Forcing the issue! (As children) we won't manifest (our best) as long as there is something else on our minds. And what's always on our minds? At the root of it is the dilemma of the need for self-justification, arising from an unwanted and unconscious compulsion to please our parents or to try to escape from pleasing our parents. So to that I say this. This attempt to please our parents is the root of all neuroses. It is our search for unconditional love. But even after we've found unconditional love it's hard for us to release our neurosis, our neurotic searching. Putting our neuroses back where they came from is integral to self healing. Children can never please their parents, it's impossible and they shouldn't have to. Parents must be pleased with their children, which means they must first be pleased with themselves. If they are not (and how many do you know that are?), they look to be pleased and project their need to be pleased onto their children. In effect, they put their children in the position of needing to please them - which can never be done because they cannot be pleased if they are not already. But if children can negotitate the shift from pleasing their parents to healing them, they can set themselves free and gain the approval they're looking for.
- Ali Ansari
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