Being a cyber counselor for the Muslim community, I feel it is time to say something about what I like to call the Good Muslim Syndrome.
My latest question has to do with a brother married to a Christian woman, who is starting to feel that he needs to divorce his wife because of the fear that when he takes her back to his home (Muslim) country, he fears that 'his people' will not accept her (and him, ostensibly) and scold him for not being 'a good Muslim.' Mind you there is nothing wrong with this wife and even he admits that though Christian, she is in many ways a "better Muslim" than him. She is even gaining an increasing interest in Islam and is more than willing to raise their children as Muslims.
The point of the story is that this young man is ready to divorce a very kind and pious woman, without due cause, out of his fear of not being seen by others as a "good Muslim."
The problem with this whole 'good Muslim' thing is that - as in the example above - it usually refers to how we want others to perceive us, rather than who we really are. It actually has little to do with how Allah sees us, or how we wish to be in His eyes, or how much we yearn to know our Lord. In essence, the good Muslim is the one that - similar to a five year old boy - is trying to make himself out to be good - to be seen - to win his father's love and adoration. However, Allah is not a human father. He is the Creator. He created all of us and everything else and continues to do so unceasingly every moment of every day of existence. He created us on something called fitra and it is only because of our ignorance, heedlessness and forgetfulness of Him that we live not in accordance with that fitra, i.e. outside the state of pure surrender to Him. The "good Muslim," in fact, is the essence of every single one of us, it is our pure and original state. That, and only that, is the good Muslim. Therefore, the only thing we need to try to do is to live in remembrance of that pure state and to STAY THERE. This means living for Allah, acting for Allah, and doing for Allah, not for others and for how others might label us.
The "Good Muslim" is a farce. The Good Muslim is actually Catholic by implying that we are born in sin and only by 'being good' can we be saved. Nay! We are Muslims, not Christians! There is no work to do other than the work that allows us to be our true selves, to live according to that pure self, that original state of fitra. However, by trying to be 'good Muslims' we end up wearing masks which are by nature, false. Rather than purifying the self and returning to our true selves, we end up piling more falsehood on our hearts and actually end up further away from truth than closer to it. These masks that we wear are nothing more than persona, an act, a pretending to be something for others which is not actually who we really are. But Allah knows our hidden truth. He knows who, in fact, we are trying to please through our behaviors and our "personality."
There is no such thing, in fact, as a Good Muslim. We are either in a state of Islam or we are not. As such, we are either Muslims or we are something else. The work is to learn and live to serve and please Allah, and by doing so, by discovering who we truly are and what greatness lies within. And most importantly, to do this not for anyone else's sake but His.
