One thing it might help to remember is that this life is not really all about you and you personal happiness, and when you make it such, that's when you make yourself unhappy.
This life is about Me, and knowing Me and loving Me in every moment, in every pleasure and in every pain.
In fact, pleasures and pains are quite alike in that they are both simply tests of your love for Me. They are able to distract you or able to strengthen you in your love and devotion to Me.
If you turn away from pleasure and you turn away from pain, then you will truly be My slave and know My Love and Appreciation.
It is through the self that you know Me, but not for the sake of the self but for My sake.
It is through the self that you see the Land, and through the Land that you see the self.
But focus on the Land, not the self.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Sitting with your Dissatisfaction...
Sitting with your dissatisfaction seems to mean being at peace with your conflict.
If you're involved in your conflict, then you have vested interest, you have conflicting interests, a conflict of interests; you are on one side in favor of that and against another, if you are involved with your conflict.
If you are at peace with your conflict, then you are not involved with it and you can resolve it. Basically what that means is to find peace first and then resolve your conflict.
The process of healing is the process of finding your peace.
From there you can resolve what we call residuals.
That's why we surrender first, then we can learn our faith (Iman) from experience.
- Ali Ansari
If you're involved in your conflict, then you have vested interest, you have conflicting interests, a conflict of interests; you are on one side in favor of that and against another, if you are involved with your conflict.
If you are at peace with your conflict, then you are not involved with it and you can resolve it. Basically what that means is to find peace first and then resolve your conflict.
The process of healing is the process of finding your peace.
From there you can resolve what we call residuals.
That's why we surrender first, then we can learn our faith (Iman) from experience.
- Ali Ansari
Friday, May 25, 2007
Punishing Kids...
As long as families have to exist in a permissive culture, psychologically healthy families need more than healthy communication. Children also need to be punished when they have done something wrong. After all, punishment is a part of the reconciliation process, and unpunished guilt can cause psychological problems of its own.
As I said in the previous section, punishment is just a simple psychological technique to decrease specific behavior. But to be effective, it must be used properly. The punishment, then, must be just: it must be consistent, fair, and adequate to the transgression. And it must be tempered with mercy.
In its psychological sense, mercy means to withhold some—or all—of the punishment demanded by justice if the guilty person shows deep sorrow for his or her behavior. But this is just the easy part. A parent can’t expect to administer punishment by remaining uninvolved. In fact, to administer punishment is to get involved.
Don’t expect to take away a child’s driving privileges and then say, “Well, you need to drive to school, so you can use the car for that. Just come home right after school.” What child couldn’t see through that nonsense—and learn to abuse it immediately? So wake up. You will have to drive your child to and from school, no matter what the inconvenience to you. Don’t expect to confine a child to the house and then expect that you can come and go, leaving the child alone in the house, while saying “Don’t go anywhere.” Wake up again. You will have to stay home and monitor your child, never letting him or her leave your sight. Homework must be done under your supervision, not alone in a bedroom. Meals must be eaten together. Entertainment must be in your presence. Everything must be done in your presence, and, as a result—like it or not—you will be drawn closer to your child. Sound hard? Well, that’s why there are so many family problems: the parents are always too busy to really get involved in the punishment. In the end, you have to accept the fact that the punishment will hurt the parent as much as the child. If it doesn’t, it will never be effective.
- Raymond Lloyd Richmond, PhD
As I said in the previous section, punishment is just a simple psychological technique to decrease specific behavior. But to be effective, it must be used properly. The punishment, then, must be just: it must be consistent, fair, and adequate to the transgression. And it must be tempered with mercy.
In its psychological sense, mercy means to withhold some—or all—of the punishment demanded by justice if the guilty person shows deep sorrow for his or her behavior. But this is just the easy part. A parent can’t expect to administer punishment by remaining uninvolved. In fact, to administer punishment is to get involved.
Don’t expect to take away a child’s driving privileges and then say, “Well, you need to drive to school, so you can use the car for that. Just come home right after school.” What child couldn’t see through that nonsense—and learn to abuse it immediately? So wake up. You will have to drive your child to and from school, no matter what the inconvenience to you. Don’t expect to confine a child to the house and then expect that you can come and go, leaving the child alone in the house, while saying “Don’t go anywhere.” Wake up again. You will have to stay home and monitor your child, never letting him or her leave your sight. Homework must be done under your supervision, not alone in a bedroom. Meals must be eaten together. Entertainment must be in your presence. Everything must be done in your presence, and, as a result—like it or not—you will be drawn closer to your child. Sound hard? Well, that’s why there are so many family problems: the parents are always too busy to really get involved in the punishment. In the end, you have to accept the fact that the punishment will hurt the parent as much as the child. If it doesn’t, it will never be effective.
- Raymond Lloyd Richmond, PhD
Speaking to Children...How to Say 'No'
I’m always deeply saddened when someone attempts to discourage a child’s behavior by saying, “You don’t want to do that.” But of course the child wants to do that! It’s perfectly obvious he wants to do it, or he wouldn’t be trying. So why confuse the child by denying what you both know is perfectly true?
Here, then, is a special hint on how to say “No” to a child without causing psychological hurt. You do this by acknowledging what the child wants and then, without making the child feel guilty or bad simply for having childish desires, explain why the child cannot have what he or she wants.
To a young child say the following:
I know you want to [have some candy, play in the water, chase the birds, whatever . . .] and there are times when you can’t always have what you want.
To an older child (or another adult, for that matter) try saying something like this:
I know that you really would like to [stay out past dark, bungee jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, or whatever . . .] and [the danger of getting mugged, the law, insurance regulations, etc.] just won’t allow it.
The point of such statements is to show the child (a) that you recognize and respect the child’s desire and (b) that since the world is filled with conflicting desires, one’s own desires can’t always be fulfilled. This is an important lesson for children to learn. (Too bad most adults haven’t learned it.)
Said in another way, it’s not that the child’s desire is wrong, it’s simply that, because the world is unfair, all desires cannot always be fulfilled. It’s important to learn that apparent “evil” is, in many cases, simply the conflict between two “goods.” This is why you use the word and, rather than but, between the two parts of your statement.
- Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D.
Here, then, is a special hint on how to say “No” to a child without causing psychological hurt. You do this by acknowledging what the child wants and then, without making the child feel guilty or bad simply for having childish desires, explain why the child cannot have what he or she wants.
To a young child say the following:
I know you want to [have some candy, play in the water, chase the birds, whatever . . .] and there are times when you can’t always have what you want.
To an older child (or another adult, for that matter) try saying something like this:
I know that you really would like to [stay out past dark, bungee jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, or whatever . . .] and [the danger of getting mugged, the law, insurance regulations, etc.] just won’t allow it.
The point of such statements is to show the child (a) that you recognize and respect the child’s desire and (b) that since the world is filled with conflicting desires, one’s own desires can’t always be fulfilled. This is an important lesson for children to learn. (Too bad most adults haven’t learned it.)
Said in another way, it’s not that the child’s desire is wrong, it’s simply that, because the world is unfair, all desires cannot always be fulfilled. It’s important to learn that apparent “evil” is, in many cases, simply the conflict between two “goods.” This is why you use the word and, rather than but, between the two parts of your statement.
- Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Beware the Black Stain of the Heart
When a believer gives in to temptation, a black stain appears on his heart.
If he repents and asks for forgiveness, that stain disappears.
But if he continues to transgress, the stain continues to grow until it blackens the entire heart. That stain is the rust the Lord Almighty refers to: "Nay, rust has fallen upon their hearts for what they have earned."
-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Hurairah
If he repents and asks for forgiveness, that stain disappears.
But if he continues to transgress, the stain continues to grow until it blackens the entire heart. That stain is the rust the Lord Almighty refers to: "Nay, rust has fallen upon their hearts for what they have earned."
-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Hurairah
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Subdue the Lower Soul
The lower soul dissuades from conforming to faith.
The more the self is subdued, the easier it becomes to glorify God.
When the ego is annihilated, worship becomes sustenance, just as it sustains the angels.
-Al-Hujwiri, “The Kashf al-Mahjub”
The more the self is subdued, the easier it becomes to glorify God.
When the ego is annihilated, worship becomes sustenance, just as it sustains the angels.
-Al-Hujwiri, “The Kashf al-Mahjub”
Looking for God...
God is in the water of the lake;
He is also in the cracked bed of the lake, when the lake has dried up.
God is in the abundant harvest;
He is also in the famine that occurs when the harvest fails.
God is in the lightning; He is also in the darkness, when the lightning has faded....
Brothers and sisters, you pile up stones to make shrines, imagining that God will make Himself present there.
Then you are surprised when these shrines do not ease your cares and worries.
-Hallaj, "Tawasin"
He is also in the cracked bed of the lake, when the lake has dried up.
God is in the abundant harvest;
He is also in the famine that occurs when the harvest fails.
God is in the lightning; He is also in the darkness, when the lightning has faded....
Brothers and sisters, you pile up stones to make shrines, imagining that God will make Himself present there.
Then you are surprised when these shrines do not ease your cares and worries.
-Hallaj, "Tawasin"
Friday, May 11, 2007
Beautiful Du'a
My Lord, how great my desire to meet You, how earnest my hope of Your reward. O Most Gracious, Hope of all hope, O Adored by all, if I be unworthy of You, and my endeavors not deserving of devotion, then gladly shall I confess to my infirmities, my sins. For who could be more forgiving than Yourself? But should You choose to chastise me, I will satisfy myself in the knowledge that no one could be more just than You.
-Sha'wanna, "Rabi'a the Mystic"
-Sha'wanna, "Rabi'a the Mystic"
I Am With My Slave When He Remembers Me...
Remembrance is not remembered.
I do not remember whether or not God remembered me in the past; He remembers me now. God does not remember whether I remembered Him in the past; I remember Him now.
His remembrance is my remembrance, and mine is His.
Can two beings who remember one another not be in union?
-Hallaj: Tawasin
I do not remember whether or not God remembered me in the past; He remembers me now. God does not remember whether I remembered Him in the past; I remember Him now.
His remembrance is my remembrance, and mine is His.
Can two beings who remember one another not be in union?
-Hallaj: Tawasin
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Real Learning
Real learning, real understanding doesn't come from the collection of intellectual data. We all know that there's a big difference between knowing about something and knowing it directly. True knowing is in being and experiencing. Philosophy conjectures what might be possible, realization confirms the Reality as an experience.
There's a difference between actually smelling the scent of a rose and reading a whole book of poetry about the beautiful rose by someone who smelled one. Do you know what makes the rose poetry beautiful? It is after you've already smelled one for yourself that you can remember and recognize the essence of the rose through the recall of your direct experience.
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
There's a difference between actually smelling the scent of a rose and reading a whole book of poetry about the beautiful rose by someone who smelled one. Do you know what makes the rose poetry beautiful? It is after you've already smelled one for yourself that you can remember and recognize the essence of the rose through the recall of your direct experience.
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
Monday, April 30, 2007
The Importance of Ego
An absolute and all-encompassing entity has no limits or terms, and therefore cannot be shaped or formed, and cannot be determined in such a way that its essential nature can be comprehended. For example, light undetermined by darkness cannot be known or perceived. However, light can be determined if a real or hypothetical bounding line of darkness is drawn.
In the same way, the Divine Attributes and Names (e.g., Knowledge, Power, Wisdom, and Compassion) cannot be determined, for they are all-encompassing and have no limits or like. Thus what they essentially are cannot be known or perceived. A hypothetical boundary is needed for them to become known.
In our case, this hypothetical boundary is our ego. Ego imagines within itself a fictitious lordship, power, and knowledge, and so posits a bounding line, hypothesizes a limit to the all-encompassing Attributes, and says: ‘This is mine, and the rest is His.’ Ego thus makes a division. By means of the miniature measure it contains, ego slowly comes to understand the true nature of the Divine Attributes and Names. Through this imagined lordship, ego can understand the Lordship of the Creator of the universe. By means of its own apparent ownership, it can understand the real Ownership of its Creator, saying: ‘As I am the owner of this house, the Creator is the Owner of this creation.’ Through its partial knowledge, ego comes to understand His Absolute Knowledge. Through its defective, acquired art, it can intuit the Exalted Fashioner’s primary, originative art.
- Said Nursi
In the same way, the Divine Attributes and Names (e.g., Knowledge, Power, Wisdom, and Compassion) cannot be determined, for they are all-encompassing and have no limits or like. Thus what they essentially are cannot be known or perceived. A hypothetical boundary is needed for them to become known.
In our case, this hypothetical boundary is our ego. Ego imagines within itself a fictitious lordship, power, and knowledge, and so posits a bounding line, hypothesizes a limit to the all-encompassing Attributes, and says: ‘This is mine, and the rest is His.’ Ego thus makes a division. By means of the miniature measure it contains, ego slowly comes to understand the true nature of the Divine Attributes and Names. Through this imagined lordship, ego can understand the Lordship of the Creator of the universe. By means of its own apparent ownership, it can understand the real Ownership of its Creator, saying: ‘As I am the owner of this house, the Creator is the Owner of this creation.’ Through its partial knowledge, ego comes to understand His Absolute Knowledge. Through its defective, acquired art, it can intuit the Exalted Fashioner’s primary, originative art.
- Said Nursi
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Religion....
If we are merely involved in religion through the taking of measurements,
the study of statistics and the rote memorization of scriptures, but have no direct experience of God, then the religion, philosophy and study become our God instead.
God is no longer God; the study about God is God.
Yet, if we never apply ourselves to the task of learning Allah's "ways" through discipline, obedience and study, we will not be ready or able to experience that which is beyond our own limitations.
On the other hand, if we want the direct experience but haven't prepared ourselves with organization and discipline, then we've abandoned our responsibility in the world.
We have deserted the structure that gives us the moral integrity and personal and emotional strength that allows for true experience!
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
the study of statistics and the rote memorization of scriptures, but have no direct experience of God, then the religion, philosophy and study become our God instead.
God is no longer God; the study about God is God.
Yet, if we never apply ourselves to the task of learning Allah's "ways" through discipline, obedience and study, we will not be ready or able to experience that which is beyond our own limitations.
On the other hand, if we want the direct experience but haven't prepared ourselves with organization and discipline, then we've abandoned our responsibility in the world.
We have deserted the structure that gives us the moral integrity and personal and emotional strength that allows for true experience!
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Find Out Who You Really Are
One great Saint of our century, Meher Baba, once said,
"Desire for nothing but to be desireless.
Hope for nothing but to be beyond all hope.
Want nothing and you will have everything."
One who is like this no longer has the cycle of suffering in their life,
because they let go of everything that was not who they really are.
This is the crux right here,
let go of the things that are not really you to find out who you really are.
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
"Desire for nothing but to be desireless.
Hope for nothing but to be beyond all hope.
Want nothing and you will have everything."
One who is like this no longer has the cycle of suffering in their life,
because they let go of everything that was not who they really are.
This is the crux right here,
let go of the things that are not really you to find out who you really are.
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
Monday, April 09, 2007
The Secret Conversation
God, the supreme being, is neither circumscribed by space, nor touched by time;
he cannot be found in a particular direction, and his essence cannot change.
The secret conversation is thus entirely spiritual;
it is a direct encounter between God and the soul, abstracted from all material constraints.
-Ibn Sina, "Kitab al-Najat"
he cannot be found in a particular direction, and his essence cannot change.
The secret conversation is thus entirely spiritual;
it is a direct encounter between God and the soul, abstracted from all material constraints.
-Ibn Sina, "Kitab al-Najat"
The Highest Person
The highest person is he who is of most use to humankind.
-'Ali bin Abi Talib, "Masters of the Path"
-'Ali bin Abi Talib, "Masters of the Path"
Friday, April 06, 2007
Truth
Truth is in the understanding, the realization of the difference between that which is permanent and real, and that which is impermanent or changing. That is Truth.
Truth is located in the real, in the permanent, in the absolute.
The definition of Truth in this sense, as in this verse, is the Truth that is so "true" that it cannot be changed, and that it is never ending -- Permanent Truth, the Underlying Reality, the Supreme Reality of all things. Truth.
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
Truth is located in the real, in the permanent, in the absolute.
The definition of Truth in this sense, as in this verse, is the Truth that is so "true" that it cannot be changed, and that it is never ending -- Permanent Truth, the Underlying Reality, the Supreme Reality of all things. Truth.
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
Complete Faith or Blind Faith?
Complete faith is different from blind faith, because complete faith offers a relationship with God/Allah that allows one to actually feel and experience.
"My Lord, at this moment, whether life seems good or bad, uncomfortable or luxurious, understandable or perplexing, confusing or clear, whether You are hidden from me or whether You appear to me, it doesn't matter. I trust in You. Your course work is Your custom design for me for whatever I need completely."
This is an understanding of complete faith not blind faith.
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
"My Lord, at this moment, whether life seems good or bad, uncomfortable or luxurious, understandable or perplexing, confusing or clear, whether You are hidden from me or whether You appear to me, it doesn't matter. I trust in You. Your course work is Your custom design for me for whatever I need completely."
This is an understanding of complete faith not blind faith.
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Shari'ah in our Times...
"I am compelled to say I personally find the article interesting, but not "excellent". It seems that Tawfik Hamid has no knowledge of Islam and of Shari'ah, except for what he learnt inside Jama'at Islamiyyah. That is the reason why he confuses the dictates of Shari'ah with the aberrant way in which Shari'ah is re-interpreted by terrorist groups. That is the reason why he forges against the Shari'ah of Islam some accusations which are to be directed only toward the perverted notion of "Shari'ah" which is common among deviant non-Sunni groups.
When he writes "Shariah, for example, allows apostates to be killed, permits beating women to discipline them, seeks to subjugate non-Muslims to Islam as dhimmis and justifies declaring war to do so. It exhorts good Muslims to exterminate the Jews before the "end of days", none of his claims has a base in Shari'ah.
Shari'ah only permits to kill an apostate when there exists a state of war, and when the apostate is considered guilty of treachery in war because of his apostasy. Even in this case, an autorization from the Caliph or of his deputy is needed for execution. Since in our time there exist no Caliph who could order the execution of an apostate during a war, the Shari'ah - contrary to what Tawfik Hamid claims - STRICTLY FORBIDS killing apostates, and consider those who kill an apostate GUILTY OF MURDER.
As for beating women "beating" women, the Shari'ah explain that it is an extreme measure, and should never exceed the force one can apply by BEATING WITH A HANDKERCHIEF. However, when the law of the State forbids it, even beating with a HANDKERCHIEF becomes forbidden, since obeying the Law of the State in everything which does not contradicts Islam IS COMPULSORY according to the Shari'ah.
As for Jews and Christians, the Shari'ah dictates TO PROTECT THEIR LIVES, THEIR FAMILIES AND THEIR BELONGING AS DHIMMIS, and an Arab should know that the word dhimmi means "they one who must be protected" and not "the one who must be subjugated. Apart from this, the Shari'ah also forbid resorting to cohercion in matter of religion. War is justified by Shari'ah as a mean for self-defense, and not as a mean of cohericing others. The claim according to which the Shari'ah of Islam "exhorts good Muslims to exterminate the Jews before the "end of days", is the upmost of ridiculous, since from the time of Omar Ibn al-Khattab, then of Salahu-d-Din al-Ayyubi, no one of the Muslim rulers who strictly applied the Shari'ah ever tried to "exterminate the Jews", but rather PROTECTED THEM against those who wanted to exterminate them, to the point that the same Babylonian Talmud deals with Umar ibn al-Khattab in very positive terms.
If a conclusion can be deduced from Tawfik Hamid's article, is that he is still enwrapped in the horrible counterfeit version of Islam and Shari'ah which is typical of groups he was involved with. Today he openly condemns was in the past he entusiastically appproved. It is a progress, but is not enough. He must realize that his involvement in criminal gangs like Jama'at Islamiyyah also depended on his deep ignorance of Islam and its Shari'ah. Now that he recognizes the evil neture of those gangs, he also needs to learn Islam for the beginning, instead on blaming what he goes on ignoring as he did before."
- Shaykh Prof. Abdul Hadi Palazzi
Director, Cultural Institute of the Italian Islamic Community
When he writes "Shariah, for example, allows apostates to be killed, permits beating women to discipline them, seeks to subjugate non-Muslims to Islam as dhimmis and justifies declaring war to do so. It exhorts good Muslims to exterminate the Jews before the "end of days", none of his claims has a base in Shari'ah.
Shari'ah only permits to kill an apostate when there exists a state of war, and when the apostate is considered guilty of treachery in war because of his apostasy. Even in this case, an autorization from the Caliph or of his deputy is needed for execution. Since in our time there exist no Caliph who could order the execution of an apostate during a war, the Shari'ah - contrary to what Tawfik Hamid claims - STRICTLY FORBIDS killing apostates, and consider those who kill an apostate GUILTY OF MURDER.
As for beating women "beating" women, the Shari'ah explain that it is an extreme measure, and should never exceed the force one can apply by BEATING WITH A HANDKERCHIEF. However, when the law of the State forbids it, even beating with a HANDKERCHIEF becomes forbidden, since obeying the Law of the State in everything which does not contradicts Islam IS COMPULSORY according to the Shari'ah.
As for Jews and Christians, the Shari'ah dictates TO PROTECT THEIR LIVES, THEIR FAMILIES AND THEIR BELONGING AS DHIMMIS, and an Arab should know that the word dhimmi means "they one who must be protected" and not "the one who must be subjugated. Apart from this, the Shari'ah also forbid resorting to cohercion in matter of religion. War is justified by Shari'ah as a mean for self-defense, and not as a mean of cohericing others. The claim according to which the Shari'ah of Islam "exhorts good Muslims to exterminate the Jews before the "end of days", is the upmost of ridiculous, since from the time of Omar Ibn al-Khattab, then of Salahu-d-Din al-Ayyubi, no one of the Muslim rulers who strictly applied the Shari'ah ever tried to "exterminate the Jews", but rather PROTECTED THEM against those who wanted to exterminate them, to the point that the same Babylonian Talmud deals with Umar ibn al-Khattab in very positive terms.
If a conclusion can be deduced from Tawfik Hamid's article, is that he is still enwrapped in the horrible counterfeit version of Islam and Shari'ah which is typical of groups he was involved with. Today he openly condemns was in the past he entusiastically appproved. It is a progress, but is not enough. He must realize that his involvement in criminal gangs like Jama'at Islamiyyah also depended on his deep ignorance of Islam and its Shari'ah. Now that he recognizes the evil neture of those gangs, he also needs to learn Islam for the beginning, instead on blaming what he goes on ignoring as he did before."
- Shaykh Prof. Abdul Hadi Palazzi
Director, Cultural Institute of the Italian Islamic Community
Real Men
Yesterday as I drove home from work as usual I was listening to "The Power" on XM radio, and they were wrapping up a discussion about what is a real man. I began to think more and more on the subject and realized I never really pondered this myself. I mean after all, I'm a man, so what makes a "real man"? The most I ever heard about the subject came from my uncle when I was 15 or so. I distinctly remember him telling me and my cousins that a man isn't defined by age, but more so by his responsibilities. He went on to add, once you have your own everything, and take care of it, then you begin to understand manhood. I knew that this was a covert criticism of one of my younger uncles, who at 26 or so, was still living home with grandma. Either way, I got the gist of the discussion, and to make a long story short, that was the last time I actually thought about it.
Over the years I have tried to be responsible and self-sufficient. I joined the Marine Corps fresh out of high school at 17 and I have been on my own ever since. I never borrowed money from my parents, and for the most part have been 100% self sufficient. It never once crossed my mind if these actions proved my "manhood" or not. Until yesterday that is.
Most have said and do say that I'm a "good" man. I mean, I'm on my second marriage, my 3rd serious relationship, and all the women I have ever been in a relationship with, well for the most part would agree that I have been honorable and took great care of them. I'm currently married with 5 little boys my marriage is happy and fun, we are doing good some would say great for a 25yr old with my "circumstances". I'm not trying to toot my own horn, just reflecting and wondering aloud of course, if this defines manhood.
As I went into reflection, as I often do these days, I realized the best and only way to define manhood for me would be in the context of my religious beliefs. It should be of no surprise to the readers of the blog and those that know me personally, that I context everything in accordance with my religion. So I sought out the Quran and decided to see what is said about this subject. What I came up with was various passages, that I believe would clear this question up, or at least place me in the right direction.
Allah declares in the Quran:"Men are the maintainers and protectors of Women". 4:34
"tell them that I have not created the invisible beings and men to any end other than that they may know and worship Me." 51:56
"then He forms him in accordance with what he is meant to be, and breathes into him of His spirit: and thus, O men, He endows you with hearing, and sight, and feelings as well as minds: yet how seldom are you grateful!"32:9
So from this I derived these thoughts: A "real man" protects and maintains women, knows and worships God, and lives in accordance to that which God created him to be.
This is obviously a "meaty" subject, actually more so than I originally intended as I began typing these thoughts, so its probably easier if I handle these three verses separately.
Men are the Protectors and Maintainers of Women
In my opinion a "real man" ensures that women have the rights endowed upon them from God to be free. That means they should be free to worship how they want, study how they want, work how they want etc. The maintenance part comes in through our support physically, mentally, and spiritually. Anytime we are non-supportive to our wives, sisters, mothers, or women in general, we are not maintaining them. Anytime especially as married men, we don't financially support our wives in a manner that gives her the freedom to choose or do what she pleases, we are not maintaining properly. Proper maintenance of a women to me, is when she is secure. Security means different things for different people and especially women, but the basics tend to be food, finances, and shelter. We must ensure women have places to live, food to eat, and the necessary finances to pursue her endeavours, whatever they may be. There really is no way around this, especially as a Muslim. That is why the Prophet of Islam(saw) instructed us men to only get married once we can afford it. A woman should only work when she wants to. She is our first teacher, leader, and guide, if we have her burdened because of our lack of maintenance, what happens to the next generation? Better yet, what has happened to the next generation? Protection of women is also physical, mental, and spiritual. Domestic violence is out of hand. There should never be a reason to put your hands on a woman. She is not your child, she is your equal and the mother of civilization. How can you put your hands on the woman God created as your direct equal? That's a slight against God, for without the women, where would we be? Verbal abuse is just as bad. I'm not going to go too deep with this, but when you see her, you should see all that is right with creation, for without her, nothing could continue. It is only through her that we begin to unravel the mysteries of God, which is actually locked away in her womb. Would you disrespect God? We have allowed our women to become mere objects, some would debate the responsibilities in this matter, but I'm putting it on us. Let me be blunt for a moment: Turn on your TV. Do you think for one minute that Mary the Mother of Jesus(saw) would be caught looking like that on television? Would you want to see your mother, sister, niece, aunt, etc. on the television shaking there backsides? Then why would you allow or even tolerate someone else,s family doing it? The mark of the believer is that they want for their brother what they have for themselves. So if its not OK for your daughter, why should it be alright for mine? I used Mary as an example, because we are taught in Islam that she was the most righteous woman to have walked the Earth and is an example to women and the world. We should support our women in such a way that they want to emulate Mary who through her all nations were blessed, instead of wanting our women to only fulfill our carnal and low desires. You can judge a nation and civilization by the way they treat their women. If this is in fact the true criterion, how would we measure up?
Knowledge and Worship of God
Brief and to the point. You can't know where your going until you understand where you have been. When we reflect on our origins, ancestry, etc. how can we not look back in awe. What's even greater than that awe is that there is an Active force behind it all that make all that we imagine possible. Why shouldn't you reverence that? Why shouldn't you reverence the Creator and Origin of all that is? Leaders must also be lead and are judged by that which they follow. If the head of life is not that which Originated you, or you don't even feel the need to respect and reverence your Origin, why should one follow you, if they rely on you to show them the way. If you don't even reverence where you came from, who wants a leader who can't possibly know where they are going? The study and knowledge of who we are and where we came from ends up with God. That knowledge should lead us to worship God. A "real man" in this instance, is one who has sense of direction, drive, and knows where he has been. Based off that knowledge, he knows where he is going. A "real man" has aim and purpose in life and has a plan, because we all know those who fail to plan, plan to fail. If God isn't what you reverence, isn't your center, or that which directs your life, than who or what is?
A "Real Man" lives in accordance to that which God created him to be
You have all read it before, maybe in different books, scriptures, etc. but the message in any form is consistent. From the Bible to the Quran and everywhere in between, we are told that God created us in His image and likeness, we should have the mind that was in Jesus(saw), or we were created to stand in the place of God on Earth. This is a great task and serious undertaking. What is this "image" of God that we are created in? What is this "mind" that Jesus(saw) had that we should have? What does it mean to stand in the place of God? I have been taught that God=force+power. Therefore, anything that exercises force and power over something else can for all intensive purposes, be a god. Anytime your environment controls you, whatever in that environment that exercises force and power over you is your god. If you can't look at another without sexual intention, lust is your god. If you can't be faithful to your spouse of significant other, sex has become your god. If you can't function without the desire for more money and things, greed amongst others is your god. That addiction or habit you can't seem to break, is your god. If we are created in the "image" of God then that means we have the ability to create and destroy within the context of our present reality. That means that our environment shouldn't change us, but we should change our environment and create and destroy it according to our will. The mind we should have that Jesus(saw) had is that of submission. It was due to his submission and faith that all thing were possible by him and through him. If we had that mind, our potential would be limitless. We are are own worst enemies. When we start to act in accordance with these rules we become the men we were created to be. We can stand in the place of God on Earth in our homes, neighborhoods, and lives. We can be the masters of our universe. "Real Men" realize their potential, actively pursue it, and use it in such a way, to create and environment pleasing to God. Life is what we make it, literally. We have the power, but we have to recognize it and use it. We humans reverence or at least should, all that God created so it makes sense to follow Him, what do you suppose would happen if we became god in our lives? Do you think our homes would be broken? Do you think our neighborhoods would be filled with crime? Do you think society would be the way it is?
- Robert Salaam
Over the years I have tried to be responsible and self-sufficient. I joined the Marine Corps fresh out of high school at 17 and I have been on my own ever since. I never borrowed money from my parents, and for the most part have been 100% self sufficient. It never once crossed my mind if these actions proved my "manhood" or not. Until yesterday that is.
Most have said and do say that I'm a "good" man. I mean, I'm on my second marriage, my 3rd serious relationship, and all the women I have ever been in a relationship with, well for the most part would agree that I have been honorable and took great care of them. I'm currently married with 5 little boys my marriage is happy and fun, we are doing good some would say great for a 25yr old with my "circumstances". I'm not trying to toot my own horn, just reflecting and wondering aloud of course, if this defines manhood.
As I went into reflection, as I often do these days, I realized the best and only way to define manhood for me would be in the context of my religious beliefs. It should be of no surprise to the readers of the blog and those that know me personally, that I context everything in accordance with my religion. So I sought out the Quran and decided to see what is said about this subject. What I came up with was various passages, that I believe would clear this question up, or at least place me in the right direction.
Allah declares in the Quran:"Men are the maintainers and protectors of Women". 4:34
"tell them that I have not created the invisible beings and men to any end other than that they may know and worship Me." 51:56
"then He forms him in accordance with what he is meant to be, and breathes into him of His spirit: and thus, O men, He endows you with hearing, and sight, and feelings as well as minds: yet how seldom are you grateful!"32:9
So from this I derived these thoughts: A "real man" protects and maintains women, knows and worships God, and lives in accordance to that which God created him to be.
This is obviously a "meaty" subject, actually more so than I originally intended as I began typing these thoughts, so its probably easier if I handle these three verses separately.
Men are the Protectors and Maintainers of Women
In my opinion a "real man" ensures that women have the rights endowed upon them from God to be free. That means they should be free to worship how they want, study how they want, work how they want etc. The maintenance part comes in through our support physically, mentally, and spiritually. Anytime we are non-supportive to our wives, sisters, mothers, or women in general, we are not maintaining them. Anytime especially as married men, we don't financially support our wives in a manner that gives her the freedom to choose or do what she pleases, we are not maintaining properly. Proper maintenance of a women to me, is when she is secure. Security means different things for different people and especially women, but the basics tend to be food, finances, and shelter. We must ensure women have places to live, food to eat, and the necessary finances to pursue her endeavours, whatever they may be. There really is no way around this, especially as a Muslim. That is why the Prophet of Islam(saw) instructed us men to only get married once we can afford it. A woman should only work when she wants to. She is our first teacher, leader, and guide, if we have her burdened because of our lack of maintenance, what happens to the next generation? Better yet, what has happened to the next generation? Protection of women is also physical, mental, and spiritual. Domestic violence is out of hand. There should never be a reason to put your hands on a woman. She is not your child, she is your equal and the mother of civilization. How can you put your hands on the woman God created as your direct equal? That's a slight against God, for without the women, where would we be? Verbal abuse is just as bad. I'm not going to go too deep with this, but when you see her, you should see all that is right with creation, for without her, nothing could continue. It is only through her that we begin to unravel the mysteries of God, which is actually locked away in her womb. Would you disrespect God? We have allowed our women to become mere objects, some would debate the responsibilities in this matter, but I'm putting it on us. Let me be blunt for a moment: Turn on your TV. Do you think for one minute that Mary the Mother of Jesus(saw) would be caught looking like that on television? Would you want to see your mother, sister, niece, aunt, etc. on the television shaking there backsides? Then why would you allow or even tolerate someone else,s family doing it? The mark of the believer is that they want for their brother what they have for themselves. So if its not OK for your daughter, why should it be alright for mine? I used Mary as an example, because we are taught in Islam that she was the most righteous woman to have walked the Earth and is an example to women and the world. We should support our women in such a way that they want to emulate Mary who through her all nations were blessed, instead of wanting our women to only fulfill our carnal and low desires. You can judge a nation and civilization by the way they treat their women. If this is in fact the true criterion, how would we measure up?
Knowledge and Worship of God
Brief and to the point. You can't know where your going until you understand where you have been. When we reflect on our origins, ancestry, etc. how can we not look back in awe. What's even greater than that awe is that there is an Active force behind it all that make all that we imagine possible. Why shouldn't you reverence that? Why shouldn't you reverence the Creator and Origin of all that is? Leaders must also be lead and are judged by that which they follow. If the head of life is not that which Originated you, or you don't even feel the need to respect and reverence your Origin, why should one follow you, if they rely on you to show them the way. If you don't even reverence where you came from, who wants a leader who can't possibly know where they are going? The study and knowledge of who we are and where we came from ends up with God. That knowledge should lead us to worship God. A "real man" in this instance, is one who has sense of direction, drive, and knows where he has been. Based off that knowledge, he knows where he is going. A "real man" has aim and purpose in life and has a plan, because we all know those who fail to plan, plan to fail. If God isn't what you reverence, isn't your center, or that which directs your life, than who or what is?
A "Real Man" lives in accordance to that which God created him to be
You have all read it before, maybe in different books, scriptures, etc. but the message in any form is consistent. From the Bible to the Quran and everywhere in between, we are told that God created us in His image and likeness, we should have the mind that was in Jesus(saw), or we were created to stand in the place of God on Earth. This is a great task and serious undertaking. What is this "image" of God that we are created in? What is this "mind" that Jesus(saw) had that we should have? What does it mean to stand in the place of God? I have been taught that God=force+power. Therefore, anything that exercises force and power over something else can for all intensive purposes, be a god. Anytime your environment controls you, whatever in that environment that exercises force and power over you is your god. If you can't look at another without sexual intention, lust is your god. If you can't be faithful to your spouse of significant other, sex has become your god. If you can't function without the desire for more money and things, greed amongst others is your god. That addiction or habit you can't seem to break, is your god. If we are created in the "image" of God then that means we have the ability to create and destroy within the context of our present reality. That means that our environment shouldn't change us, but we should change our environment and create and destroy it according to our will. The mind we should have that Jesus(saw) had is that of submission. It was due to his submission and faith that all thing were possible by him and through him. If we had that mind, our potential would be limitless. We are are own worst enemies. When we start to act in accordance with these rules we become the men we were created to be. We can stand in the place of God on Earth in our homes, neighborhoods, and lives. We can be the masters of our universe. "Real Men" realize their potential, actively pursue it, and use it in such a way, to create and environment pleasing to God. Life is what we make it, literally. We have the power, but we have to recognize it and use it. We humans reverence or at least should, all that God created so it makes sense to follow Him, what do you suppose would happen if we became god in our lives? Do you think our homes would be broken? Do you think our neighborhoods would be filled with crime? Do you think society would be the way it is?
- Robert Salaam
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
The World is an Abode of Troubles
This world is an abode of troubles; the world hereafter of terrors.
Humans are in the midst of troubles or terrors until they reach the final abode of Paradise or Hell.
Happy is the soul that has detached itself from troubles and terrors and has attached itself to God alone.
-Al-Hujwiri, “The Kashf al-Mahjub”
Humans are in the midst of troubles or terrors until they reach the final abode of Paradise or Hell.
Happy is the soul that has detached itself from troubles and terrors and has attached itself to God alone.
-Al-Hujwiri, “The Kashf al-Mahjub”
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