner at a restaurant, save your money to take everyone out to the next Muslim community dinner or activity. Make a special effort to go to events where other Muslim teens will be present and the speaker caters his/her message to this crowd. It's also important to regularly take Bilal and Humayra to Islamic camps and conferences where they will meet other Muslim kids their age on a larger scale.

Tip #14: Move to a racially and religiously mix neighborhood in your city
If your children can interact with Muslim as well as non-Muslim children on a daily basis, it is going to be healthier for their growth. May be a move closer to a masjid is going to help as well.

Tip #15 : Help teens start their own youth group
After living in a Muslim neighborhood and attending Islamic activities regularly, teens in many cases will develop a friendship with other Muslims their age. Don't let this end here.Help them establish a youth group, not just to learn about Islam, but to go to the amusement park together, go swimming, etc. Have meetings at members' houses on a weekly or bimonthly basis. Get this group involved in useful work like cleaning up litter around the Masjid or visiting senior citizens' homes.This group must have parental supervision, although teens' decision-making powers should not be interfered with unless really necessary.

Tip #16: Establish a TV-free evening and monitor TV watching in general
Parents' biggest competitor for their children's attention is the T.V. Sound Vision's unTV guide. Monitoring what everyone watches simply means taking care to remind and help everyone avoid shows which depict sex, violence and encourage unIslamic activities. Put up a list of acceptable and unacceptable shows on the wall beside the T.V. Establishing TV-free evenings means having one evening of the week when no one, adult, teen or child is allowed to watch television. Hopefully, this is a first step towards general TV reduction in the home. This is an ideal time to have the next tip.

Tip #17: Have weekly family meetings
The purpose: to find out what is going on in everyone's lives and to consult the family on important issues. Hanan started attending a Halaqa, Imran just returned from a Muslim youth camp, Bilal aced the last algebra test. The point is not to just give this news in point form. It's to elicit discussion and communication between everyone, and to keep up-to-date about what is going on in everyone's life, which gets harder when kids become teenagers.This is also the place to consult the family and decide on major issues affecting everyone: a move to another city; a marriage of one of the family members; difficulties with a bully in school, etc.Please note: Shura in the family does not mean a majority vote determines what to do about a situation. While the parents remain in charge, teens and younger children voice opinions and suggestions parents will consider in making a final decision about a matter.

Tip #18: Have "Halal Fun night" once a month
"Fun is Haram" is a joke sometimes heard amongst Muslim youth, mocking the attitude of some Muslims for whom virtually anything enjoyable is automatically labeled Haram (forbidden). Islamic entertainment is a much neglected area of Muslim concern. Islamic songs, skits, etc. are a viable tool for the transmission of Islam. Maybe 16-year-old Jameel knows how to play the Duff, while his sister Amira, 14, can write and sing well. Let them present their own Islamic song to the whole family. Or have 12-year-old Ridwan recite some of his best poetry. Make one of the teens in charge of this event. Help them establish a criteria of acceptable and unacceptable Halal entertainment.

Tip #19: Provide the right role models-What would Abu Bakr have done?
Apart from being a role model yourself by trying to practice Islam, make sure you provide teens with reading material about the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and his Companions (Sahaba), both the men and the women. Otherwise, the characters on the programs your kids watch on television may become their "Sahabas". Discuss what a Companion may have done in a situation relevant to teens' lives. What would Abu Bakr Siddiq do if he saw a someone selling answers to the grade 11 math final exam? What would Aisha have done is she was confronted with the opportunity to cheat her parents?

Tip #20: Read books on Positive Parenting
These can be books written by Muslims, but even books by non-Muslims can help. However, just be ready and make sure you are able to identify what is Islamically acceptable versus what is not.

Tip #21: Get them married early
The societies of the West are permeated by sex: on TV, billboards, on the streets, buses, in movies, etc. A Muslim teenager facing this is in a tough position: succumb to the temptations or try really, really hard not to. Getting them married early (check out some tips for parents) will ease the pressure, and they don't have to stop their studies to do this. Remember, as a parent you will also be partly responsible if your son or daughter wanted to marry, you stopped them and they ended up having sex outside of marriage. You should also remember when undertaking this step not to force your son or daughter to marry someone they do not like.

Tip #22: Last but not least-Make Dua
Make Dua. It is really Allah who guides and misguides, but if you've done your job as a parent, Insha Allah, keeping your teen a practicing Muslim will be easier to do than if you had neglected this duty. As well, make Dua for your teen in front of them. This reminds them how much you love them and your concern for them.

- Soundvision.com

The Purpose of Islam is to Teach Humanity Unity

The purpose of Islam is to teach humanity unity. It begins
with the unity of our Lord, that we unify Him in our understanding
and associate nothing with Him. The renowned theologian and
heresiologist, Imam Abu Ishaq al-Isfarayini (d. 418/1027) remarked
that, “All what theologians have said concerning the unity of God
can be summed up in two statements: first, God is other than any
concept that comes to mind. Second, while the essence of God
is utterly unlike other essences, it is, nonetheless, not devoid of
attributes.”

- Sh. Hamza Yusuf

The Purpose of Our Existence...

The basic purpose of human existence is acquisition of knowledge of God;
there is no relationship more true than this spiritual affiliation.
All other types of relationships are but derivative and dependent upon that spiritual connection, and in themselves nothing to boast of.

- Lahiji: "Mafatih"

A Woman's Pride: The God Standard Not the Man Standard

This is a truly awesome response to the 'women leading prayer' controversy... kudos to Yasmin!

Woman's Reflection on Leading Prayer:

by Yasmin Mogahed

'Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade Myself by trying to be something I'm not--and in all honesty--don' t want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness. '

On March 18, 2005 Amina Wadud led the first female-led Jumuah (Friday) prayer. On that day women took a huge step towards being more like men. But, did we come closer to actualizing our God given liberation? I Don’t think so.

What we so often forget is that God has honored the woman by giving her value in relation to God not in relation to men. But as western feminism erases God from the scene, there are no standard left but men. As a result the western feminist is forced to find her value in relation to a man. And in so doing she has accepted a faulty assumption. She has accepted that man is the standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human being until she becomes just like a man-the standard.

When a man cut his hair short, she wanted to cut her hair short. When a man joined the army, she wanted to join the army. She wanted these things for no other reason than because the 'standard' had it. What she didn't recognize was that God dignifies both men and women in their distinctiveness—not their sameness. And on March 18, Muslim women made the very same mistake.

For 1400 years there has been a consensus of the scholars that men are to lead prayer. As a Muslim woman, why does this matter? The one who leads prayer is not spiritually superior in any way. Something is not better just because a man does it. And leading prayer is not better, just because it's leading. Had it been the role of women or had it been more divine, why wouldn't the Prophet have asked Ayesha or Khadija, or Fatima-the greatest women of all time-to lead?
These women were promised heaven-and yet they never lead prayer..

But now for the first time in 1400 years, we look at a man leading prayer and we think, 'That's not fair.' We think so although God has given no special privilege to the one who leads. The imam is no higher in the eyes of God than the one who prays behind.

On the other hand, only a woman can be a mother. And God has given special privilege to a mother. The Prophet taught us that heaven lies at the feet of mothers. But no matter what a man does he can never be a mother. So why is that not unfair?

When asked who is most deserving of our kind treatment? The Prophet replied 'your mother' three times before saying 'your father' only once.

Isn't that sexist? No matter what a man does he will never be able to have the status of a mother.

And yet even when God honors us with something uniquely feminine, we are too busy trying to find our worth in reference to men, to value it-or even notice. We too have accepted men as the standard; so anything uniquely feminine is, by definition, inferior. Being sensitive is an insult, becoming a mother-a degradation.

In the battle between stoic rationality (considered masculine) and self-less compassion (considered feminine), rationality reigns supreme.

As soon as we accept that everything a man has and does is better, all that follows is just a knee jerk reaction: if men have it-we want it too. If men pray in the front rows, we assume this is better, so we want to pray in the front rows too. If men lead prayer, we assume the imam is closer to God, so we want to lead prayer too. Somewhere along the line we've accepted the notion that having a position of worldly leadership is some indication of one's position with God.
A Muslim woman does not need to degrade herself in this way. She has God as a standard. She has God to give her value; she doesn't need a man.

In fact, in our crusade to follow men, we, as women, never even stopped to examine the possibility that what we have is better for us. In some cases we even gave up what was higher only to be like men.

Fifty years ago, society told us that men were superior because they left the home to work in factories. We were mothers. And yet, we were told that it was women's liberation to abandon the raising of another human being in order to work on a machine. We accepted that working in a factory was superior to raising the Foundation of society -just because a man did it.
Then after working, we were expected to be superhuman-the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker -and have the perfect career. And while there is nothing wrong, by definition, with a woman having a career, we soon came to realize what we had sacrificed by blindly mimicking men. We watched as our children became strangers and soon recognized the privilege we'd given up.

And so only now-given the choice-women in the West are choosing to stay home to raise their children. According to the United States Department of Agriculture, only 31 percent of mothers with babies, and 18 percent of mothers with two or more children, are working full-time. And of those working mothers, a survey conducted by Parenting Magazine in 2000, found that 93% of them say they would rather be home with their kids, but are compelled to work due to 'financial obligations' . These 'obligations' are imposed on women by the gender sameness of the modern West, and removed from women by the gender distinctiveness of Islam.

It took women in the West almost a century of experimentation to realize a privilege given to Muslim women 1400 years ago.

Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade myself by trying to be something I'm not--and in all honesty--don' t want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness.

If given a choice between stoic justice and compassion, I choose compassion. And if given a choice between worldly leadership and heaven at my feet - I choose Heaven.

10 Tips to Fight Depression

By Abdul Malik Mujahid

Feeling down in the dumps, depressed, having the blues: these are just some of the terms used to describe a feeling of hopelessness and despair that can hit even the most optimistic of us at some point in our lives. While clinical depression requires proper professional treatment, the occasional feeling of sadness due to factors ranging from economic difficulty to harassment and discrimination can be helped through some simple spiritual practices. Here are a couple that can help:

1. Look at those below you

The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Whenever you see someone better than you in wealth, face or figure, you should look at someone who is inferior to you in these respects” (Bukhari, Muslim).If you are reading this article online, consider this: you are one of the lucky set of human beings on the planet who can afford a computer and internet connection or at least have access to one.
The United Nations Development Program's 2007 Human Development Report notes that there are still around 1 billion people living worldwide at the margins of survival on less than $1 a day, with 2.6 billion living on less than $2 a day.
Also consider that in the Quran (14:7), God says that if you are thankful to Him for what you have, He blesses you with more.

2. Serve your fellow human beings

The best way to thank God is to serve humanity, especially those who have less than you. Serving others is uplifting and rewarding. It helps us gain a better perspective on life's challenges, making us realize how very often, are problems seem so small compared to the awesome difficulties others face.
That's why when the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, and the Muslims were a small, poor and persecuted community, they used to give to the poor even more. They understood that when you are generous when you have less, you achieve the perspective of a winner. You are focused on the bigger picture.

3. Read Surah Ad Duha

According to one report, after the Prophet had begun receiving revelation from God, at one point a long period of time passed with no such communication from Allah. As a result, the Makkans ridiculed the Prophet and he became severely depressed. That's when this chapter was revealed (Quran 93: 1-11). The chapter is a beautiful reminder to us to see life in the greater scheme of things, to be grateful for what we have and to never give up striving for what is right. This chapter of the Quran can be considered a direct recipe from God for depression.4. Turn to God in all situationsRemember that nothing can harm you without the consent of God. While you must take care of yourself, rely on God and know that He is always with you and only He can give you strength in difficult times. Also remember that He will help you can come out of a trying situation as a better person if you deal with it positively.

5. Remember God's Names

God has many beautiful Names which describe His attributes and powers. These are reminders of His Love, Mercy, Forgiveness, Justice, Strength and much, more. Supplicating to God using these Names reminds us that God has these attributes more than any other being and that we can and must rely on Him during good and bad times.

6. Say Hasbun Allahu wa Ni' mal Wakeel

This has been translated as "God suffices me and He is the best guardian." It is an excellent way of reminding us that whatever worries we have or problems we face, God has the answer and cure to all of them and is the only One who can really do what is best for us.

7. Make sure when you leave home, you read this Dua, ‘In the name of Allah, I place my trust in Allah, and there is no might nor power except with Allah.’ Bismillahe tawakkaltu alAllahe la haula wa la quwwata illa biAllah.

8. Take your spiritual break from the world, five times a day

Taking a break away from school, work or other life activities to spend a few minutes to remember God helps you reconnect with the Creator of the Universe, fortify your soul and strengthen your resolve to live a better life that is in tune with your faith and principles.

9. End your day on a good note

Shakespeare once wrote a play entitled “All's well that ends well.” That's good advice for dealing with depression too. End a day that may have been riddled with challenges and frustrations by making Wudu before going to bed, thinking of God and the Prophet and counting every blessing you have.

10. Stop Shaytan in his tracks

Shaytan is the source of many of our negative emotions. It's his job to make us feel pessimistic and to despair of any good in life. When you feel these feelings coming on, stop him dead in his tracks: say Aoutho billahi minash Shaytan ir Rajeem (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed satan).

Persevere...

Persevere, have faith in His benevolence.
Through afflictions God only tests your faith;
He is completely aware of your condition.
Have patience and wait for the divine decree.
Do not become like the foolish laborer who is removed from the king's palace for demanding his wages ahead of time.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"

Remembrance or Forgetfulness?

I had a discussion with a student yesterday. He asked me about a conversation he had with a co-worker, who, upon learning that my student liked to do zikr on his motorbike on his way to work, asked my student why he needed to say that particular surah so many times when, according to the Prophet (SAW), saying la ilaha illallah once with sincerity is sufficient. My student did not know how to answer his co-worker at the time. The incident reminded me of something my teacher taught me, so I relayed it to him. Based on what I was taught, the answer is, actually, quite simple and it lies in the Hadith Qudsi which states very clearly, "I am with My slave when he remembers me." Every moment in this life is an opportunity to be in one of two states -- that of remembrance or that of forgetfulness. To be in remembrance is when Allah returns the favor and remembers us, resulting in infinite goodness. To be otherwise is, well, otherwise. As such, after your one sincere moment of remembrance, what then? What do you do with the remaining moments? The Great Jihad is fought at this level -- in the heart and the mind. To live in remembrance as often as possible, or in forgetfulness. This is the choice we have as we go through this life and its string of moments.

Allah and His Creation...

God created suffering and heartache, so that joy might be known as their opposite.
Hidden things become manifest through their opposites.
But God has no opposite; so he remains hidden.
Light is known as the opposite of darkness.
But God's light has no opposite.
Thus we cannot know him through our eyes.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

Learning About Ourselves...

People differ greatly in the amount of anxiety and worry they can stand: some can endure a great deal without being adversely affected, while others soon show signs of strain.
You should observe yourself closely, so that you understand your own powers of endurance.
By this means you will learn to divest yourself before any harm is done.

-Razi: Kitab al-Muluki

The Miracle of Spiritual Healing....

Here's what Real Healing is all about.

With Forgiveness and Justice, we investigate your life and the validity of your limiting beliefs. Seen in the right light, all problems are understandable. Once they are understood properly (brought into consciousness), the lessons they are there are to teach us are learned and there is no further need for the problem. That's why we all need a healer: someone who can help us make sense of our lives. When your past is completely clear to you, your future becomes equally clear. The only reason we do not see clearly into the future is that we are attempting to view it through the unclear lense of the past. Spiritual Realization is the very foundation of our well-being, our health, happiness and prosperity. Bringing body and soul into alignment relieves the mind of its preoccupations and heart of its burdens. This allows our natural healing energies to operate freely and unencumbered within the body.

- Ali Ansari

Refraining from Wrongdoing

I once saw a Christian monk gaunt through self-sacrifice and doubled over by the fear of God.
I asked him to show me the path of God.
He replied, "If you knew God you would know the way to Him.
I worship Him although I do not know Him; you disobey Him though you know Him.
With knowledge comes fear, yet you are self-assured; with heresy ignorance, yet I feel fear within me."
His words moved me so deeply that since then I have refrained from wrongdoing.

-Abd'Allah bin Mubarak al-Marwazi, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

If You Wish to Shine Like the Daylight....

If you wish to shine like the daylight, burn up the night of self-importance.
Dissolve the self like copper in the elixir; dissolve in Him who fosters all existence.
But you are bound by the discord of "I" and "We."
The cause of your ruin is this sad dualism.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

Trust Your Heart!

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said: "…Righteousness is that about which the soul feels tranquil, and wrongdoing is that which wavers in the soul, and moves to and fro in the breast even though people again and again have given you their legal opnion [in its favor]."

(An Nawawi #27)

Come Against Your Will

Come against your will is the toggle of the intelligent;
Come willingly is the spring-time of those who have lost their hearts.

-Mathnawi [III, 4472]

Against your will is to go against your nafs; giving in to every desire by following your own whims is the path to self-destruction.

Allow God's Power to Pervade our Actions....

When we allow God’s power to pervade all our actions, and submit to his decrees, we shed all anxiety about the effects of our actions on others;
we cease even to consider the effects of our actions.
When we cease to consider the effects of our actions, we are adopting the attributes of God himself.

- Qushayri, "Risalah"

Ask Allah for the Remedy and Be Patient....

This world is full of remedies.
But you have no remedy until God opens a window for you.
You may not be aware of that remedy just now.
In the hour of need it will be made clear to you.
The Prophet said God made a remedy for every pain.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

What is Soul?

What is soul?
Soul is conscious of good and evil,
rejoicing over kindness, weeping over injury.
Since consciousness is the inmost nature and essence of the soul,
the more aware you are the more spiritual you are.
Awareness is the effect of the spirit:
anyone who has this in abundance is a man or woman of God.

- Rumi, Mathnawi [VI, 148-150]

The How is Chosen by Allah...

"Rabi'a," Hasan asked, "how have you attained such a degree of holiness?"
Rabi'a replied: "By losing in him all that I have attained."
Hasan asked, "How do you know God?"
Rabi'a replied: "You want to know how to know God. I know God, without knowing how to know him."

-Attar: Rabi'a

Knowledge Saves the Heart from Ignorance

Knowledge is the spirit that saves the heart from the death of ignorance;
it is the light that saves it from the darkness of iniquity.
The hearts of the iniquitous are dead because they are oblivious to God, and the hearts of the heedless are sick because they ignore His commandments.

-Abu Ali Thaqafi, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

A Leader Says So Much

If in the darkness of ignorance,
you don’t recognize a person’s true nature,
look to see whom he has chosen for his leader.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi" [IV, 1640]

This stanza speaks volumes....

Way to go Guys!

Terrific idea and effort by our youth....

Muslim Free Blood for Non-Muslims
By Ahmed Soliman, IOL Correspondent

The website has built up a worldwide database of more than 15,000 donors.

RIYADH — A brainchild of four technology-savvy young Saudis following the teachings of their faith, an online blood bank is assisting thousands of people, Muslims and non-Muslims in desperate need of blood donations.

"The website is serving Muslims and non-Muslims alike," Khalaf Al-Goudi, one of the founders of the http://www.freeblood.com/, told IslamOnline.net.

"It is quite often that a Muslim donates to a non-Muslim through our site," he added.

The website was established four years ago by Goudi, his cousin and two friends as a unique electronic blood bank that offers services to patients who need blood donations from around the world.

It has built up a worldwide database of more than 15,000 donors.

A person can visit the website and register as a blood donor or a patient who needs blood donations, providing information about city and country of residence, exact address, phone numbers and blood type.

The data are made available to those who badly need blood, hospitals as well as local and international blood banks.

The website clearly states that donors should not expect to be financially compensated for their donations.

"It is totally non-profit," says Goudi.

"The goal is to follow Islam's teachings of solidarity and helping others in need."

Efficient

The founders say their project offers an easy, accessible venue for donors and patients.
"It is more of a fast donor-patient link," says Goudi.

The four young Saudis were inspired by a situation they had experienced four years ago.
"There was this patient me and my cousin knew who needed a donation from a very rare blood type," Goudi recalls.

"When we went to the hospital's blood bank to ask for donors who can help him, they handed us this huge, tattered donors' record book.

"We were supposed to search it for donors who can help the patient."

The idea for the online blood bank was born only days after this experience.

"Six months later, the website was launched."

Goudi says he and the other founders were convinced that record books and paper archives can not be efficient in the age of computers and internet.

"A website would be much easier to access for both donors and patients, especially those who desperately need a life-saving blood donation," he maintains.

"All what it takes is one click and you have a list of donors who can help you out."

Pretension is a Veil

No denser veil than pretension exists between God and the devotee.
There is no closer way to God than spiritual impoverishment before Him.

-Tustari in ‘Attar: “Tadhkirat”

Enjoy Your Coffee!

A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, got together for a visit with their old university professor. The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general... Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal - some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite. Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee.

When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering...''You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is actually the source of much of your stress-related problems! ' He continued...''Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups... Then you began eyeing each other's cups....''

''Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Enjoy your coffee!''

The happiest people don't have the best of everything - they just make the best of everything they have... So please remember: Live simply. Love generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly. And remember - the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

See God in Everything...

Those who believe everything to be created by God see Him in everything.
They find comfort in regarding the Creator and not His creation.
All problems stem from the illusion that created things hold the ultimate power.
Turn to Him, therefore, if you seek deliverance.

-Al-Nuri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

Wahhabi Destruction of Madina...

Excerpts from

Nasiha li Ikhwanina ‘Ulama’ Najd

by

Shaykh as-Sayyid Yusuf al-Rifa‘i

translation by Dr. G.F. Haddad

On the ongoing Wahhabi destruction of Madina by the Saudis....

http://www.sunnah.org/arabic/mawldhouse/Wahabi_desecration_Sh_Rifai.htm

Do I Understand the World?

Assalamu alaykum Dear counselors..... I have a problem .... my son came 2 weeks ago to me and cried and said mum i don´t understand the world - how should I handle with the world? I looked at him and then thought he is only 20 years, have money, a car, studies medicine in one of the best universities, have a beautiful and religious wife, have kind parents, is good looking, have many friends, have a good health, so what is his problem??? So I asked him which problems do you have, why can´t you understand the world. He answeres with tears in his eyes: it is all very complicated I don´t understand the world - evil wins, people who hate me congratulate me to my birthday, which I don´t expect, and beloved ones didn´t congratulate me, all is running different: the good lose, the evil win, etc So how can I help him? Thank you


In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. May He bestow His peace and blessings on His messenger, Muhammad, his family, companions, and all of those who follow them sincerely.

Assalamualaikum,

Dear sister, yes, we do live in a world that often seems upside down. Your son is very perceptive in fact. Given that Allah has blessed him with so much, it is a refreshing sign to see someone who has so much be so concerned with the state of the world. What your son is echoing, in my opinion, is what many people, particularly young people, are feeling today. In many ways it is a very dark time we are living in with so much ignorance, hatred, inequality, oppression, violence and others occurring in the world. This is what your son is picking up on and it is indeed very difficult to understand. Nevertheless, as Muslims we must always seek understanding in our lives, for that is how we learn about Allah and his way of operating in the world.

First off, your son must understand that good never loses and evil never wins. Of course in this temporary world that may appear to be the case, but in Reality, in the world of Truth, only Allah exists and Allah is good. Evil, according to many erudite scholars and saints of Islam, only exists – is created by Allah – for the purpose of pointing mankind to good, to the all-pervading Mercy of Allah. Remember the Hadith Qudsi, “My mercy overcomes my wrath.” According to saints such as Jalaludin Rumi himself, evil only exists to point us human beings back to, and be grateful for the all-pervading Mercy of Allah. The following is from my last article on this website. It might help to put this in perspective:

“Everything is from Him. This was one of the first lessons I learned in Islam prior to my conversion six years ago. It is the peak of tawhid; simple, yet so important and powerful. EVERYTHING is from Allah. When we attempt to understand our lives in this way, through the eyes of tawhid, with Allah as the ultimate cause of everything (“Such is Allah, your Lord, the Creator of all things…” [40:62]), quite naturally we will seek understanding in our lives. We know Allah creates everything, we know Allah is the primary cause behind everything and we know that Allah is the Most Merciful and ultimate good. Thus, with everything that occurs in our lives, might we ask, “what are we to learn, oh Lord, and how should we respond to that which you have willed?” From this vantage point, we will naturally yearn to know what Allah wants us to do, which, in fact, we already have the answer – to know Him, as according to the Hadith Qudsi, “I was a hidden treasure that loved to be known, so I created creation so that I could be known.” Thus, Allah creates and manifests so that he can be known.

If it is the knowing of Him that Allah wants from us, does it not make sense that the manifestation of severity and rigor is Allah’s way of calling us back to Him and His all-pervading mercy and goodness? Could it be that the ‘whip’ of severity is the Creator’s way of reminding us of our ultimate purpose here? The Qur’an teaches us that there are three ways to know Allah: through revelation (i.e. the Qur’an), through creation, and through the Self.

One of the important roles that hardship plays in life is to facilitate introspection, to look toward the inside and better understanding of our innermost selves and heart. When we experience tragedy or calamity, often the first thing we do is go inside ourselves, seeking understanding and solace. It is an important soulful activity that must be done in order to fully realize our humanness. Part of the true self-surrendering to Allah (Al-Islam) must be to accept all of the Names of Allah, and to embrace all of the ways that He chooses to manifest Himself in our lives, including those perceived as severe or harsh. Not being appreciative of the mercy of Allah in our lives and merciful in our interactions with others will inevitably result in the experience of Allah’s wrath. For, to be neglectful in our role as the community of the ‘mercy to all the worlds’ (i.e. Prophet Muhammad (SAW)), is deserving of a Divine wake-up call.”

The craziness in the world that your son has picked up on is the result of all these human decisions to live lives in opposition to the Divine Reality and Allah’s guidance for mankind. Islam means ‘peace’ in that it is the way of life of unity – as a manifestation of tawhid, or the oneness of Allah. That is why the people of tawhid (i.e. the Muslims) should be the people showing the world how to live in unity and peace. Nevertheless, in too many cases, we are not. We are not exemplifying our way of life to bring peace. Allah says very simply in the Qur’an that he created us different for one reason – so that we can know one another.

“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)” (Al Hujraat:13).

Yet, we are not. Humanity as a whole is not. Therefore, we are shunning Allah’s mercy by turning away from His guidance and we are essentially getting what we have asked for, which is Allah’s wrath. What we can do from what we see happening around us is to get involved – even if it’s in a simple way like helping a loved or a neighbor. Allah records all of our good deeds, no matter how seemingly mundane they are.

“And the Book (of Deeds) will be placed (before you); and thou wilt see the sinful in great terror because of what is (recorded) therein; they will say, "Ah! woe to us! what a Book is this! It leaves out nothing small or great, but takes account thereof!" They will find all that they did, placed before them: And not one will thy Lord treat with injustice” (Al Kahf, 49).

The best way to respond to the craziness and negativity that we see around us is to transform it – by doing something good! Bring mercy, peace, love and understanding to someone – anyone for that matter.

“The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and thee there was enmity (will become) as though he was a bosom friend” (41:34).

If we all were to focus on these small things, in time, insha-Allah we would see things begin to transform for the better. We are all capable of doing good and bringing goodness into the world, we just have to do it. It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering change either. Remember what Rasulullah (SAW) told us about the importance of small deeds:

'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) did not observe fast in any month of the year more than in the month of Sha'ban, and used to say: “Do as many deeds as you are capable of doing, for Allah will not become weary (of giving you reward), but you would be tired (of doing good deeds); and he also said: The deed liked most by Allah is one to which the doer adheres constantly even if it is small.” (Muslim, Book 006, Number 2582)

Narrated Abu Hurayrah: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “A man never did a good deed but removed a thorny branch from the road; it was either in the tree and someone cut it and threw it on the road, or it was lying in it, he removed it. Allah accepted this good deed of his and brought him into Paradise.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 41, Number 5225)

There are many great scholars who have written on this subject. Here are a few good sources for more knowledge and information:

http://www.surrenderworks.com/library/approach/index.html

http://www.crescentlife.com/spirituality/rumi


I hope this helps your son in some small way.

Nothingness and the Void

Love is the flame which, when it blazes,
consumes everything other than the Beloved.
The lover wields the sword of Nothingness
in order to dispatch all but God:
consider what remains after Nothing.
There remains but God: all the rest is gone.
Praise to you, O mighty Love, destroyer of all other "gods."

-Rumi, Mathnawi [V, 588-590]

I love this piece by Rumi, for it speaks so much to the contemporary world where so many of us spend our days and nights trying to fill ourselves with 'stuff'. We use music, entertainment, work, family, and endless mental chatter to fill that spiritual void we feel inside. What we fail to realize is that the more we try to fill that void with worldliness, the deeper the void grows. Its a temporary salve that fails to reach the goal, and in fact, only increases our attachment to the temporal. What Rumi is saying (at least to me) is that 'la ilaha illallah' becomes truly actualized only when we arrive at a state of total peace with nothingness, for it is in nothingness that everything -- every possible distraction, including even our own thoughts - is stripped away. Only presence remains and only then does God reign supreme in our hearts. Rather than trying to fill the inner void with more 'stuff', we should seek surrender and peace with it -- sit with it, if you will, and learn to just be.

Islam - Religion of Peace

Renewing peace between two aggrieved parties surpasses ritual praying, fasting, and almsgiving.

-Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Darda'a

Be Ready to Receive Light...

If you wish for light, be ready to receive light.
Nourish your ego and be deprived of light.
If you wish to find a way out of this prison,
do not turn away;
bow down in worship and draw near.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

Allah Enjoins...

Allah enjoins justice and kindness, and in giving alms to kinsfolk,
He forbids indecency and abomination and oppression.
He exhorts you that you may take heed.

-Qur'an, An-Nahl, Surah 16:90

On Materialism.... Our Number One Ailment Today?

We are always asked and instructed to choose eternity over temporal matter, the short-term and the earthly engagements that we cling to so heavily. Yet, because of our doubt, suspicion, fear, and willful ego attachments, we get stuck and lose our perspective. We cling heavily to the earth. Over and over again, we slam head-first, like a head-on collision, into the earth (materialism). We mistakenly thought that the earthly things that we cling to would give us comfort. Indeed they don't! There is never enough money for us here. There is never enough beauty for us here. There's never enough food, pleasure, partners, power or years to be alive.

In spite of feeling grateful, truly thankful, for life, family, beauty and for our time on earth, our limitless longing is never completely satisfied by things. Our limitless longing, infinite desire, always has us wanting more. As Baba Anandamurti has perfectly stated, "There exists in the living being a thirst for limitlessness." That thirst is unlimited; therefore, limited things cannot quench it. So why do we cling so heavily to the earth? What is wrong with us? If we truly believe ... then what is wrong with us? Do we still prefer the life of this world to the hereafter, even after it has been proven within the scope of our own lives that the attachments that we have formed, and our willful nature, do not provide us comfort? Our willful nature does not satisfy human longing, but our willing nature will, both for ourselves as well as for those to whom we willingly give.

"How can you reject the faith in Allah? Seeing that you were without life and Allah gave you life, then will Allah cause you to die and will again bring you to life. And again to Allah will you return. It is Allah who has created for you all things that are on the earth. Moreover Allah's design comprehended the heavens for Allah gave the order and perfection to the seven firmaments. And of all things Allah has perfect knowledge." SURAH AL-BAQARA, 2:28-29

-Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi

Seek the Essence, Not the Structure

Little by little God takes beauty away.
Little by little life's luster decays.
Listen to the passage, "To whom We grant a long life, those We cause to decline."
Seek the essence and not the structure.
The beauty of heart shall forever abide, for it is enriched with the water of life.

- Rumi, "Mathnawi"


In my view, what ails us today is this inability or lack of desire to discriminate between essence and form. We strive and strive and strive for those things that are real only to our senses and thus only real to this world, yet have no care to know what those objects represent. We are cutoff from Reality because we cannot see beyond the surface of things. We spend our days and nights killing ourselves for titles, fortune and status and have the nerve to claim that we are doing so 'for the glory of the Ummah.' What rubbish! We are blind to the Real because we do not seek the essence, the truth, the real meaning behind the appearances. We hide behind appearances of piety while our hearts are empty of true love. The things of this world are mere representations, yet we remain fixated on their physical value and worth. How can we ever claim to know God who is Himself unseen if we lack the desire and ability to see beyond the outer appearances of things? How can we truly be worshipping God if we do not know Him out of our lack of desire to go beyond the surface and find the deeper meaning of what He Creates? Seeking the world is seeking the world. There is no way to gift wrap it and make it something it is not, which is a heart that is filled with other than God.

Do Not Burden Others, Be Burdened By Them

"Do not burden people according to your own pleasure, but burden yourselves according to their pleasures so long as they do not violate the Shari'a."

- Imam Al-Ghazali, Ayyuha l-Walad, 131

Trying to be Godly or Like God?

Sometimes servants of God try to behave like the Lord, without a doubt.
Sometimes servants of God behave like servants.
When they behave like servants, they are truly like the Lord.
When they behave like the Lord, they are in a sorry condition.

- Ibn Arabi, "Fusus al-hikam"

The Creatures as Veils

God made the creatures as veils.
He who knows them as such is led back to Him,
but he who takes them as real is barred from His presence.

~ Ibn al-Arabi

Poverty

Poverty is not complete until one likes giving more than receiving.

-Abu Hafs Haddad in "'Attar: Tadhkirat"

Submit Before the Will of God

If you are destined for good fortune you will be blessed;
if afflictions have been ordained, no matter where you hide they will seek you out.
Submit therefore before the will of God;
be grateful in well-being and endure adversity with fortitude that His light may radiate within your being.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, Futhul Ghaib

Practice Patience

Practice patience; it is the essence of praise.
Have patience, for that is true worship.
No other worship is worth as much.
Have patience; patience is the key to all relief.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

How Allah Keeps us Attracted to Him....

Since Allah (God) wants us to know him in all his Majesty and Glory, He continues to create interesting puzzles to attract us to Him. For the architect, architecture, for the psychologist psychology, and for the healer, the Oneness of ALL with God...

- Ali Ansari

What We Do With Every Moment Determines Our Identity

It’s not about who you are, i.e. your identity, but rather whether you are truly conscious every moment. For the one who is preoccupied with trying to be someone or something cannot be truly conscious, for his or her mind is being used for the remembrance of self rather than God.

The Path to God through Prayer

Prayer is an instrument through which novices find their path to God.
Thus ablution symbolizes repentance;
the Qibla, a spiritual guide;
standing in prayer becomes self-mortification;
the recitation of the Qur’an, inner meditation;
bowing the head, humility;
prostration, self-knowledge;
profession of faith, intimacy;
and salutation becomes detachment from the world and bondage of stations.

-Al-Hujwiri, “The Kashf al-Mahjub”

Adversity is the Threshold to Freedom

Do not be ruled by lust; seek freedom by following the righteous.
Mere claims of piety will not earn you inner freedom.
Remain patient in adversity to attain peace, for adversity is the threshold to freedom.
Those who cannot persevere are held back from the doors of Mercy.

- Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani

God is the Real Provider

Do not seek sustenance from people.
God is the real Provider.
If He wills a certain person to be the means of your livelihood, do not consider that person to be in control of your destiny.
Have faith and be certain in the knowledge that your daily bread does not depend upon any mortal, but upon God who created all.

- Al-Hajwiri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

Healing Children....

Forcing the issue! (As children) we won't manifest (our best) as long as there is something else on our minds. And what's always on our minds? At the root of it is the dilemma of the need for self-justification, arising from an unwanted and unconscious compulsion to please our parents or to try to escape from pleasing our parents. So to that I say this. This attempt to please our parents is the root of all neuroses. It is our search for unconditional love. But even after we've found unconditional love it's hard for us to release our neurosis, our neurotic searching. Putting our neuroses back where they came from is integral to self healing. Children can never please their parents, it's impossible and they shouldn't have to. Parents must be pleased with their children, which means they must first be pleased with themselves. If they are not (and how many do you know that are?), they look to be pleased and project their need to be pleased onto their children. In effect, they put their children in the position of needing to please them - which can never be done because they cannot be pleased if they are not already. But if children can negotitate the shift from pleasing their parents to healing them, they can set themselves free and gain the approval they're looking for.

- Ali Ansari

Perfection on the Inside

When you purify your hearts just as you purify your raiment, union with God will follow.
You cannot become a Sufi by merely wearing coarse woolen shirts and following strict ritual, pretending to be pious while inside your hearts you bear malice and avarice.
A real Sufi has attained a state of perfection on the inside.
If you sincerely seek union with God, then seek Him inside your hearts and leave the world alone.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, “Fayuz E Yazdani”

Two Instruments

If you devote yourself to God in this world,
He will admit you among His chosen servants in the hereafter.
Such devotion, however, demands sacrifice and self-denial, the two instruments that make union with God possible.

-Al-Hujwiri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

The Night is Gone....

Lord, the night is gone.
The dawn has lighted the sky.
How I long to know if You accepted or rejected my prayers.
Comfort me, Lord, for only you can comfort this state of mine.
You gave me life and nurtured me; Yours is all the praise.
If You would ever drive me away from Your door, I would never abandon it for the sake of Your love, which I carry in my heart.

-Rabi'a, "Rabi'a the Mystic"

How Transcendent and Immaculate is Allah

How transcendent and immaculate is God!
He has neither place, nor time, nor beginning, nor temporal continuity, nor posterior eternity, nor temporal priority, nor terminal end, and yet all the while, He is neither occupied with, nor seeks succor from, that which He has brought into being.
Nonetheless, He is just in all affairs wherein His commandments are issued to people.

- Shibli in Sarraj Tusi: "Kitab al-luma"