When God’s decree becomes your pleasure, you become a willing slave, not because of burdening yourself, not on account of recompense, but by virtue of the nature now so pure that wherever divine edict may take you, living and dying will appear the same. You live for God, not for riches; you die for God, not from fear or pain.
- Rumi
Friday, June 05, 2009
Attributes and Essence
Everyone can see the effects of God's mercy. But who, except God himself, understands the essence of his mercy? Most people cannot understand the essence of any of God's attributes; they only know his attributes through their effects -- and also through analogy.
- Rumi
- Rumi
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Saiyyidina Ali's Mathematical Brilliance
DIVIDING 17 CAMELS
A person was about to die, and before dying he wrote his Will which went as follows:
"I have 17 Camels, and I have three sons. Divide my Camels in such a way that my eldest son gets half of them, the second one gets 1/3rd of the total and my youngest son gets 1/9th of the total number of Camels."
After his death when the relatives read his will they got extremely perplexed and said to each other that how can we divide 17 camels like this.
So after a long hard thought they decided that there was only one man in Arabia who could help them: "Imam Ali (AS)."
So they all came to the door of Imam Ali (AS) and put forward their problem.
Imam Ali (AS) said, "Ok, I will divide the camels as per the man's will."
Imam Ali (AS) said, "I will lend one of my camels to the total which makes it 18 (17+1=18), now lets divide as per his will."
The eldest son gets 1/2 of 18 = 9
The second one gets 1/3 of 18 = 6
The youngest gets 1/9 of 18 = 2
Now the total number of camels = 17 (9+6+2=17)
Then Imam Ali (AS) said, "Now I will take my Camel back."
A person was about to die, and before dying he wrote his Will which went as follows:
"I have 17 Camels, and I have three sons. Divide my Camels in such a way that my eldest son gets half of them, the second one gets 1/3rd of the total and my youngest son gets 1/9th of the total number of Camels."
After his death when the relatives read his will they got extremely perplexed and said to each other that how can we divide 17 camels like this.
So after a long hard thought they decided that there was only one man in Arabia who could help them: "Imam Ali (AS)."
So they all came to the door of Imam Ali (AS) and put forward their problem.
Imam Ali (AS) said, "Ok, I will divide the camels as per the man's will."
Imam Ali (AS) said, "I will lend one of my camels to the total which makes it 18 (17+1=18), now lets divide as per his will."
The eldest son gets 1/2 of 18 = 9
The second one gets 1/3 of 18 = 6
The youngest gets 1/9 of 18 = 2
Now the total number of camels = 17 (9+6+2=17)
Then Imam Ali (AS) said, "Now I will take my Camel back."
Friday, May 15, 2009
Islam is a State of Being
The word "Islamic" does not really exist. It denotes or implies "coming from Islam" as though "Islam" were a time, place or thing. It is not. It is a State - of being at Peace with God, and you are either in it, or you are not. The word "Islam" is simply the command, in Arabic, to Surrender.
- Ali Ansari
- Ali Ansari
Friday, May 08, 2009
Outward Conformity and Inward Reality
It may be true that there are levels of outward understanding and compliance with outward conformity that can and should be observed by common people in their daily lives. But to deny the proven and accepted inward realities of life and religion is simply to deny the self any opportunity to realize and truly know God. And truly knowing and glorifying God is our primary responsibility. If that is not fulfilled, of what use is the fulfillment of all of the outward observations except for the benefits of conformity, and to be in the good graces of men and society. And that is truly the association of partners with Allah and a carryover of the basic ignorance of tribalism that has led to the degeneration of the lofty teachings of Divine revelation
and which that very revelation was sent to correct.
- Ali Ansari
and which that very revelation was sent to correct.
- Ali Ansari
Being born into Islam does not mean being born into Surrender...
Being born into Islam does not mean being born into Surrender. The influences of Muslim parents on their children to become "good" Muslims are exactly the same as the influences of any parents anywhere to have their children succeed in the skills of their particular society. So there remains in the soul of the child the desire to manifest, and the sense of rebellion that wants to make the right decisions based upon true experience, and not upon the acquired experience provided by parents, education and society....
...True Surrender must be discovered, realized and accepted by each individual through the process of a quest for true self-understanding. This process was, is and has been preserved by them who seek it. And they are those who have heard and follow true guidance. They are not satisfied with the outward life of picking up a book, reading it, and proclaiming themselves knowledgeable. They realize that there is and must be more to life than simply learning how to compete, succeed and excel in the outward goals of material acquisition.
- Ali Ansari
Is this what our youth are telling us? That they are merely rebelling for more genuine experiences? That they want to know -- and true knowing means through experience -- who they are? Does that mean that we -- adults -- are not providing them with the genuine knowledge and experiences they need to learn about who they are and who Allah is? The amazing thing is that this is confirmed by everything we know in youth development. Young people WILL develop, they will discover themselves, whether we like it or not, for that is the way Allah has programmed the human being and his/her life in this world. The question for us is, how will they do it? If we are truly guiding them, then we will provide them with the authentic knowledge, nurture, experiences, support and opportunities to discover who they REALLY are according to their fitra and human potential. Or, we can let them go and allow the streets, media and their oft-ignorant peers to provide them with the experiences and pathways for 'development.' It's simply a matter of guiding them to know Allah by His Mercy, or by His Wrath, and the ultimate responsibility and burden of what results will be on us.
Forcing young people to 'be Muslim' according to some superficial picture is not the same as teaching a young person what it means to live in surrender to the Creator. This is where our current educational process is wrong, beginning from the family all the way through the formal education system. We choose to 'inculcate' rather than educate. True education, as my teacher taught me, is about understanding through knowing, and it touches on every aspect of life, confirmed through the Book and the Way of the Prophet (SAW). This is a far cry from the forced instruction that our children go through on a daily basis in the so-called education system.
Until we understand this, the difference between 'being a Muslim' and living in true surrender will remain hidden and our young people will continue to cry for attention through rebelliousness and anti-social behavior.
...True Surrender must be discovered, realized and accepted by each individual through the process of a quest for true self-understanding. This process was, is and has been preserved by them who seek it. And they are those who have heard and follow true guidance. They are not satisfied with the outward life of picking up a book, reading it, and proclaiming themselves knowledgeable. They realize that there is and must be more to life than simply learning how to compete, succeed and excel in the outward goals of material acquisition.
- Ali Ansari
Is this what our youth are telling us? That they are merely rebelling for more genuine experiences? That they want to know -- and true knowing means through experience -- who they are? Does that mean that we -- adults -- are not providing them with the genuine knowledge and experiences they need to learn about who they are and who Allah is? The amazing thing is that this is confirmed by everything we know in youth development. Young people WILL develop, they will discover themselves, whether we like it or not, for that is the way Allah has programmed the human being and his/her life in this world. The question for us is, how will they do it? If we are truly guiding them, then we will provide them with the authentic knowledge, nurture, experiences, support and opportunities to discover who they REALLY are according to their fitra and human potential. Or, we can let them go and allow the streets, media and their oft-ignorant peers to provide them with the experiences and pathways for 'development.' It's simply a matter of guiding them to know Allah by His Mercy, or by His Wrath, and the ultimate responsibility and burden of what results will be on us.
Forcing young people to 'be Muslim' according to some superficial picture is not the same as teaching a young person what it means to live in surrender to the Creator. This is where our current educational process is wrong, beginning from the family all the way through the formal education system. We choose to 'inculcate' rather than educate. True education, as my teacher taught me, is about understanding through knowing, and it touches on every aspect of life, confirmed through the Book and the Way of the Prophet (SAW). This is a far cry from the forced instruction that our children go through on a daily basis in the so-called education system.
Until we understand this, the difference between 'being a Muslim' and living in true surrender will remain hidden and our young people will continue to cry for attention through rebelliousness and anti-social behavior.
On Knowing Reality
Prayer of the Prophet
- Ali Ansari
"O Allah! Show me all things as they are."
"Allahumma, Ara`ani kullu shay`in kama hiya"
This is the constant heart prayer of the true gnostic and the vocal expression of the essence of the endless, ongoing quest.
To know, see, and be in reality at all times is, at least, to be free from the trap of our mental perceptions and it can be done, or at least asked for. This prayer, even though ongoing, is answerable, and here's how I feel the answer.
"Things as they are" are never as they seem. We are asking for a direct vision of reality. This certainly implies its possibility. And if the certainty is not granted immediately upon request, it implies the presence of veils, which are also part of the reality, and which must become known and recognized in order to be removed. So now we must accept the reality of "veils".
The removal of veils implies the removal of the visual impedances held in the outer, central and deeper regions of the hearts by incorrect or unreal beliefs in "other than" Allah, which are the results of and cause our personal distortions of reality. Distortions in perception are not changes in reality but misguided interpretations, incorrect assumptions and understandings that keep us "out of touch" with it. The singular "cure" for this is the seeking and following of guidance. This search for and following of guidance is called 'sulook', or 'traveling', or 'walking'. It is the long-honored process of self-education in the approach to reality, or on the pathway to God, as we like to say.
What is Reality? Reality can never be what we "think" it is simply because by the time we get a "mental" fix on it, it has changed and we are left with a flash picture, like a photograph. Our perception of reality is made up for the most part of photos in archive, and the only way we can ever get through it is to posit the existence of a transcendent, objective truth, a goal, and approach it. Otherwise we are left collecting pictures of ourselves, wading through our own archives, destroying pictures. That's why the Zen people teach the phrase, "Zen mind, beginner's mind", because every moment is a new beginning.
How, then, can we "trust" anything? You might well ask.
Reality is quite reliable on its own and neither asks of us nor needs of us any mental participation. It obviously does not exclude such, but the results of mental participation become "reality" too, "our contribution", so to speak. Hence the confusion and difficulty in distinguishing between what is "really" true, and what is just true for a moment. The mind is based on attainment, but the soul is already established in the love of God. Shifting our focus from one to the other is the process of the journey. Self-acceptance (Surrender to the reality of Soul) is what dissolves the illusion of conceptual self. It simply melts in its own reality. "I see who I am and surrender to that", is the first step of "seeing things as the are". Then we come to understand the phrase "The world is but a reflection of how we see ourselves in it."
Mental purification (God-realization through remembrance exercise) is the means and goal of Islamic Healing. So we start in our minds, positing the existence of God, the Divine Being from Whom and by Whom all things emanate. Then we investigate what religions and spiritual paths have to say about such a being. Upon conclusion that such a being exists, we set about our search for means of discovery. And soon we discover the heart of the matter, ourselves. When we realized that the depth of the secrets of reality lies within our own beings, we also realize what lies within the depths of other beings and we set out on our journey in earnest, to be healed and educated by others, and to thereby bring healing and education to others.
This necessity and quest for self-understanding is what brings humanity together. We approach those in whom we feel the healing energy and wisdom of truth, peace, love and, and while discovering them on our paths, we ourselves are discovered by others on a similar quest....
- Ali Ansari
"O Allah! Show me all things as they are."
"Allahumma, Ara`ani kullu shay`in kama hiya"
This is the constant heart prayer of the true gnostic and the vocal expression of the essence of the endless, ongoing quest.
To know, see, and be in reality at all times is, at least, to be free from the trap of our mental perceptions and it can be done, or at least asked for. This prayer, even though ongoing, is answerable, and here's how I feel the answer.
"Things as they are" are never as they seem. We are asking for a direct vision of reality. This certainly implies its possibility. And if the certainty is not granted immediately upon request, it implies the presence of veils, which are also part of the reality, and which must become known and recognized in order to be removed. So now we must accept the reality of "veils".
The removal of veils implies the removal of the visual impedances held in the outer, central and deeper regions of the hearts by incorrect or unreal beliefs in "other than" Allah, which are the results of and cause our personal distortions of reality. Distortions in perception are not changes in reality but misguided interpretations, incorrect assumptions and understandings that keep us "out of touch" with it. The singular "cure" for this is the seeking and following of guidance. This search for and following of guidance is called 'sulook', or 'traveling', or 'walking'. It is the long-honored process of self-education in the approach to reality, or on the pathway to God, as we like to say.
What is Reality? Reality can never be what we "think" it is simply because by the time we get a "mental" fix on it, it has changed and we are left with a flash picture, like a photograph. Our perception of reality is made up for the most part of photos in archive, and the only way we can ever get through it is to posit the existence of a transcendent, objective truth, a goal, and approach it. Otherwise we are left collecting pictures of ourselves, wading through our own archives, destroying pictures. That's why the Zen people teach the phrase, "Zen mind, beginner's mind", because every moment is a new beginning.
How, then, can we "trust" anything? You might well ask.
Reality is quite reliable on its own and neither asks of us nor needs of us any mental participation. It obviously does not exclude such, but the results of mental participation become "reality" too, "our contribution", so to speak. Hence the confusion and difficulty in distinguishing between what is "really" true, and what is just true for a moment. The mind is based on attainment, but the soul is already established in the love of God. Shifting our focus from one to the other is the process of the journey. Self-acceptance (Surrender to the reality of Soul) is what dissolves the illusion of conceptual self. It simply melts in its own reality. "I see who I am and surrender to that", is the first step of "seeing things as the are". Then we come to understand the phrase "The world is but a reflection of how we see ourselves in it."
Mental purification (God-realization through remembrance exercise) is the means and goal of Islamic Healing. So we start in our minds, positing the existence of God, the Divine Being from Whom and by Whom all things emanate. Then we investigate what religions and spiritual paths have to say about such a being. Upon conclusion that such a being exists, we set about our search for means of discovery. And soon we discover the heart of the matter, ourselves. When we realized that the depth of the secrets of reality lies within our own beings, we also realize what lies within the depths of other beings and we set out on our journey in earnest, to be healed and educated by others, and to thereby bring healing and education to others.
This necessity and quest for self-understanding is what brings humanity together. We approach those in whom we feel the healing energy and wisdom of truth, peace, love and, and while discovering them on our paths, we ourselves are discovered by others on a similar quest....
Thursday, April 30, 2009
New Sa'udi-Wahhabi Crime in Medina
Riyadh - In keeping up with their war against Sunni Muslims, the Sa'udi usurpers of al-Haramayn chose to impose a wall around Jannat al-Baqi, the blessed cemetery of Medina, thus preventing Muslims from visiting and supplicating by the graves of the Family of Muhammad, the Fatimid Imams of Bani Hashim, of Imam Hassan the son of Ali son of Fatimah, daughter of Rasul-Ullah, of his nephew Imam Zaynu-l-'Abidin, of his son Imam Muhammd, surnamed the Wider of Sciences by Imam as-Shafi'i, of His son Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq who gave his silsilah from 'Ali to Imam Abu Hanifah, and by the graves of the Outstanding Companions who were buried in Medina and honored by the Salaf.
According to al-Alam TV, the known theologian of Bahrein Abdul-Azim Al-Muhtada said that this is a further step in the path of disrespect and insolence toward the Family of the Prophet Muhammad and his Companions. All this continues as the Saudi monarchy goes on supporting the evil cult of the pseudo-Salafi Wahhabis.
- Istituto Culturale della Comunita' Islamica Italiana
According to al-Alam TV, the known theologian of Bahrein Abdul-Azim Al-Muhtada said that this is a further step in the path of disrespect and insolence toward the Family of the Prophet Muhammad and his Companions. All this continues as the Saudi monarchy goes on supporting the evil cult of the pseudo-Salafi Wahhabis.
- Istituto Culturale della Comunita' Islamica Italiana
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Feeling Overwhelmed is Part of Allah's Plan
Sometimes the feeling of being overwhelmed overwhelms us. We feel like we are drowning -- so many things that have to get done and so little time. Promises we have made, deadlines to keep and the desperation in our minds of, 'how the heck am I going to do all this?' But the amazing thing is that somehow, it always gets done. Why? Because all these things are also from Allah and part of His plan. He only sends them our way because He knows we CAN get them done, and He makes sure that they do get done -- usually in ways that we never could have imagined -- just like the Qur'an tells us (i.e. Ayat seribu dinar). Trust and surrender -- then do the work that needs to be done. These are the words of wisdom that one great teacher spoke that must be referred to at such moments.
That does not mean, however, that we should not from time to time be afraid to say 'no thanks' to people that ask us to do things. We also have to be fair and just to ourselves and those who we have already made commitments to, along with those who have rights over us such as our families and the like. I guess, in the end, this is the delicate balance of life that we must maintain with constant hope and prayer. It's just another sign of how dependent we are on our Lord every moment of every day.
That does not mean, however, that we should not from time to time be afraid to say 'no thanks' to people that ask us to do things. We also have to be fair and just to ourselves and those who we have already made commitments to, along with those who have rights over us such as our families and the like. I guess, in the end, this is the delicate balance of life that we must maintain with constant hope and prayer. It's just another sign of how dependent we are on our Lord every moment of every day.
The Blessing of Helping
Alhamdulillah, Allah truly works in mysterious ways. I am often reminded of the gift of Islam by the fact that for no reason that I can think of, I am asked to help someone in some small way - whether it be helping a friend get through a trying time, helping a colleague at work, or helping a fellow Muslim make sense of what Allah has created for them. What we often don't realize I think is that blessings come in the opportunities that Allah gives us to serve Him. So it's not only the more 'obvious' blessings of our daily rizq, our families, our health, our means of livelihood and the like, but that Allah would send someone in need to our door. The opportunity of helping a child that calls on us for assistance, whether it be a child of our own or that of someone else, for instance.
I cannot begin to count the number of times I have - may Allah forgive me - rolled my eyes at being 'troubled' by someone coming to me in need of something. What a tragic mistake on my part! Such incidences are wonderful opportunities to truly put our role as 'servant' to the test. We must always see such incidences as blessings -- Allah has honored us by using us as a tool for His mercy and assistance of another of His creatures. How great is that? But if it is so, I wonder, why is it so hard for us to see it that way? Why, for example, would I even consider 'rolling my eyes' at someone in need, no matter how small that need is? These are some of the things that trouble me about me. It is 'the work' that I need to do. Thank God Almighty I am still alive to be able to do it.
I cannot begin to count the number of times I have - may Allah forgive me - rolled my eyes at being 'troubled' by someone coming to me in need of something. What a tragic mistake on my part! Such incidences are wonderful opportunities to truly put our role as 'servant' to the test. We must always see such incidences as blessings -- Allah has honored us by using us as a tool for His mercy and assistance of another of His creatures. How great is that? But if it is so, I wonder, why is it so hard for us to see it that way? Why, for example, would I even consider 'rolling my eyes' at someone in need, no matter how small that need is? These are some of the things that trouble me about me. It is 'the work' that I need to do. Thank God Almighty I am still alive to be able to do it.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Material Desires and the Desire for Allah....
She heard a voice in her ears: 'Be careful, lest you want me to fulfill your material desires, and take away your desire for me. Material desires and the desire for me cannot exist within the same heart.'
-Attar, "Rabi'a"
Another revealing statement on the current sickness of our age called 'materialism.' Where do we as Muslims stand in relation to this question? Let's all take a good hard look at ourselves and find out...
-Attar, "Rabi'a"
Another revealing statement on the current sickness of our age called 'materialism.' Where do we as Muslims stand in relation to this question? Let's all take a good hard look at ourselves and find out...
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Perils of a Corrupt Heart...
Many prayers are declined because of the rank odor of a corrupt heart rising through the beautiful words. Let the words be wrong, but the meaning right. That flawed utterance is dearer to God.
-Rumi, "The Life and Thought of Rumi"
A wonderful reminder for us to always be in tuned to the music of the heart. We should heed these beautiful words by the great wali and seek to go beyond the outward appearances of things. Anything else is plain old materialism -- the number one illness of our times....
-Rumi, "The Life and Thought of Rumi"
A wonderful reminder for us to always be in tuned to the music of the heart. We should heed these beautiful words by the great wali and seek to go beyond the outward appearances of things. Anything else is plain old materialism -- the number one illness of our times....
Thursday, March 19, 2009
A Wife
A Wife
- a talk by Sheikh Abdullah Adhami
By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.
She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you;
When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.
The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says:
"they are your garments and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).
Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.
The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquility that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala,
"And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)
Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an,
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)
But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.
Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.
Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.
Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife."
Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.
Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.
Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.
Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said
"the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said "I don't like yours either"... Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you apart. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.
The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."
- a talk by Sheikh Abdullah Adhami
By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.
She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you;
When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.
The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says:
"they are your garments and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).
Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.
The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquility that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala,
"And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)
Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an,
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)
But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.
Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.
Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.
Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife."
Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.
Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.
Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.
Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said
"the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said "I don't like yours either"... Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you apart. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.
The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Allah is Always Near
The Almighty Allah says,
"When a servant thinks of Me, I am near.
When he invokes Me, I am with him.
If he reflects on Me in secret, I reply in secret,
And if he acknowledges Me in an assembly,
I acknowledge him in a far superior assembly."
-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Hurairah
"When a servant thinks of Me, I am near.
When he invokes Me, I am with him.
If he reflects on Me in secret, I reply in secret,
And if he acknowledges Me in an assembly,
I acknowledge him in a far superior assembly."
-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Hurairah
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
How a Muslim Should Deal with Stress and Anxiety
This is most useful...
How A Muslim Should Deal With Stress and Anxiety: 25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety
- Author unknown
1. Ask Him. He Listens: DU`A
Turn each anxiety, each fear and each concern into a Dua (supplication). Look at it as another reason to submit to God and be in Sajdah (prostration), during which you are closest to Allah. God listens and already knows what is in your heart, but He wants you to ask Him for what you want.
The Prophet said: Allah is angry with those who do not ask Him for anything
(Tirmidhi).
The Prophet once said that in prayer, he would find rest and relief (Nasai). He would also regularly ask for God's forgiveness and remain in prostration during prayer praising God (Tasbeeh) and asking for His forgiveness (Bukhari).
Allah wants you to be specific. The Prophet advised us to ask Allah for exactly what we want instead of making vague Duas. Dua is the essence of worship (the Prophet as quoted in Tirmidhi).
'Call on your Lord with humility and in private: for Allah loveth not those who trespass beyond bounds. Do not make mischief on the earth, after it hath been set in order, but call on Him with fear. And longing (in your hearts): for the mercy of Allah is (always) near to those who do good' (Quran 7:55-56).
2. Tie your Camel: DO YOUR PART
One day Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel without tying it. He asked the Bedouin, 'Why don't you tie down your camel?' The Bedouin answered, 'I put my trust in Allah.' The Prophet then said, 'Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah' (Tirmidhi).
Muslims must never become fatalistic. Although we know only Allah is in control and that He has decreed all things, we are each responsible for making the right choices and doing the right thing in all situations of our lives. We must take action (link to planning articles on SV). We must work to alleviate the hardships we, our families and our communities face.
Ask yourself the following questions if you are worried about the state of the world: are you part of the peace movement? Is your Masjid part of the peace movement? Are you part of an interfaith group with an agenda of peace and justice? Are you working with a group fighting discrimination? If your answer is no, it is time that you sat down to plan your share of time and money in finding solutions to the problems you face.
'Verily Allah does not change men's condition unless they change their inner selves' (Quran 13: 11).
Turn each worry into a Du`a and each Du`a into an action plan. That will show your commitment to your request and will focus your energy in the right direction.
3. Remember that human responsibility is limited
While we need to carry out our duty to the best of our abilities, always remember that you don't control the outcome of events. Even the Prophets did not control the outcome of their efforts. Some were successful, others were not. Once you have done your duty, leave the results to Allah. Regardless of the results of your efforts, you will be rewarded for the part you have played.
However, never underestimate your abilities. Understand the concept of Barakah (blessings from Allah) and remember that Allah can and Insha Allah will expand them if you are sincerely exerting your energies for the right path.
4. Leave the world behind you FIVE TIMES A DAY
Use the five daily prayers as a means to become more Hereafter-oriented and less attached to this temporary world. Start distancing yourself as soon as you hear Adhan, the call to prayer. When you perform Wudu, keep repeating Shahada, the declaration of faith, as water drops slip down your face, hands, arms, and hair. When you stand ready to pray, mentally prepare yourself to leave this world and all of its worries and stresses behind you.
Of course, Shaytan will try to distract you during prayer. But whenever this happens, go back and remember Allah. The more you return, the more Allah will reward you for it. Also, make sure your Sajdas (prostrations) are talking Sajdas, in which you are really connecting to God and seeking His Mercy, praising Him, and asking His forgiveness. (link to Sajda article...ramadan page)
5. Seek help through SABR
Seek help through Sabr and Salat (Quran 2:45).
This instruction from Allah provides us with two critical tools that can ease our worries and pain. Patience and prayer are two oft-neglected stressbusters. Sabr is often translated as patience but it is not just that. It includes self-control, perseverance, endurance, and a focused struggle to achieve one's goal. Unlike patience, which implies resignation, the concept of Sabr includes a duty to remain steadfast to achieve your goals despite all odds.
Being patient gives us control in situations where we feel we have little or no control. 'We cannot control what happens to us but we can control our reaction to our circumstances' is the mantra of many modern-day self-help books. Patience helps us keep our mind and attitude towards our difficulties in check.
6. Excuse Me! You are Not Running the World, HE is.
It is important to remind ourselves that we don't control all the variables in the world. God does. He is the Wise, the All-Knowing. Sometimes our limited human faculties are not able to comprehend His wisdom behind what happens to us and to others, but knowing that He is in control and that as human beings we submit to His Will, enriches our humanity and enhances our obedience (Uboodiah in Arabic) towards him. Read the story of the encounter of Moses with the mysteries behind God's decision (Quran: 18:60-82). Familiarize yourself with God's 99 Names, which are also known as His Attributes. It is a powerful way of knowing Him.
'God-there is no deity save Him, the Ever-Living, the Self-Subsistent Fount of All being. Neither slumber overtakes Him, nor sleep. His is all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth. Who is there that could intercede with Him, unless it be by His leave? He knows all that lies open before men and all that is hidden from them, whereas they cannot attain to aught of His knowledge save that which He wills them to attain. His eternal power overspreads the heavens and the earth, and their upholding wearies Him not. And He alone is truly exalted, tremendous.' (Quran 2:255).
The Prophet recommended reading this verse, known as Ayat al kursi, after each prayer, Allah's peace and blessings be upon him. Once Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, approached the Prophet during a difficult time and he found the Prophet in Sajda, where he kept repeating 'Ya Hayy Ya Qayyum', words which are part of this verse.
7. Birds Don't Carry their Food
Allah is al Razzaq (the Provider).
'How many are the creatures that carry not their own sustenance? It is Allah Who feeds them and you, for He hears and knows all things (Quran 29:60).'
By reminding yourself that He is the Provider, you will remember that getting a job or providing for your family in these economically and politically challenging times, when Muslims are often the last to be hired and the first to be fired, is in God's Hands, not yours. As Allah says in the Quran:
'And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose. Verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion (Quran 65:3).
8. God controls Life and Death
If you fear for your physical safety and security, remember that only Allah gives life and takes it back and, that He has appointed the time for it. No one can harm you except if Allah wills. As He says in the Quran:
'Wherever you are, death will find you out, even if you are in towers built up strong and high!' (Quran 4:78).
9. Remember that life is short
It's easy to get caught up in our own stress and anxiety. However, if we remember that our life is short and temporary, and that the everlasting life is in the Hereafter, this will put our worries in perspective.
This belief in the transitory nature of the life of this world reminds us that whatever difficulties, trials, anxieties, and grief we suffer in this world are, Insha Allah, something we will only experience for a short period of time. And more importantly, if we handle these tests with patience, Allah will reward us for it.
10. Do Zikr, Allah, Allah!
'... without doubt in the remembrance (Zikr) of Allah do hearts find tranquility'
(Quran 13:28).
If you commute, use your time in Zikr. Pick any Tasbeeh and do that instead of listening to the radio or reading the newspaper. Maybe you can divide it up between Zikr and planning. Personally, I recite the Tasbeeh of 'Subhana Allahe wa be hamdihi, subhan Allahil Azeem' 100 times as I drive. The Prophet taught us these two short phrases which are easy to say but will weigh heavy on our scale of good deeds in the Hereafter.
When your heart feels heavy with stress or grief, remember Allah and surround yourself with His Zikr. Zikr refers to all forms of the remembrance of Allah, including Salat, Tasbeeh, Tahmeed, Tahleel, making supplication (Dua), and reading Quran.
'And your Lord says: 'Call on Me; I will answer your (prayer)...' (Quran 40:60)
By remembering Allah in the way He has taught us to, we are more likely to gain acceptance of our prayers and His Mercy in times of difficulty. We are communicating with the only One Who not only Hears and Knows all, but Who can change our situation and give us the patience to deal with our difficulties.
'Remember Me, and I shall remember you; be grateful to Me, and deny Me not'
(Quran 2:152).
11. Relying on Allah: Tawakkul
When you awaken in the morning, thank Allah for giving you life after that short death called sleep. When you step out of your home, say 'in Your Name Allah, I put my trust in Allah, and there is no power or force except with Allah' (Bismillahi Tawakal to al Allah wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah). At night, remember Allah, with His praises on your lips.
Once you have established a plan you intend to follow through on to deal with a specific issue or problem in your life, put your trust in the most Wise and the All-Knowing.
'When you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah' (Quran 3: 159).
Rely on Allah by constantly remembering Him throughout your day. When you
lay down to sleep, remember that sleep is death. That is why one of the recommended supplications before going to sleep is 'with Your (Allah's) Name I die and become alive'.
12. Connect with other human beings
You are not alone. Muslims are not alone. We are not suffering in silence. There are millions of good people who are not Muslim with beautiful hearts and minds. These are people who have supported us, individually and collectively, post-9/11, by checking up on us and making sure we are safe. These are individuals and organizations who have spoken up in defense of Muslims as we endured harassment and discrimination.
We must think of them, talk to them, connect with them, and pray for them. Through our connections, we will break the chain of isolation that leads to depression and anxiety.
13. Compare your dining table with that of those who don't have as much as you do
The Prophet said: Whenever you see someone better than you in wealth, face or figure, you should look at someone who is inferior to you in these respects (so that you may thank Allah for His blessings) (Bukhari, Muslim).
Next time you sit down to eat, eye the table carefully. Check out the selection of food, the quality, the taste, the quantity, and then think of the millions of others who don't have even half as much. The Prophet's Hadith reminds us of this so that we can appreciate and thank God for all that we have.
Also remember that the Prophet only encouraged us to compare ourselves to others in two respects: in our Islamic knowledge and level of belief in God (Deen). In these two areas, we should compare ourselves with those who have more than what we do.
14. Say it Loud: Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar: Takbirat & Adhan
Find a corner of a lake, go out in the wilderness, or even stand on your lawn at your home and call the Adhan with your heart. While driving, instead of listening to the same news over and over again, say Allahu Akbar as loudly as you can or as softly as you want, based on your mood. Year ago, I remember calling Adhan on a Lake Michigan shore in Chicago after sunset as the water gushed against my knees. I was calling it for myself. There was no one else accept the waves after waves of water with their symphony. It was relaxing and meaningful. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
15. Pray in congregation (Jamat)
Pray with other people instead of alone. If you can't pray all five prayers in congregation, at least find one or two prayers you can pray with others. If you are away, establish Jamat in your own family. During the Prophet's time, even though the Muslims endured great persecution, including physical beatings, they would sometimes meet on the side of a mountain or valley and tried to pray together. This is a great morale booster.
16. How is your Imam's Dua?
Does the Imam at your local mosque make Dua silently or out loud? Ask him to supplicate with the whole congregation. Suggest Duas for him to make. Ask him to make Dua for other people.
17. Work for the Unity of Muslims
Bringing Muslims together will not only help the Muslims, but it will also encourage you to focus your energies on something constructive versus zeroing in on and consistently fretting about difficulties you are going through.
Invite Muslims from other ethnic groups to your functions. Visit Masjids other than yours in your city. When you meet a Muslim leader, after thanking him for his efforts, ask him what he is doing for Muslim unity. Ask Imams to make Dua for this. These are just small ways you can help yourself and the Muslim community.
18. Sleep the way the Prophet slept
End your day on a positive note. Make Wudu, then think of your day. Thank Allah for all the good things you accomplished, like Zikr and Salat. Ask yourself what you did today to bring humanity together and what you did to help Muslims become servants of humanity. For everything positive, say Alhamdu lillah (Praise be to Allah). For everything negative say Astaghfirullah wa atoobo ilayk (I seek Allah's forgiveness and I turn to You [Allah]). Recite the last two chapters of the Quran, thinking and praying as you turn on your right side with your hand below your right cheek, the way the Prophet used to sleep. Then close your day with the name of Allah on your tongue. Insha Allah, you will have a good, restful night.
19. Begin the Day on a Positive Note
Get up early. Get up thanking God that He has given you another day. Alhamdu lillahil lazi ahyana bada ma amatana, wa ilaihin Nushoor (Praise be to Allah Who gave us life after death and unto Him will be the return). Invest in an audio tape driven alarm clock so you can get up to the melody of the Quran. Or Let Dawud Wharnsby's joyful notes put you in a good mood. Sing along if you like. Develop your to do list for the day if you didn't do it the night before. Begin with the name of Allah, with Whose name nothing in the heavens or the earth can hurt you. He is the Highest and the Greatest.
(Bismillahillazi la yazurru maa ismihi shaiun fil arze wa la fis samae, wahuwal Alee ul Azeem).The Prophet used to say this after every Fajr and Maghrib prayers.
20. Avoid Media Overexposure: Switch from News to Books
Don't spend too much time checking out the news on the radio, television or internet. Spend more time reading good books and journals. When you listen to the persistent barrage of bad news, especially relating to Muslims nowadays, you feel not only depressed, but powerless. Cut down media time to reduce your stress and anxiety. It's important to know what's going on but not to an extent that it ruins your day or your mood. (similarly, when you are in a sad mood, refrain from wallowing and listening to sad songs)
21. Pray for Others to Heal Yourself.
The Prophet was always concerned about other people, Muslims and non-Muslims, and would regularly pray for them. Praying for others connects you with them and helps you understand their suffering. This in itself has a healing component to it. The Prophet has said that praying for someone who is not present increases love.
22. Make the Quran your Partner
Reading and listening to the Quran will help refresh our hearts and our minds. Recite it out loud or in a low voice. Listen to it in the car. When you are praying Nafl or extra prayers, pick it up and use it to recite portions of the Quran you are not as familiar with. Connecting to the Quran means connecting to God. Let it be a means to heal your heart of stress and worries. Invest in different recordings of the Quran and their translations.
'O humanity! There has come to you a direction from your Lord and a cure for all [the ills] in men's hearts - and for those who believe, a Guidance and a Mercy' (Quran 10:57).
23. Be thankful to Allah
'If you are grateful, I will give you more' (Quran 14:7).
Counting our blessings helps us not only be grateful for what we have, but it also reminds us that we are so much better off than millions of others, whether that is in terms of our health, family, financial situation, or other aspects of our life. And being grateful for all we have helps us maintain a positive attitude in the face of worries and challenges we are facing almost daily.
24. Ideals: ONE STEP AT A TIME
Ideals are wonderful things to pursue. But do that gradually. Think, prioritize, plan, and move forward. One step at a time.
25. EFFORTS not Results Count in the Eyes of Allah
Our success depends on our sincere efforts to the best of our abilities. It is the mercy of Allah that He does not demand results, Alhamdu lillah. He is happy if He finds us making our best sincere effort. Thank you Allah!
How A Muslim Should Deal With Stress and Anxiety: 25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety
- Author unknown
1. Ask Him. He Listens: DU`A
Turn each anxiety, each fear and each concern into a Dua (supplication). Look at it as another reason to submit to God and be in Sajdah (prostration), during which you are closest to Allah. God listens and already knows what is in your heart, but He wants you to ask Him for what you want.
The Prophet said: Allah is angry with those who do not ask Him for anything
(Tirmidhi).
The Prophet once said that in prayer, he would find rest and relief (Nasai). He would also regularly ask for God's forgiveness and remain in prostration during prayer praising God (Tasbeeh) and asking for His forgiveness (Bukhari).
Allah wants you to be specific. The Prophet advised us to ask Allah for exactly what we want instead of making vague Duas. Dua is the essence of worship (the Prophet as quoted in Tirmidhi).
'Call on your Lord with humility and in private: for Allah loveth not those who trespass beyond bounds. Do not make mischief on the earth, after it hath been set in order, but call on Him with fear. And longing (in your hearts): for the mercy of Allah is (always) near to those who do good' (Quran 7:55-56).
2. Tie your Camel: DO YOUR PART
One day Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel without tying it. He asked the Bedouin, 'Why don't you tie down your camel?' The Bedouin answered, 'I put my trust in Allah.' The Prophet then said, 'Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah' (Tirmidhi).
Muslims must never become fatalistic. Although we know only Allah is in control and that He has decreed all things, we are each responsible for making the right choices and doing the right thing in all situations of our lives. We must take action (link to planning articles on SV). We must work to alleviate the hardships we, our families and our communities face.
Ask yourself the following questions if you are worried about the state of the world: are you part of the peace movement? Is your Masjid part of the peace movement? Are you part of an interfaith group with an agenda of peace and justice? Are you working with a group fighting discrimination? If your answer is no, it is time that you sat down to plan your share of time and money in finding solutions to the problems you face.
'Verily Allah does not change men's condition unless they change their inner selves' (Quran 13: 11).
Turn each worry into a Du`a and each Du`a into an action plan. That will show your commitment to your request and will focus your energy in the right direction.
3. Remember that human responsibility is limited
While we need to carry out our duty to the best of our abilities, always remember that you don't control the outcome of events. Even the Prophets did not control the outcome of their efforts. Some were successful, others were not. Once you have done your duty, leave the results to Allah. Regardless of the results of your efforts, you will be rewarded for the part you have played.
However, never underestimate your abilities. Understand the concept of Barakah (blessings from Allah) and remember that Allah can and Insha Allah will expand them if you are sincerely exerting your energies for the right path.
4. Leave the world behind you FIVE TIMES A DAY
Use the five daily prayers as a means to become more Hereafter-oriented and less attached to this temporary world. Start distancing yourself as soon as you hear Adhan, the call to prayer. When you perform Wudu, keep repeating Shahada, the declaration of faith, as water drops slip down your face, hands, arms, and hair. When you stand ready to pray, mentally prepare yourself to leave this world and all of its worries and stresses behind you.
Of course, Shaytan will try to distract you during prayer. But whenever this happens, go back and remember Allah. The more you return, the more Allah will reward you for it. Also, make sure your Sajdas (prostrations) are talking Sajdas, in which you are really connecting to God and seeking His Mercy, praising Him, and asking His forgiveness. (link to Sajda article...ramadan page)
5. Seek help through SABR
Seek help through Sabr and Salat (Quran 2:45).
This instruction from Allah provides us with two critical tools that can ease our worries and pain. Patience and prayer are two oft-neglected stressbusters. Sabr is often translated as patience but it is not just that. It includes self-control, perseverance, endurance, and a focused struggle to achieve one's goal. Unlike patience, which implies resignation, the concept of Sabr includes a duty to remain steadfast to achieve your goals despite all odds.
Being patient gives us control in situations where we feel we have little or no control. 'We cannot control what happens to us but we can control our reaction to our circumstances' is the mantra of many modern-day self-help books. Patience helps us keep our mind and attitude towards our difficulties in check.
6. Excuse Me! You are Not Running the World, HE is.
It is important to remind ourselves that we don't control all the variables in the world. God does. He is the Wise, the All-Knowing. Sometimes our limited human faculties are not able to comprehend His wisdom behind what happens to us and to others, but knowing that He is in control and that as human beings we submit to His Will, enriches our humanity and enhances our obedience (Uboodiah in Arabic) towards him. Read the story of the encounter of Moses with the mysteries behind God's decision (Quran: 18:60-82). Familiarize yourself with God's 99 Names, which are also known as His Attributes. It is a powerful way of knowing Him.
'God-there is no deity save Him, the Ever-Living, the Self-Subsistent Fount of All being. Neither slumber overtakes Him, nor sleep. His is all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth. Who is there that could intercede with Him, unless it be by His leave? He knows all that lies open before men and all that is hidden from them, whereas they cannot attain to aught of His knowledge save that which He wills them to attain. His eternal power overspreads the heavens and the earth, and their upholding wearies Him not. And He alone is truly exalted, tremendous.' (Quran 2:255).
The Prophet recommended reading this verse, known as Ayat al kursi, after each prayer, Allah's peace and blessings be upon him. Once Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, approached the Prophet during a difficult time and he found the Prophet in Sajda, where he kept repeating 'Ya Hayy Ya Qayyum', words which are part of this verse.
7. Birds Don't Carry their Food
Allah is al Razzaq (the Provider).
'How many are the creatures that carry not their own sustenance? It is Allah Who feeds them and you, for He hears and knows all things (Quran 29:60).'
By reminding yourself that He is the Provider, you will remember that getting a job or providing for your family in these economically and politically challenging times, when Muslims are often the last to be hired and the first to be fired, is in God's Hands, not yours. As Allah says in the Quran:
'And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose. Verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion (Quran 65:3).
8. God controls Life and Death
If you fear for your physical safety and security, remember that only Allah gives life and takes it back and, that He has appointed the time for it. No one can harm you except if Allah wills. As He says in the Quran:
'Wherever you are, death will find you out, even if you are in towers built up strong and high!' (Quran 4:78).
9. Remember that life is short
It's easy to get caught up in our own stress and anxiety. However, if we remember that our life is short and temporary, and that the everlasting life is in the Hereafter, this will put our worries in perspective.
This belief in the transitory nature of the life of this world reminds us that whatever difficulties, trials, anxieties, and grief we suffer in this world are, Insha Allah, something we will only experience for a short period of time. And more importantly, if we handle these tests with patience, Allah will reward us for it.
10. Do Zikr, Allah, Allah!
'... without doubt in the remembrance (Zikr) of Allah do hearts find tranquility'
(Quran 13:28).
If you commute, use your time in Zikr. Pick any Tasbeeh and do that instead of listening to the radio or reading the newspaper. Maybe you can divide it up between Zikr and planning. Personally, I recite the Tasbeeh of 'Subhana Allahe wa be hamdihi, subhan Allahil Azeem' 100 times as I drive. The Prophet taught us these two short phrases which are easy to say but will weigh heavy on our scale of good deeds in the Hereafter.
When your heart feels heavy with stress or grief, remember Allah and surround yourself with His Zikr. Zikr refers to all forms of the remembrance of Allah, including Salat, Tasbeeh, Tahmeed, Tahleel, making supplication (Dua), and reading Quran.
'And your Lord says: 'Call on Me; I will answer your (prayer)...' (Quran 40:60)
By remembering Allah in the way He has taught us to, we are more likely to gain acceptance of our prayers and His Mercy in times of difficulty. We are communicating with the only One Who not only Hears and Knows all, but Who can change our situation and give us the patience to deal with our difficulties.
'Remember Me, and I shall remember you; be grateful to Me, and deny Me not'
(Quran 2:152).
11. Relying on Allah: Tawakkul
When you awaken in the morning, thank Allah for giving you life after that short death called sleep. When you step out of your home, say 'in Your Name Allah, I put my trust in Allah, and there is no power or force except with Allah' (Bismillahi Tawakal to al Allah wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah). At night, remember Allah, with His praises on your lips.
Once you have established a plan you intend to follow through on to deal with a specific issue or problem in your life, put your trust in the most Wise and the All-Knowing.
'When you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah' (Quran 3: 159).
Rely on Allah by constantly remembering Him throughout your day. When you
lay down to sleep, remember that sleep is death. That is why one of the recommended supplications before going to sleep is 'with Your (Allah's) Name I die and become alive'.
12. Connect with other human beings
You are not alone. Muslims are not alone. We are not suffering in silence. There are millions of good people who are not Muslim with beautiful hearts and minds. These are people who have supported us, individually and collectively, post-9/11, by checking up on us and making sure we are safe. These are individuals and organizations who have spoken up in defense of Muslims as we endured harassment and discrimination.
We must think of them, talk to them, connect with them, and pray for them. Through our connections, we will break the chain of isolation that leads to depression and anxiety.
13. Compare your dining table with that of those who don't have as much as you do
The Prophet said: Whenever you see someone better than you in wealth, face or figure, you should look at someone who is inferior to you in these respects (so that you may thank Allah for His blessings) (Bukhari, Muslim).
Next time you sit down to eat, eye the table carefully. Check out the selection of food, the quality, the taste, the quantity, and then think of the millions of others who don't have even half as much. The Prophet's Hadith reminds us of this so that we can appreciate and thank God for all that we have.
Also remember that the Prophet only encouraged us to compare ourselves to others in two respects: in our Islamic knowledge and level of belief in God (Deen). In these two areas, we should compare ourselves with those who have more than what we do.
14. Say it Loud: Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar: Takbirat & Adhan
Find a corner of a lake, go out in the wilderness, or even stand on your lawn at your home and call the Adhan with your heart. While driving, instead of listening to the same news over and over again, say Allahu Akbar as loudly as you can or as softly as you want, based on your mood. Year ago, I remember calling Adhan on a Lake Michigan shore in Chicago after sunset as the water gushed against my knees. I was calling it for myself. There was no one else accept the waves after waves of water with their symphony. It was relaxing and meaningful. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
15. Pray in congregation (Jamat)
Pray with other people instead of alone. If you can't pray all five prayers in congregation, at least find one or two prayers you can pray with others. If you are away, establish Jamat in your own family. During the Prophet's time, even though the Muslims endured great persecution, including physical beatings, they would sometimes meet on the side of a mountain or valley and tried to pray together. This is a great morale booster.
16. How is your Imam's Dua?
Does the Imam at your local mosque make Dua silently or out loud? Ask him to supplicate with the whole congregation. Suggest Duas for him to make. Ask him to make Dua for other people.
17. Work for the Unity of Muslims
Bringing Muslims together will not only help the Muslims, but it will also encourage you to focus your energies on something constructive versus zeroing in on and consistently fretting about difficulties you are going through.
Invite Muslims from other ethnic groups to your functions. Visit Masjids other than yours in your city. When you meet a Muslim leader, after thanking him for his efforts, ask him what he is doing for Muslim unity. Ask Imams to make Dua for this. These are just small ways you can help yourself and the Muslim community.
18. Sleep the way the Prophet slept
End your day on a positive note. Make Wudu, then think of your day. Thank Allah for all the good things you accomplished, like Zikr and Salat. Ask yourself what you did today to bring humanity together and what you did to help Muslims become servants of humanity. For everything positive, say Alhamdu lillah (Praise be to Allah). For everything negative say Astaghfirullah wa atoobo ilayk (I seek Allah's forgiveness and I turn to You [Allah]). Recite the last two chapters of the Quran, thinking and praying as you turn on your right side with your hand below your right cheek, the way the Prophet used to sleep. Then close your day with the name of Allah on your tongue. Insha Allah, you will have a good, restful night.
19. Begin the Day on a Positive Note
Get up early. Get up thanking God that He has given you another day. Alhamdu lillahil lazi ahyana bada ma amatana, wa ilaihin Nushoor (Praise be to Allah Who gave us life after death and unto Him will be the return). Invest in an audio tape driven alarm clock so you can get up to the melody of the Quran. Or Let Dawud Wharnsby's joyful notes put you in a good mood. Sing along if you like. Develop your to do list for the day if you didn't do it the night before. Begin with the name of Allah, with Whose name nothing in the heavens or the earth can hurt you. He is the Highest and the Greatest.
(Bismillahillazi la yazurru maa ismihi shaiun fil arze wa la fis samae, wahuwal Alee ul Azeem).The Prophet used to say this after every Fajr and Maghrib prayers.
20. Avoid Media Overexposure: Switch from News to Books
Don't spend too much time checking out the news on the radio, television or internet. Spend more time reading good books and journals. When you listen to the persistent barrage of bad news, especially relating to Muslims nowadays, you feel not only depressed, but powerless. Cut down media time to reduce your stress and anxiety. It's important to know what's going on but not to an extent that it ruins your day or your mood. (similarly, when you are in a sad mood, refrain from wallowing and listening to sad songs)
21. Pray for Others to Heal Yourself.
The Prophet was always concerned about other people, Muslims and non-Muslims, and would regularly pray for them. Praying for others connects you with them and helps you understand their suffering. This in itself has a healing component to it. The Prophet has said that praying for someone who is not present increases love.
22. Make the Quran your Partner
Reading and listening to the Quran will help refresh our hearts and our minds. Recite it out loud or in a low voice. Listen to it in the car. When you are praying Nafl or extra prayers, pick it up and use it to recite portions of the Quran you are not as familiar with. Connecting to the Quran means connecting to God. Let it be a means to heal your heart of stress and worries. Invest in different recordings of the Quran and their translations.
'O humanity! There has come to you a direction from your Lord and a cure for all [the ills] in men's hearts - and for those who believe, a Guidance and a Mercy' (Quran 10:57).
23. Be thankful to Allah
'If you are grateful, I will give you more' (Quran 14:7).
Counting our blessings helps us not only be grateful for what we have, but it also reminds us that we are so much better off than millions of others, whether that is in terms of our health, family, financial situation, or other aspects of our life. And being grateful for all we have helps us maintain a positive attitude in the face of worries and challenges we are facing almost daily.
24. Ideals: ONE STEP AT A TIME
Ideals are wonderful things to pursue. But do that gradually. Think, prioritize, plan, and move forward. One step at a time.
25. EFFORTS not Results Count in the Eyes of Allah
Our success depends on our sincere efforts to the best of our abilities. It is the mercy of Allah that He does not demand results, Alhamdu lillah. He is happy if He finds us making our best sincere effort. Thank you Allah!
Pondering 37...
As today is my 37th birthday, I find cause to reflect on the meaning of one more year in this world. One of the things I find interesting is that as we get older, birthdays tend to take on new meaning. I recall my mother telling me not to remind her of the fact that it was her birthday as she said it just reminded her of how old she was, or how old she felt. For kids, on the other hand, birthdays are a time of celebration. I guess once we outgrow the parties and the celebratory aspects of 'the birthday,' the meaning does start to change.
For me, today's early morning reflection was devoted to trying to understand the significance of the birthday from the perspective of my life as a Muslim. As in Islam, we have no theological reason for celebrating birthdays, nonetheless, on a personal level the birthday should mean something to our lives, as it is an indicator that we have been graced By Allah with another year in this world. On that note, Surah al-Asr is a very poignant reminder to us about the gift of time and how, if we are blessed with it, we should approach it. Though short in length, al-Asr is powerful in its clarity and meaning:
"By the declining day,
Lo! man is in a state of loss,
Save those who believe and do good works, and exhort one another to truth and exhort one another to patient endurance."
The message for me on this my 37th birthday is a clear reminder from the All-Merciful. Celebrating another year in this life is only warranted if in fact that time is used for the blessed purpose of living in a manner that is aligned with Allah's pleasure. Praying for more time here is, therefore, conditional -- ask for it if you're going to make good use of it. If not, what are we wishing for?
Alhamdulillah that Allah has given me another year in this world, surrounded by wonderful people, a loving family, an honest living to wake up to every morning, good health and all that I could ever need to make it through the day. In fact, maybe that's the purpose of celebrating birthdays. Another year to take stock and make the futile attempt to actually count all ways that Allah has blessed us.
On this, my 37th birthday, I am humbled by my pondering over what this birthday really means -- a time for reflection and gratitude...
“And if you would count the favours of Allah, never could you count them. Truly, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.” (An-Nahl 16: 18)
For me, today's early morning reflection was devoted to trying to understand the significance of the birthday from the perspective of my life as a Muslim. As in Islam, we have no theological reason for celebrating birthdays, nonetheless, on a personal level the birthday should mean something to our lives, as it is an indicator that we have been graced By Allah with another year in this world. On that note, Surah al-Asr is a very poignant reminder to us about the gift of time and how, if we are blessed with it, we should approach it. Though short in length, al-Asr is powerful in its clarity and meaning:
"By the declining day,
Lo! man is in a state of loss,
Save those who believe and do good works, and exhort one another to truth and exhort one another to patient endurance."
The message for me on this my 37th birthday is a clear reminder from the All-Merciful. Celebrating another year in this life is only warranted if in fact that time is used for the blessed purpose of living in a manner that is aligned with Allah's pleasure. Praying for more time here is, therefore, conditional -- ask for it if you're going to make good use of it. If not, what are we wishing for?
Alhamdulillah that Allah has given me another year in this world, surrounded by wonderful people, a loving family, an honest living to wake up to every morning, good health and all that I could ever need to make it through the day. In fact, maybe that's the purpose of celebrating birthdays. Another year to take stock and make the futile attempt to actually count all ways that Allah has blessed us.
On this, my 37th birthday, I am humbled by my pondering over what this birthday really means -- a time for reflection and gratitude...
“And if you would count the favours of Allah, never could you count them. Truly, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.” (An-Nahl 16: 18)
Monday, March 02, 2009
I am Being Seen by God...
If you were to live your life every day with each moment and every breath carrying the direct perception that I am being seen by God, your whole life would change.
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
- Sheikh Din Muhammad Abdullah al-Dayemi
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Why Should I Grieve Because of a Thorn?
Why should I grieve because of a thorn?
Once it had made laughter known to me.
Whatever you lost through the stroke of destiny, know it was to save you from adversity.
One small affliction keeps off greater afflictions; one small loss prevents greater losses.
-Rumi, "Mathnawi"
Once it had made laughter known to me.
Whatever you lost through the stroke of destiny, know it was to save you from adversity.
One small affliction keeps off greater afflictions; one small loss prevents greater losses.
-Rumi, "Mathnawi"
Sunday, February 22, 2009
...This Week, The Statement Arrives...
"Last week, America ran up the credit card. This week, the statement arrives."
- Yahoo News story on President Obama's first state of the union address
- Yahoo News story on President Obama's first state of the union address
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Equip Man with a Sword and What Will He Be?
Had the world been conceived just to praise God, there would be no fervor in glorifying God. Equip man with a sword, remove his infirmities, and see what he will be: a brave knight or a devious thief?
-Rumi, "Mathnawi"
-Rumi, "Mathnawi"
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